Tragically, we just found out that James E. Reilly -- the former head writer of Days of our Lives and the chief scribe on the defunct soap Passions -- passed away at the ripe young age of 60. Anyone who reads this site regularly knows of our fondness for Passions, and Reilly gets the credit. He wrote a show that had: poisoned wedding rings; a mysterious shed that inspired dialogue like, "I TOLD YOU NEVER TO ASK ME ABOUT THE SHED," and of course, "I could NEVER forget The SHED"; talking candles; the disembodied head of Adrian Zmed, wearing a tri-corner hat; a doctor who specialized in every conceivable kind of medicine, including administering lethal injections in prison; kidnappers who dressed up as clowns; a living doll (rest in peace, Timmy); a scene in which a local house was sucked into Hell; a zombie character; a She-Male serial killer who later got pregnant with its own father's child; an army of lesbian nuns; a castration and subsequent botched penis-reattachment that resulted in it being stuck on backwards; countless scenes about how any stimulation of said wonked-up wang would result in DEATH; a whole storyline about how Whitney couldn't sing jazz because her father felt you would never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy than in a JAZZ CLUB; a murder mystery in which character did things like carry around books called How To Murder Your Sister And Get Away With It, or something; a little girl who communicated via cartoon thought bubbles; a witch who Saw Things in her magic bowl; and in the end, a suddenly active volcano in the middle of New England that threatened to destroy the town (spoiler: it didn't).
Reilly also wrote a character for an orangutan. No, really:
Precious was the nursemaid to crazy old Edna, and fell in love with Luis (understandably), which required the actor and the male orangutan -- BamBam -- to shoot a series of elaborate fantasy sequences where Luis was making Precious some banana milkshakes and waltzing with her before proclaiming his love:
There was even one where Precious played Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan. Apparently, the show tried to get Precious nominated for a Daytime Emmy, but they were denied because of some stupid rule that only humans can win. I mean, REALLY. Sigh. That orangutan was dynamite.
Reilly also wrote a character for an orangutan. No, really:
Precious was the nursemaid to crazy old Edna, and fell in love with Luis (understandably), which required the actor and the male orangutan -- BamBam -- to shoot a series of elaborate fantasy sequences where Luis was making Precious some banana milkshakes and waltzing with her before proclaiming his love:
There was even one where Precious played Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan. Apparently, the show tried to get Precious nominated for a Daytime Emmy, but they were denied because of some stupid rule that only humans can win. I mean, REALLY. Sigh. That orangutan was dynamite.
But tragically, we can't find any of those montages on YouTube. What we did find, though, is even MORE historic:
Continue reading Your Fugment of Zen: Days of our Fugs.
