Results tagged “Dancing With The Stars” from GoFugYourself

August 26, 2009

Fugging With the Stars

I might be wrong -- it happens almost daily -- but it seems to me that Debi Mazar is too famous to be on Dancing With the Stars. I mean, she has an actual job on Entourage. (Unless they've killed her off or something; I stopped watching two seasons ago once I realized that every time that show has the opportunity for actual interesting conflict, they make the choice to avoid it.)

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[Photo: Splash News]

In addition to being too famous for the show, I feel that she's also too young to be dressing like a special guest star on The Love Boat, whose story will involve both an awkward tap-dancing routine during the dinner service and a semi-comic romantic love triangle involving some kind of misunderstanding that will be easily cleared up by Isaac The Bartender over a couple of Harvey Wallbangers.

July 14, 2008

Dancing With the Fugs

Oh, Karina Smirnoff. I must admit -- even though I always think your name is "Karla" and have to look it up -- I feel for you, girl. I have been reading about your break-up from Mario Lopez for WEEKS and WEEKS and WEEKS in little tiny pieces in the tabs, and surely you are sick of that being the only story floating around about you, too. Ergo:

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Haven't you heard? Unless you're a Vegas cocktail waitress, you either wear the super-short feathered mini OR the cut-to-the-navel top, not both. But this is going to help land you one of those "KARINA/KARLA: READY TO LOVE AGAIN" pieces, and goodness knows, that will be very refreshing for everyone.

Note to Sara Evans:

You're allowed to go up a size.

March 6, 2008

Dancing With The Fugs

What was Shannon Elizabeth doing, going shopping in my childhood without asking me?

Seven-Year-Old-Me is FURIOUS that Shannon stole my parents' oriental rug without asking, because that was MY special cape for my eventual and inevitable coronation and now she's on the verge of RUINING EVERYTHING. If there is no time to get it cleaned before that day arrives, she will be exiled from Seven-Year-Old-Me's kingdom immediately and all her movies will be buried. Which... okay, that part actually might be kind of a relief.

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