Go Fug Yourself: Because Fugly Is The New Pretty

Queen Fugtoria

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sequins

Clearly, Emily Blunt is trying to hypnotize us all:

"You are getting veeeeerrrrrry sleepppppy. You willlllllllll egg the houses of the AMPAS members who snubbed me for Best Actress this years. You willlllll go steal that Michael Buble CD from your mom and burn it in a can in your backyard like a hobo. You willllll cluck like a chicken every time someone says 'Pam' or 'Rashida Jones.' You willlllll wake up from this with no knowledge of what I just said but with a burning, passionate fondness for my dress. WAKE UP!"

Well played, right guys! Cluck!

90Fug10

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makeup mishaps

I almost didn't recognize Drunkface here, on account of how that makeup makes her eyes look uncharacteristically puny:

[Photo: WENN.com]

Also, I'm beginning to suspect she guarded against a nip slip by supergluing her clothes to her boobs. And the way it wrinkles, I swear I see in her groin a mask that's a cross between an old hockey goalie and the Scream dude. I'm not sure if that means I passed or failed my Rorscrotch (Rorschach + crotch) test, or what I can glean from the fact that this dress thinks all the deepest truths to my psyche lie in Drunkface McCord's pelvis. Hopefully it will turn out to mean only that I need a nap.

Fug the Cover: Anne Hathaway

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GQ

Take note, ladies: FREAKY NECKLESS CORSET YOGA IS THE NEW HOT.

Fugmiscuous

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green,
sequins

This outfit reads like a bad date.

As in, a guy invited her out and didn't tell her what he had planned for the evening, and despite the fact that she gussied up in her very best forest-green sequined strapless romper, he proceeded with Plan A and took her bowling. Although in the guy's defense, he couldn't have been expected to NEED to warn anyone against wearing her very best forest-green sequined strapless romper, because a) it sounds like a garment spawned at the intersection of prom and Sonic Drive-In, and b) there is no best version of it.

Freaky Fug Friday: Voting Edition

I have to say, the acrostic challenges -- like this one -- really, really bring out the best in Fug Nation. This week's Freaky Fug Friday was nearly IMPOSSIBLE to narrow down -- truly. I could easily have put ten or twelve poems into the finals. If you haven't read all the entries, you should -- there's loads more genius in there to enjoy. WE ARE ALL HEROES HERE. But voting must commence:

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Behold your finalists!

1) "Poor Frances Bean," by Tailypo

Perhaps the toaster cozy on my head

Overpowers my kanekalon fiber weave?

Or are the socks too much? My stylist said

Rely on classics. Is that puke on my sleeve?

Fuck it. Ke$ha totally wears tie-dye.

Rock stars wear tie-dye! And jersey plus-fours!

Adderall makes me edgy. Where was I?

Now I am lost. Let's see. Am I outdoors?

Court, you've got to think. Was it Grammy Night?

Elton and Gaga, ashes, sparkling blues...

Seems Pink was spinning wet, can that be right?

Because these might be Justin Bieber's Shoes.

Either way I'm lost. My sore lip needs ice.

And where's my kid? Hey man, you holding?

Nice!

2) "Live Through This," by Sarah Rogers

Lovely Court, a note to you:

Invest in a can of dry shampoo. As

Very often, you're detected with

Extensions Britney Spears rejected.

Thank God for Hole and rock n roll,

However, 'all the drugs' can take their toll.

Remember, though you entertain us,

Our taste is footwear is not so heinous.

Under that coat is a body to die for! So

Give us an outfit to coo and sigh for!

Hell, we know you're too PUNK ROCK for fashion, but,

Toots, dress yourself with a little passion.

How about not resembling dereliction? And appearing

In something with an ounce of conviction? Just

So we're sure you're over your addiction...

3) "Pantaloons," by Melissa W

Perhaps the headwound won't seem quite as lame

All bonneted in lacy frumpy mass.

Not all my fault, though - for the leggings blame

The gnomes who stole my only looking glass.

Alas, the devils, much to my chagrin,

Left nighties there where once my shirts had been.

Oh heavens me, with gnomes did this begin?

Or was it oxycodone mixed with gin?

Nay, mark, dear friends, my fashionly mistake -

Someday you will ache like I do ache.

poll by twiigs.com

The Fuggs

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The Hills is starting to bum me out. It's beginning to seem like all those girls have some kind of depressing body dysmorphia, since most of them have either had plastic surgery or dropped loads of weight since starting work on the show. Or have turned themselves into a woman who CAN'T MOVE HER FACE AT ALL HEIDI MONTAG WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU YOUR FACE WAS TOTALLY PRETTY TO BEGIN WITH YOU ARE FREAKING ME OUT.

But honestly, right now I'm also super concerned about Stephanie Pratt's crop-top and sparkly bow necklace. Good thing clothes are easier to fix than almost anything else.

That Fug Show

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You guys, I'm scared.

[Photo: Splash News]

Do you think there's a cosmic reason Wilmer Valderrama is dressing like Kevin Federline? BECAUSE THAT CANNOT BE GOOD.

Fug or Fab: Kim Kardashian

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flesh tones,
fringe

Kim Kardashian IS pretty. Even if you hate her, she's pretty. And I say that as someone who has never managed to sit through an entire episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians despite ALSO being someone who is fully invested in The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love: Not Without My Skanks. But you could be the prettiest person who ever existed (a close battle is raging for that one, as the contenders include Cleopatra, Lucy Liu, Tim Riggins, Helen of Troy, three-fourths of the actors currently employed by The CW, Henry VIII before he got fat/gouty, and one of the dudes working at the Starbucks down the street) and not necessarily be able to pull off peach fringe:

When I first saw this, I thought she might be wearing a FRINGE SHRUG. Which, by the way, is the name of my new band. (We narrate episodes of Fringe in song, and then casually admit that we totally don't know what's going on.) But then I saw the rest:

Continue reading Fug or Fab: Kim Kardashian.

Fugus and Fuglange

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dialogue

SOLANGE: A strapless bandage dress? With THOSE tan lines?

VENUS: A jacket made of fishing lures? With LEGGINGS?

SOLANGE: You're right. Checkmate.

VENUS: Thank you.

Fug and Pieces: February 5

-- Did you know that curling dates to medieval Scotland? The origins of 10 winter Olympic sports are pretty fascinating. (Mental Floss)

-- Tom Ford shamed Colin Firth into going to the gym to get in shape for his nude scenes in A Single Man. Two things: 1) I like Colin Firth regardless of his body fat percentage 2) NUDE SCENES? I HAVE TO SEE THIS MOVIE. (The Cut)

-- Sounds like there is trouble in paradise for J. Lo. Hew and Jamie Kennedy. Gosh, I hope they don't break up before her book about dating comes out. Because before this, she always seemed like such an expert at relationships. (Celebitchy)

-- Lilo is now claiming she's a hoarder. I'm claiming that Lilo is an attention whore and wants to be ON Hoarders. (Vulture)

-- The Vanity Fair writer who is living according to GOOP tries out Gwynnie's uniform. With semi- disastrous results. (Vanity Fair)

-- Jason Wu has designed some AMAZING dolls for Madame Alexander. (W Magazine)

-- This article gives us a sneak peek at the Lady Gaga biographical comic book, and explains that there is also one coming about Robert Pattinson. OF COURSE THERE IS. That company is about to make a fortune. (Splash Page)

-- I don't mean to shock you, but apparently (and ALLEGEDLY) Julia Roberts is being totally bitchy on the Valentine's Day promo tour. In her defense, if I were in that movie, I might be crabby too. (Lainey Gossip)

-- Maybe she'd feel better if she put on some Pajama Jeans. Oh, yes. That is exactly what it sounds like. (Pajama Jeans)

-- I'm totally wearing my Pajama Jeans to this event, in which soap stars read Agatha Christie. Juliet Mills is going to be there, WITH MAXWELL CAUFIELD!!! Also, Stefanie Powers. As my friend who directed my attention to this pointed out, we ASSUME they're reading the books aloud, but it would also be entertaining if they just sat there and read quietly to themselves while people watched. (Playbill)

-- Speaking of soaps, this montage of soap actors saying "Daddy" is both awesome and hilarious and kind of creepy. (Vulture)

-- Teen Vogue picks the best dressed at the Grammys. Some of which I agree with, others I don't -- but how boring it would be if we all agreed, no? (Teen Vogue)

-- In honor of Sunday's Super Bowl, let's crush that stereotype that all football players are mindless meathead jackasses. Starting with the awesome Saints linebacker Scott Fujita. (Jezebel)

-- However, it's a fair bet that the mindless meathead jackass in your life might like you to buy him the newest cologne from The Situation. Yes. The Situation from Jersey Shore has a cologne. (Hollywood Life)

-- As you know, here at GFY, we are huge Lost fans. Mark Lisanti's write-up of this week's premiere is a must-read. Seriously. It's so funny. (Movieline)

-- Speaking of Lost, to take you into the weekend, here's a montage of all of Sawyer's nicknames for people (this montage is just seasons 1-3, so no worries about spoilers if you haven't watched this week's premiere). I think my favorite is "Doctor Giggles."

Queen Fugtoria

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90Fug10

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Celebrity Doppelgangers For Celebrities (PHOT

Fug the Cover: Anne Hathaway

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Fugmiscuous

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Freaky Fug Friday: Voting Edition

The Fuggs

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That Fug Show

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Fug or Fab: Kim Kardashian

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Fugus and Fuglange

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Fug and Pieces: February 5

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