Go Fug Yourself: Because Fugly Is The New Pretty

September 2, 2010

Emmy Awards Pre-Party Fug Carpet: Jayma Mays

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Oh, Jayma. And we were doing SO WELL.

A good rule of thumb is, never wear anything that might inadvertently threaten the job of your waxer.

Fug The Date II: 9/02/10

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90210

DONNA: Hee hee hee.

KELLY: HA!

DONNA: Hilarious!

KELLY: I am never going to live this down.

DONNA: I know! Your earrings are so small

KELLY: I... wait, what? I'm wearing a denim vest over a sheer blouse, and I look like a deodorant commercial where you rub on Degree and tiny animated flowers float out of the roll-on, and your take-away from all this is my earrings?

DONNA: Hee! So little!

KELLY: Well, I shouldn't be surprised. You DO appear to have borrowed one of David's blouses.

DONNA: David IS a blouse.

KELLY: Oddly, that might be one of the least crazy things you've ever said.

Kelly Osbourne's Pussycat Doll Makeover

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Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Glenn Close

In some ways Glenn Close is the Helen Mirren of TV: She looks great, she's still doing awesome work, and she frequently nails it on the red carpet.

Frequently, as in, not always.

This just looks like a giant painter's tarp -- and not one that's particularly well-draped, either. As my friend Carrie said, "You have to hoist 'em and help 'em, Glenn," and sadly, pretty much everything below Glenn's shoulders is issuing an unheard S.O.S. Her alter-ego Patty Hewes would investigate this crime so fervently that at least three other outfits that are friends with this dress will end up dead within forty-eight hours, and another will be arrested trying to flee the country with a suitcase full of pins and a crisp Andrew Jackson.

However, at the pre-parties, it was so much worse:

Continue reading Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Glenn Close.

Fug The Date: 9/02/10

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90210,
dialogue

BRENDA: I don't believe it.

KELLY: You're kidding me, right?

DONNA: I'm a virgin. So I like my underwear long and my turtlenecks high.

BRENDA: It's seriously September 2, 2010?

KELLY: As in, 9.02.10?

BRENDA: Right. Next you'll tell me there are flying cars.

KELLY: And shoes with no heels.

BRENDA: And am I still in love with Dylan on 9.02.10?

KELLY: Brenda, you're always going to be in love with Dylan. The question is whether I'm in love with Dylan.

DONNA: Did I graduate? God, I hope I'm not still in high school.

BRENDA: Are chokers still in?

KELLY: What about see-through shirts?

DONNA: Can I still wear my leggings.

BRENDA: ... Donna, don't be ridiculous. That will never happen.

KELLY: Well, happy 9.02.10 day, guys.

DONNA: Happy... wait, what? This headband is making my brain math itchy sweat hot.

BRENDA: I'm guessing that's one thing that won't have changed.

September 1, 2010

Emmy Awards Well Played: Claire Danes

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Regardless of how you may feel about Claire "Seriously? Claire Danes is plugging eyelash Rogaine? Claire Danes? You think CLAIRE DANES seems like someone who cares about my puny lashes??" Danes -- and I personally am not sure how I feel about the blonde hair, even though I believe she herself IS naturally blonde -- it's hard to deny that this works:

FINE, ANGELA CHASE. YOU WIN THIS ROUND. You look gorgeous. I enjoy your gown. And if I wasn't worried about your Eyelash Witchcraftery turning my eyes a different color, I would try it. YOU HAVE PREVAILED.

Emmy Awards Fug Party: Cobie Smulders

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bad hair,
jumpsuit

This started off badly:

And got worse:

Continue reading Emmy Awards Fug Party: Cobie Smulders.

Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Eva La Rue

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wearing white

And the Emmy for the Most Obvious goes toooooooooooooooooo:

Eva La Rue! Oh, Eva. I understand that you were once married to John "J. Peterman" O'Hurley, and that, of course, you are currently acting alongside television's most adept scenery-chewer and sunglasses-ripper-off, and therefore might not have the world's best grasp of subtlety, but that is why YOU GET A STYLIST. You feel me?

Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Kristin Bauer

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Kristin Bauer is so good as Pam on True Blood:

Seriously, she makes me laugh at least once an episode. No one does deadpan better than she does. However, I don't know that "deadpan" is exactly the right inspiration for one's makeup come Emmy night. YOU, Kristin, are (presumably) ALIVE, and, ergo, a little bit of color in your face would not go awry. Otherwise, carry on -- and please write an article about your abs workout, so I can read it, tear it out, plan to do it, and then decide to go have a sandwich instead. Thanks!

Emmy Awards Well Played: Connie Britton

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Dear Connie Britton:

I love you, and I would love you even if you'd shown up to the Emmys wearing, like, a Members Only jacket repurposed as a skirt and a bowl of fruit on your head like a hat. That being said, I'm REALLY glad you wore this instead, because you look lovely. You also looked great at the pre-Emmys party:

Continue reading Emmy Awards Well Played: Connie Britton.

Emmy Awards Fug or Fab Carpet: Padma Lakshmi

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I don't know, Padma:

Great color, but the tulle-covered slit is a bit Liza With A Z to me -- and in the personally-exfoliated-David-Gest's-tonsils way, not the popped-up-in-Arrested Development way. And as much as I enjoy a statement necklace, that one feels like a large tongue unfurling itself in either mockery or the thirsty hope that she's still lactating. So why don't I entirely hate it? Good question, actually, Maybe I do.

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Emmy Awards Pre-Party Fug Carpet: Jayma Mays

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Fug The Date II: 9/02/10

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Kelly Osbourne's Pussycat Doll Makeover

Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Glenn Close

Fug The Date: 9/02/10

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Emmy Awards Well Played: Claire Danes

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Emmy Awards Fug Party: Cobie Smulders

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Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Eva La Rue

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Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Kristin Bauer

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Emmy Awards Well Played: Connie Britton

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Emmy Awards Fug or Fab Carpet: Padma Lakshmi

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