November 6, 2009
-- Busy Phillips called Chad Michael Murray "a douche" at the Paley Festival's Dawson's Creek event. The account of the ensuing attempts of James Van Der Beek to kinda-sorta-not-really defend The Chad is hysterical. Oh, CMM. You squinty, squinty douche.[Zap2It]

-- This is a fascinating account of Nicolas Cage's compulsive spending: 'Three people who visited his house also report seeing shrunken heads. None is sure whether they were actual people's heads (which are illegal to import) or simply those of animals (which generally are not). Still, one thing was for certain. "They were pretty weird," says a source.' Also, the art on that first page really ought to be the next National Treasure movie poster. [The Daily Beast]

-- How is it possible that Dakota Fanning has grown up as an insanely respected child actress AND a totally normal kid who is also completely adorable? I mean, if you are a movie star and the potentially jealous fools at your high school STILL vote you Homecoming Princess, then you must be doing something right. [JustJared]

-- Who do we think is going to wear these Alexander McQueen shoes first? My vote is Lady Gaga, although she might have to wrestle them from Jennifer Lopez's greedy claws. [Vogue]

-- But it is REALLY a reality show based on The Cutting Edge if nobody is doing the pamchenko? [PopWatch]

-- Stephen Colbert wants to save the U.S. Olympic Speed Skating team by raising enough cash to sponsor it. People can donate by clicking here. We love you, Stephen. Also, you'd raise a lot more money if you promised to wear the unitard on-air. Trust us. We're fashion bloggers. [Time.com and USSpeedskating.org]

-- We did an interview for Lifetime's Web site, and then we picked a couple celebrity looks we like that are themed by People Whose Legs Remind Us We Really Need To Unplug The Laptop And Work Out Sometime. [MyLifetime.com]

-- And after the jump, a video clip that I hope will make your life, as it did mine:
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Okay, Kristin, we see you. And we covet your abs. Mission accomplished.

Bold choices from Yvonne and Madeline Zima here.

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I'm not entirely convinced Yvonne didn't make that red thing herself one long, sleepless night while TNT ran the movie Maverick over and over again. And Madeline's seems like it belongs in one of those old-timey photo setups where you show up, they put old clothes over your real ones, and tell you not to smile while they take your photo -- all so you can get a sepia-toned picture of yourself in a cardboard frame looking like your own crabby ancestor.

In fact:
Katy Perry had a busy night in Germany: As the host of the MTV EMAs, she did what every awards-show emcee does, and wore seventy billion different outfits. I got tired just sifting through the photos, and I didn't have to change my pants every five minutes to do it -- although maybe next time I will, just to increase my empathy. That way, when, say, Eva Longoria Parker hosts the ALMAs again and dons 15 separate ensembles, and I fug them, and she calls me up (you know, as she's wont to do) and goes, "Bitch, you don't know my life," I can be like, "Oh yes I DO -- do you KNOW how many t-shirts I went through last night while I was surfing for photos?" And then we'll cry and hug it out and she'll give me a pair of Louboutins from her closet as a peace offering.

Anyway: Perry. Let's start with what she wore on the red carpet.

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I don't mind this too much. From some angles, the black detail looks like a creeping skin disease, and I guess it is indenting on her left boob a little bit, and I am tired of fishtails... in fact, given all of that, why DOESN'T it bother me? I don't know. I actually think she looks pretty. And TINY. It's not that I ever thought Katy Perry wasn't super slender, but for whatever reason this drove it home.

Later, there was this:

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It's fine. It fits her boobs better. It's fairly plain, but for the adornment on her chest that reminds me of what might happen if you ran over an Everlasting Gobstopper with your car.

Once Katy got on stage, though, things took their usual turn:


This photo was a contender for Freaky Fug Friday, until Katy Perry swooped in with her Swiss Cheese ball gown and stole Leigh Lezark's thunder.

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[Photo: Splash News]

It's just as well. Because obviously, based on her dress, Leigh Lezark has just returned from an incredibly depressing and cheap Hawaiian vacation, and she needs some time to heal.

Is Ginnifer Goodwin being punished?

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I feel like this is what you'd get if you tried going out in a skimpy outfit, and your mother said, "HOLD ON THERE, honey, you are not leaving my house dressed like THAT," and you were like, "MOM, don't be so LAME, this is TOTALLY not even that short," and she was all, "But I can see your NIPPLE poking through there," and you were like, "Dude, Mom, nips are the new black, everyone is doing it," and she was like, "I WOULD SOONER GLUE THE GUEST-ROOM CURTAINS TO YOUR BODY THAN LET YOU WEAR THAT DRESS," and you go, "I'd like to see you TRY, old woman," and she said, "OH NO YOU DI'INT," and grabbed her glue gun and a stapler and went to town, and you wore it out anyway just to prove that she couldn't defeat you. So I guess what I'm saying is, maybe Ginnifer would've been better off picking the lengthy grounding that awaited her behind Door No. 2.
I always speak too soon. I put up photos of people on the red carpet -- like Beyonce yesterday, and Leona today -- and then I see that they changed their clothes for the performance portion of the evening. It happens ALL THE TIME and yet I always forget. I am like Jessica Simpson with boys who are guaranteed to break her heart: I NEVER LEARN.

First up: Beyonce's stage attire.
 
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You know, it's... well, it's Beyonce in lingerie. It's not the weirdest thing she's ever worn, nor is it particularly inspired. I guess I just wish she weren't being quite so Christina Aguilera about it all. We've been there. We've seen that. It was dirrrrty. Move along.

Leona Lewis went much bigger for her performance:
When I was younger, The Worst Witch was one of my favorite book series, and I LOVED the TV version they did with Charlotte Rae and Diana Rigg and -- the best -- Tim Curry. And Fairuza Balk, just a kid at the time, played the hapless sorceress in question, Mildred Hubble. She was adorable, and I've always had a soft spot for her because of that part.

So I enjoyed seeing her turn up at the Bad Lieutenant premiere. I guess she's in the movie. Hooray for being a working actress.

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And when I saw this, I thought, "Oh, it's typical Fairuza biker-chick fashion. I'm sure the bottom is just a pair of leather pants, or something."

It is not.

When I first saw this photo, I thought, "I guess that's sort of an interesting cocktail dress Leona is wearing."

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And then. AND THEN:

It's not that I hate things that are sparkly.

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It's that I think Eva Mendes may have arrived at this event via confetti cannon.

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