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November 17, 2009

Fug or Fab or Unfug: Halle Berry

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It is unusual indeed that I look at a picture of Halle Berry and think, "Eh. Halle doesn't look that great."

Because she is Halle Berry, and she usually looks great regardless of outfit. But this just fills me with eh, meh and feh, with a dash of blah and whole lot of BORING. Am I correct, or has Sharon Stone just ruined me for anyone else? Can this be fixed? Should it be fixed? How? Why? When? Where? Who? SO MANY QUESTIONS.

poll by twiigs.com

October 13, 2009

Ugly Fugly and Fug or Fab, America Ferrera

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Well. America Ferrera looks fantastic from the neck up.

From the neck down, on the other hand, she looks like sgaeyqi0o8hy6YNHBBBBBBBBZPGIOJI3UUUUUUU 3RUtGXDHHHOoooooooqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq.

Excuse me. I'm so sorry. I just lost consciousness, due to FLAMING FIERY BOREDOM. I mean, sure, this is fine if you're going to court to contest a speeding ticket or to a meeting of your co-op board at which you will be questioned for hours regarding a loud and inappropriate Beer Pong party you may or may not have had, or to sign your will. If you are a twenty-four year old actress, and you are not in Halloween costume as Katie Couric, however, it is unacceptably SNOOZEVILLE. Plus, it is doing her youthful bod no favors.

Later, America changed into this:

Continue reading Ugly Fugly and Fug or Fab, America Ferrera.

September 14, 2009

VMAs Fug Carpet: Amanda Bynes

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OH MY GOD, you guys! You're not going to believe this! Amanda Bynes is wearing a tiny mini-dress and a fake tan!

Up is down and down is up! Next you're going to tell me that bacon grows on trees and Brett Favre is retiring for good and Audrina Patridge made eye contact with something! WE'RE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS HERE, PEOPLE.

July 23, 2009

Solo Fug

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SOLANGE KNOWLES. You have GRAVELY DISAPPOINTED ME.

Sure, you've belted what is obviously just a large pajama top and left the house in it. BUT SO WHAT? That's totally JV Fug Squad behavior and you know it. You're a star on the varsity team! You'd have been voted Rookie of the Year last year if it hadn't been for that pesky -- and curiously currently MIA -- Aubrey O'Day! Honestly, if this thing were two inches longer, you'd look totally normal. WHITHER THE FEATHERS? Where is your face paint? WHY aren't you wearing leggings with, like, bagels or casserole dishes printed on them? (I'm hungry.) Shouldn't you be wearing a bolero jacket made of twigs, sewn together with dental floss? As the bumper sticker says, Solange, WHY BE NORMAL?

PS: I just read that you shaved your head yesterday, prior to this function, and that you're wearing a wig here. DUDE! THAT is what I'm talking about. And while I'm relieved to see that you're clearly wearing something quasi-nutty in those shots of you sporting the bald look, I have to tell you non-sarcastically: you look awesome bald. Seriously. Way better than Britney. Your head is well-formed. So, my further advice is to ditch the wig and rock your skull. OMG: You could even occasionally allow your face paint to DRIFT ONTO YOUR HEAD. Promise me you'll think about it. PLEASE SOLANGE.

June 30, 2009

Fugloe Fugvigny

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I am experiencing some serious fugja-vu here, courtesy of Chloe Sevigny:

Aside from still having legs and a shoe closet to die for, Chloe apparently also has this ensemble in more than one shade of bland. Because you never know when you'll need TWO blazers with scalloped skirts that always catch in your crotch and either make people wonder if they're culottes or create unfortunate wrinkles that point right up your fun zone. I mean, it only makes sense: It's CLEARLY blasphemy to wear the ecru at night, so of course you'd keep one in your closet that's a more thrilling beige hue, or perhaps a daring latte-tinged flavor of khaki -- you know, a tan that really brings your new blood-orange colored lipstick and the kaleidoscope of sequins you've sewn to an old ballet leotard. I'm so pleased Chloe understands these kinds of nuances.

June 25, 2009

Unfug It Up: Eva Green

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I've recently come to the conclusion that I prefer my Eva Green to look, as she often used to, like a lunatic, sex-starved, consumptive vampiress than....well, this:

BLAAAAAAH. This woman is not particularly interested in draining the blood of the innocent, or interrupting the sleep of the just, or disturbing the dinner of the holy, or stealing the mail of the virgins, or trimming the bangs of the uptight, or anything even REMOTELY sexy and vampiric. And ergo, I have no use for her.

But surely, this can be fixed, no? We can re-interestify her, yes? I'm confident this unfortunate choice is not beyond the powers of the GFY Nation. Work your magic -- nicely, as usual -- in the comments, please!

June 19, 2009

The Big Fug Theory

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Empirically, there may be nothing wrong with this. It's hard to tell -- with all-black outfits, sometimes I can't see enough on my computer screen to know if I'm missing something really obvious. But my beef here is not so much with the ensemble, per se...

... but rather that: a) Kaley is attending celebratory party for the Lakers on a rather warm Los Angeles night, yet seems more appropriately dressed for the funeral of a public parks official in, say, Northern Canada; and b) Kaley looks alarmingly like an Olsen, with her tousled hair, her pursed-lip smile, and the heavy black shift and blazer, and I think the Olsens do the Olsens better. Which is as it should be. Plus, not that the Olsens aren't very pretty girls, but why -- when you are on one of the country's most successful (inexplicably so to me, but still) sitcoms -- would you want to even RISK being mistaken for anyone who participated in New York Minute? Yes, that movie features a makeover montage at the House of Bling, but it ALSO features Andy Richter having something VERY close to an awkward Mickey-Rooney-in-Breakfast at Tiffany's moment, and Darrell Hammond trying to deliver sincere dialogue with a profound moral message for the children. It's just WRONG, is what I'm saying. And I should know -- I just watched it (again) last weekend. Don't judge me. It's hard to resist the temptation to see if it's going to be just as bad with each subsequent viewing, and then when it turns out to be, I feel oddly vindicated. And now I've said too much. Carry on, everyone. Nothing to see here.

June 15, 2009

Unfug It Up: Christina Hendricks

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I just seriously do not even know what to do with Mad Men's Christina Hendricks. She looks amazing on the show and then in real life, she looks like this:

Her face, at least, is great -- that is, of course, the saving grace of the majority of celebrities featured herein, that even if they're wearing two potato sacks and a recycling bin, their genetics continue to be kind to them -- but hoo boy, what is up with the rest of this? That length is doing her no favors. Maybe if this dress didn't have long sleeves in addition to the frumpy skirt length it would be a whole different story, but as it is, one of the sexiest women on AMC looks like the major of Dumpsylvania. What would you do to fix her?

Usual commenting requests apply: play nice and share your toys and later we can all have a snack and a nap.

June 10, 2009

Fug Practice

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TIM DALY: Hey, Kate.

KATE WALSH: What up?

TIM: Our show turned CRAZY this year, right?

KATE: Oh, did it? I didn't really notice.

TIM: Um, yeah. Whatshernuts from Felicity is stealing Judging Amy's baby! It's like Young and the Restless or whatever all of a sudden.

KATE: I had no idea. Taye Diggs is so mesmerizingly good-looking that I sort of go into a semi-coma every time we're at work. What is my character doing? Are WE hooking up?

TIM: No. You're having an affair with this dude who is like a total charisma vacuum. Apparently he infected your wardrobe.

KATE: Excuse me?

TIM: BORING.

KATE: Me?

TIM: It's like you look great from the thighs down and the neck up. Otherwise, SNORE. BOXY SNORE. BOXY SNORE YOU BOUGHT FROM CHICO'S.BOXY SNORE YOU BOUGHT FROM CHICOS THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A TUNIC. BOXY SNORE YOU --

KATE: Enough. I get it. God. You're so irritating.

TIM: But still rakishly rumpled and handsome, yes?

KATE: Just shut up.

May 20, 2009

Cannes Fug-or-Fab Carpet: Penelope Cruz

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Jessica and I were just discussing poor Penelope Cruz's unfortunately timed food poisoning in Cannes, and how after being forced to skip one event because of it, we admire her for bucking up like a good little camper and making the rounds for her other movie. Even if her poker face is maybe not so great.

[Photo: WENN.com]

I feel like this photo says, "I am trying so hard to smile, but oh, Lord, I might still be sick. I am wrapped in a giant ace bandage and if I don't hold onto this desk I am going to fall down and vomit all over the floor and that's why I didn't wear a necklace -- because they always flip forward when you're hanging over the toilet and you end up puking on your jewelry -- and someone had better give me a bonus for even being here today because I WANT TO DIE."

She didn't look like she felt much better at the nighttime event:

Continue reading Cannes Fug-or-Fab Carpet: Penelope Cruz.

Results tagged “BORING” from GoFugYourself

Fug or Fab or Unfug: Halle Berry

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Ugly Fugly and Fug or Fab, America Ferrera

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VMAs Fug Carpet: Amanda Bynes

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Solo Fug

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Fugloe Fugvigny

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Unfug It Up: Eva Green

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The Big Fug Theory

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Unfug It Up: Christina Hendricks

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Fug Practice

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Cannes Fug-or-Fab Carpet: Penelope Cruz

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