If this infusion of ruffles can't cheer you up, girl, I don't know what will -- especially since you've married them to that old classic, My Skirt Looks Like The Stage At An Olde Time Dance Hall. NOTHING makes me happier than this combo. Okay, that's a lie: free Louboutins, shirtless male Olympic swimmers, and wheels of brie also make me happy. Finding a can of Diet Coke at the back of the fridge when you thought you were out. When you turn on the TiVo, and it's magically recorded that episode of 90210 where Kelly chooses herself. Dancing around the living room to "Womanizer." The puppy cam. Gold football pants. Oh, and world peace. So I guess I'm easy pleased. But seriously: Bai Ling + plaid + ruffles + a skirt slit up to Jesus + wee polka dot gloves = HAPPINESS. So pour yourself a cup of glee, Bai Ling, and give yourself a pat on the back for bringing us all a little holiday cheer.
Bai Ling
Fugtourage
If this infusion of ruffles can't cheer you up, girl, I don't know what will -- especially since you've married them to that old classic, My Skirt Looks Like The Stage At An Olde Time Dance Hall. NOTHING makes me happier than this combo. Okay, that's a lie: free Louboutins, shirtless male Olympic swimmers, and wheels of brie also make me happy. Finding a can of Diet Coke at the back of the fridge when you thought you were out. When you turn on the TiVo, and it's magically recorded that episode of 90210 where Kelly chooses herself. Dancing around the living room to "Womanizer." The puppy cam. Gold football pants. Oh, and world peace. So I guess I'm easy pleased. But seriously: Bai Ling + plaid + ruffles + a skirt slit up to Jesus + wee polka dot gloves = HAPPINESS. So pour yourself a cup of glee, Bai Ling, and give yourself a pat on the back for bringing us all a little holiday cheer.
Well Played, Bai Ling?!?
[Photo: WENN]
Sure, that looks nice and normal, but we all know better. What've you got on your lower half, eh? A tutu made of human hair? Pants made out of maracas? Bloomers stuffed with cotton balls and cashew nuts? It's got to be SOMETHING crazy. You are Bai freaking Ling, after all.
Or are you:
Yet More Fug Ling
Also, frankly, the woman deserves credit for all that she does. Only Bai Ling and her Band-Aids of Truth could find an outfit that unravels from the MIDDLE.
Fug 2: High Voltage
And with a wee bit of underboob cleavage as well, bless her heart. Because nothing goes with a stocking cap and a dress made of Wrinkle like a splash of underboob. You know, things just don't feel right around GFY HQ if someone isn't squealing, "Oh, BAI LING!" on occasion. In fact, we're all wearing I HEART BAI LING Band-Aids on our calves right now. I'd take a picture, but I haven't shaved my legs today. Or -- who am I kidding -- showered. You don't need that.
The Fug-Files
Like, say, her nipples. Although her Band-Aids of Truth today seem to carry a message about love and humanity, so maybe she thinks that her shadowy areolae are the ultimate unifying gift to an unkind, divided human race that knows no compassion. Or, she just didn't realize they were showing.
Nips aside, the rest of this appears shockingly modest, almost like she is in the middle of choreographing a figure-skating routine that's an ode to amber traffic lights. But it's Bai, so there is always SOMETHING else going on -- and, in her words from her blog, "You have to go on line check out my dress tonigh, its insane, the back, you will be surprised...... Its french disgner, I love the yellow, its spring time and always happy." (That entire sentence is sitting in a big pool of [sic], by the way.)
Time to end the suspense. Let's have a round of applause for the back:
Crank II: Fug Voltage
Or can you? This is generically kind of unfortunate -- those boots with that otherwise okay if nipple-tastic dress, the headband, the sulky expression -- but it's pretty tame compared to what you'd THINK Bai Ling would wear to a Christian Audigier event. I mean, I was thinking Ed Hardy bikini top and a skirt made of bananas or something. WHY MUST YOU DISAPPOINT ME SO?
Fug Ranch
According to our friends at IMDb, our beloved Bai Ling here has completed photography on SIX FILMS coming out over the next two years, is filming another, and is in pre-production on yet another. Girlfriend works her ass off. When does she have time to create/procure the likes of this?

Wait! I want you to see the back (speaking of asses, especially):

Whee! It's like....a leotard with the human equivalent of saddle bags attached? At least she has somewhere to store her lip gloss, her house key, and her copy of The Interplanetary Guide to Human Interaction: Intrigue, Involve, Inveigle.
Fug Ling
How can you not fall in love with this?

I know. It's crazy. It's complicated. It's custom-made. It's the costume from the show-stopping closer to Act One of Kiss of the Spiderwoman II: This Time, It's Way Less Metaphorical! It might also be shorts.
And it appears Bai is wearing her Message Band-Aids again. Let's take a closer look at them, shall we?
Bai Fug
Flush with the glow of her Fug Madness win, our girl Bai Ling has remained wonderfully unafraid to leave the house. Incidentally, she did actually mention her victory on her delicious blog, although for some reason that entry feels to me like someone else wrote it -- no matter how much we riff on her many personalities, in my heart of hearts I can't believe loony, gentle Bai would seriously call us Earth people "stupid," even if she is simultaneously excited to be a champion of something.
Anyway, back to Bai. When I first saw this photo last week, I feared she'd gone all demure on us in the wake of being declared The Fugliest Of Them All.
It's just so very SERIOUS, like she's decided to quit acting so she can attend Austria's prestigious Milkmaid School, where you don't get to show cleavage until you are fully certified.
But I should've known that Bai Ling, especially in this recent L.A. heat, would not stay serious and amply clothed for too long.
Grammy Awards Fug Carpet: Bai Ling
Apparently, our favorite demi-nudist Bai Ling was arrested for shoplifting -- and not, in fact, skirtlifting, which is how I first read the news, and which prompted me to sigh, "Oh, come on, people, that's just WHAT SHE DOES. LET HER LIVE, DAMMIT!"
Let's enjoy her in happier times.
This is our girl as nature intended: smiling, finding creative ways to circumvent a top that appears designed not to show any boob, and overall looking like she leapt out of the pages of a Dr. Seuss book. We wouldn't be at all shocked if her first call from inside the pokey went to her ex-boyfriend The Lorax. And, yes, those ARE Band-Aids with writing on them that she is using as shin jewelry -- one is in Chinese and the other says "Happy" and... something that look like "New York," maybe, and... Well, see for yourself:
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The Book of fug

A book, huh? Is it just stuff you already put on the Web site?
Nope, we wrote the whole thing fresh, just for you.
Awesome. In that case, I want to read it!
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