Search Results

November 20, 2009

Fugrine McPhee: The Bad Hair Saga Continues

Fug file:

Last time we saw Katharine McPhee, I remarked that I thought she looked like a low-rent version of one of the lesser Dixie Chicks.

Now, it's more like Zack Morris:

Someone needs to be saved by the bell, indeed, and by "the bell," I obviously mean, "a certified hair-stylist."

November 12, 2009

CMA Awards Fug Carpet: Kellie Pickler

Fug file:

About ten minutes after I started working on this piece, a reader e-mail came through that enclosed this picture and was titled, "Kellie Pickler, Age 43."

And it's TRUE. This kid is 23, but you'd never know it. Now, I don't blame Kellie for wanting to distinguish herself from the cabal of country blondes -- Julianne Hough, Taylor Swift, Miranda Lambert, Carrie Underwood -- but the sedate hair plus the heavy dress, which looks like something a mature lady socialite would wear to a charity gala she's chairing, do nothing but add years to her.

Like, seriously, compare her to attendee Patricia Heaton, who is 51:

Continue reading CMA Awards Fug Carpet: Kellie Pickler.

October 23, 2009

Katharine FugPhee

Fug file:

A reader e-mailed us an interview in which Katharine McPhee bragged that her blonde hair has made her more creative.

[Photo: WENN.com]

Together, that reader and I wondered if by "creative" she meant "blind."

October 14, 2009

Paula Abfug

Fug file:

"That's right, American Idol producers. I'm the tiny serving of meat in a Snoop and Adam Lambert sandwich -- the $5 in this particular foot-long -- and one of them is wearing velvet and the other has on Lagerfeld gloves, and yet I STILL look the weirdest. You are going to miss the hell out of me, bitches."

September 17, 2009

Katharfug McPhee

Fug file:

Have we talked about what a bad idea this is?

And I'm not talking about the dress -- although I could be, because girl, I can see things. Private things. And those private things, as bathed in the nosy light of the camera flashes, appear to be the same color as Katharine McPhee's dye job.

I can't figure out why she did it. If this is for a role, I will laugh, because I feel like if you are hiring Katharine McPhee for your movie, you're not doing it because she's a chameleonic actress of the highest caliber -- you're doing it because the nation fell in love with her on American Idol and wanted to invite her over to dinner. So having her not LOOK like Katharine McPhee is kind of a drawback.

Of course, Katharine McPhee might be sick of looking like Katharine McPhee, and I respect that. We all like a change every now and then. But generally don't we like to stick to flattering ones? That color and cut evoke nothing so much as Kelly Taylor: The Cult Years, when she got sucked in by one of her professors and Brandon and Dylan had to work together to get her out; and also, Kelly Taylor: Single White-Blond Female, during which time Kelly went to rehab for coke addiction and her roommate Tara became obsessed with her and came home one day with an identical hairstyle. Those were, dare I say it, extremely low points for our plucky heroine, and are very unfortunate visual associations for Katharine here. But I guess we can at least be thankful that she didn't go down Donna Martin Blvd. That girl changed her hair every six episodes and STILL never found a combination that worked.

poll by twiigs.com

May 21, 2009

American Fugdol

Fug file:

I managed to polish off last night's two-hour Idol finale in about 20 minutes, so chock-a-block was it of cringe-worthy filler. In fact, the only performance I stopped on for longer than ten seconds was the one involving Queen; what can I say, I was practically raised on Queen music. And I think the timing of them dumping Paul Rodgers as a temporary front-man gels perfectly with Adam Lambert losing, so they can just plug him in there and go back on tour. Right? I mean, RIGHT? I've been saying all along he belongs in the We Will Rock You cast but being in ACTUAL Queen would be even better.

Seriously: The dude sang with Kiss and had to wear shoulder cages.

[Photo: Look, my camera had been drinking. Yes, that's it. Drinking.]

And he pulled them off with gusto. I may not be the biggest fan of Lambert's actual voice, but he certainly knows how to perform music I am interested to WATCH, if not solely HEAR. Adam stood next to Gene Simmons, who was wearing spiked silver armor, and held his own in studded half-globes that look like the frame around which someone's costume on The Tudors is about to be built. Were Freddie Mercury here, he'd be applauding and then asking Adam if he wants to borrow any of his old jumpsuits.

Speaking of jumpsuits:

Continue reading American Fugdol.

April 15, 2009

Afugifug Ifug

Fug file:

When Ryan Seacrest had to introduce Paula on last night's American Idol, he actually drew a blank on how to describe her outfit -- finally settling on "expensive."

[Photo: Guess who?]

I think I'd have expanded that to, "A very expensive leash."

Also, what's with the optical illusion here that Paula's right arm is about half the size of her left? Is my camera just trying to mess with us all now? That doesn't seem kind. The woman is wearing some sort of bejewelled harness. She has enough problems.

April 2, 2009

Fugly Gaga

Fug file:

Now that Fug Madness has ripped off the Lady Gaga Band-Aid, I suppose it's all-systems-go with this one. She can credit her appearance on American Idol last night for bringing her more fully into the barbed Fug fold. It was kind of a terrible performance -- the kind where I could see how the song might be good, and I respect that she actually played the piano, but it was a hilarious mess.

Led by this:

[Photo: You know it was me, people. Just look at its quality.]

As her outfits go, it's not even near her worst. But iIt's almost too on-the-nose: a star theme, for a show that purports to find the next big recording star (or the next Taylor Hicks). I particularly enjoy the cutout sleeve and all the tassels snaking down her leg like tentacles trying to suck her into the jaws of something ravenous. Perhaps it's a pants-eating monster. That would explain all her other ensembles: She's being stalked by something with a grudge against fabric.

I don't know how to explain this, though:

Continue reading Fugly Gaga.

March 12, 2009

Fugye West and Friends

Fug file:

Usually, I start watching American Idol when they get down to about ten, and skip the results shows entirely, because the medleys and the Ford commercials and the relentless padding and the MEDLEYS, MY GOD, THE MEDLEYS, make my brain cry. But for the sheer opportunities to ogle Paula Abdul's crazy clothes, the stuff the stylists-on-crack (as opposed to crack stylists) put on the contestants, and the big-name special guests, I could not resist starting earlier and TiVoing the results show for minimum pain.

I was rewarded with Kanye West.

[Photo: My TV. I'm really, really sorry the quality stinks.]

Now, Kanye here must have been rather knackered, since he's been jet-setting from Milan to Paris watching a bunch of runway shows with his extra-terrestrial girlfriend. But I was still sort of saddened to see him eschew his flashier threads -- like all the jackets that look like he stole them from a high-school pep band -- in favor of a bunch of mismatched denim pieces that many people call at least a partial Texas Tuxedo (although a lot of our Texas readers beg to differ, and who can blame them?). You'd think that, after hanging out in Milan, where Agatha Ruiz De La Prada sent models down the catwalk in baguette hats, dresses that look like breakfast, and a skirt with a handlebar mustache -- or in Paris, where a recent runway show featured a skirt in the image of Animal from The Muppet Show -- that we'd have gotten something with a little more oomph. Something a tad less discount from a dude who thinks he's so awesome, he was quoted as saying the greatest pain in his life is that he cannot watch himself perform live.

Perhaps if he could, he'd have noticed this little hitch in his giddyup:

Every time he bent over to touch the fans -- or, in this case, hop up on the desk -- his pants slid further down his ass. I kept rooting for them to drop off with gusto as he reached the climax of the song. Alas, they did not. Apparently the magic of Kanye is that he can control his trousers with his MIND.

He also worked some wonders with his backup singer:

Continue reading Fugye West and Friends.

March 11, 2009

Amerifugcan Idol

Fug file:

So, every season I tell myself, "I am totally not watching Idol this year," and then every single season eventually sees me on the phone with my parents being all, "I would NEVER vote for [whoever]. I HATE HIS FACE," and then we talk about who we can't stand the most, before covering who we think is going to win Survivor and also The Amazing Race, and then about how my mother can't watch Dancing With the Stars anymore because, while she liked Helio, she thinks Mel B got robbed and she's never gotten over it. It's a good time all around. Especially because every single season I get to rediscover the singular delights of one Miss Paula Abdul. I'm not kidding, every time I saw her in this outfit from last night, I burst out laughing. Not derisively, either. I mean, a little bit. But MOSTLY with actual DELIGHT:

Is this a sartorial homage to the time Fabio got hit in the head with a seagull? Let's take a closer look:

Huh. So it is. Who would have thought such a thing even existed? Bless.

Results tagged “American Idol” from GoFugYourself

Fugrine McPhee: The Bad Hair Saga Continues

Fug file:

CMA Awards Fug Carpet: Kellie Pickler

Fug file:

Katharine FugPhee

Fug file:

Paula Abfug

Fug file:

Katharfug McPhee

Fug file:

American Fugdol

Fug file:

Afugifug Ifug

Fug file:

Fugly Gaga

Fug file:

Fugye West and Friends

Fug file:

Amerifugcan Idol

Fug file:

Search

Fug Favorites

Featured Fugger

The Book of fug

Subscribe to GFY