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November 3, 2009

I've Run Out of Variations on Phoebe Price.

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Here's the thing about Phoebe Price:

This photo was taken on Halloween. It SO EASILY could have been snapped on, say, Thanksgiving, or Veteran's Day or National Sandwich Day (which is today, by the way! GO TELL A SANDWICH YOU LOVE IT). I mean, seriously, Phoebe? "Rear Admiral"? Give me a break. That's JV squad material, and you know it. I expected to see you walking up and down Robertson Blvd wearing one pasty with Jon Gosselin's face on it, and one with Kate's face stuck to the other boob, while reading a copy of Star and yodeling. This is like barely even trying, for you. In fact, I'm concerned. Are you depressed? Do you feel unwell? Do you have a brain fog that's preventing you from giving Halloween your all? What is going on here? Maybe you should consult an expert -- I'm sure Bobby Trendy could help.

November 2, 2009

The McFugd Family

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[Photo: WENN.com]

ANGEL MCCORD: I am a freaking GENIUS. Sexy Inmate 50035! Because if you look at the number from a distance, it kind of seems to say BOOBS! HA HA HA!

RACHEL MCCORD: I'm either dressed as Sexy D-List Wannabe, or Bobby Trendy. You decide!

ANNALYNNE MCCORD: The more I keep trying to shove my sisters down people's throats, the more people will start to appreciate me when I show up places alone.

ANGEL: BOOBS!

RACHEL: LOOK AT MEEEE!

ANNALYNNE: That's right, America. I am teaching you to love me, one half-naked sibling hanger-on at a time. BRILLIANT.

November 2, 2009

Happy Fugloween

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You know, maybe I'm not giving the army of Hollywood Sexy Halloween Whatevers enough credit. Maybe it takes rather a LOT of creativity to go as a Sultry Fill-In-The-Blank that people can't entirely figure out; Sexy Pirate, for instance, is really simple. But Jessica Lowndes here wasn't content with an eye-patch and a stuffed parrot, so she hunted all around town for the proper striped socks and corset and sleep shorts, and came up with this:

[Photo: Splash News]

It's the PERFECT ensemble if you want to make bystanders wager martinis with each other over whether you're in costume as the referee at the Lingerie Bowl or you're an ACTUAL Keg Softball umpire who's just taking a dinner break.

This one was more confusing:

Continue reading Happy Fugloween.

November 2, 2009

Paris and Fug

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dialogue,
Halloween

[Photo: Splash News]

PARIS HILTON: You make a hot Tooth Fairy, dude.

DOUG REINHARDT: I know, babe. And you make a really great showgirl.

PARIS: UGH. You think I'm a showgirl? LAME.

DOUG: Huh? Well what are you, then?

PARIS: I'm the refreshing cool mint taste of Colgate Total with whitening agents, for a sparkling and surprisingly tart clean that leaves your teeth sparkling. DUH.

DOUG: You are?

PARIS: HA. No. I don't even know what those words mean. Nicky taught me that sentence.

DOUG: I knew it. Great showgirl costume, babe.

PARIS: UGH. You think I'm a showgirl? LAME.

DOUG: But I thought you...

PARIS: I'm a SLUTTY BALLERINA with a HEADDRESS FETISH. DUH.

DOUG: Sounds like the same thing to me.

PARIS: That's because you're really stupid, dude. You put the "duh" in "Doug."

DOUG: Oh, yeah, and who taught you THAT one?

PARIS: YOUR MOM.

DOUG: I love you.

PARIS: I love YOU. Let's go inside and have sex on the bar.

DOUG: DONE.

November 2, 2009

Fugchel Zoe

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Halloween

Heidi Klum's annual Halloween bash seems like a place where anything goes. I mean, the hostess herself once went as a Hindu deity, and this year she went the whole ten yards and did herself up as what I assume is The Raven.

Looks awesome, but I'm sure after wearing that all night, she could've salted every soft pretzel on sale at Yankee Stadium. Quoth her sweat glands, "Nevermore."

But, Heidi isn't the point here. Rachel Zoe is. And at a party where it appears that you get the whole range of costumes from a whole range of people -- Dancing With The Stars' Mark Ballas did it up as Jason Voorhees, hockey mask and all, and Rick Fox and Eliza Dushku went as Zombie Bonnie and Clyde; on the other end of the spectrum, various CW starlets went as Sexy Whatevers -- this is the best that La Zoe could come up with on the big night:

Continue reading Fugchel Zoe.

November 3, 2008

Celebrity Fugloween

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Halloween

Halloween is such a phenomenal spectator sport. It must take real skill for people like, say, Paris Hilton or Audrina Patridge to figure out how they can show skin and tease up their hair in a different way that could be construed as a costume. Half the C-list gets dolled up as Sexy Angels, Sexy Devils, Sexy Women In Black Corsets And Random Wigs, and Super-Naked Sexy Take On A Random Profession That Usually Does Not Require Visible Navels; mixed in there, you will occasionally get some awesome costumes, but more often than not it's the type of "Yay, I have an actual excuse to show my bra" stuff that we all did when we were 23.

This time, though, full marks for creativity to Ashton Kutcher. If you doubt that he wears the pants in his marriage, I am here to tell you that he is at least SOMETIMES in full be-trousered control. Because he convinced Demi Moore to go with him in costume... as ,according to our image provider (and I suspect it is correct based on the photo) a GIANT NIPPLE:

[Photo: Splash News]

Not only that, but he convinced her to wear puffy flesh-toned leggings AND made her carry the nipple into the club from the car -- apparently, she was too embarrassed to put on the costume while they were in the street. So instead, she buried her head in the pink felt areola. To HIDE. Granted, yes, this is a woman who once wore bike shorts to the Oscars, but those do not look like the actions of a person who is proud to be a nipple. I wish I'd been a fly on the wall of that conversation, when Ashton was like, "Honey, I have the BEST costume idea. But I need you." And Demi was all, "Mmm-hmm, sweetie, sure, can you pass me Parade magazine? I need to study Nicole Kidman's face." So Ashton went, "THANK YOU. Because a giant nipple pillow cannot be borne by man alone," and Demi was like, "Say WHAT? God, what would Marilyn vos Savant think..." and Ashton frowned and said, "That's funny, Cameron Diaz told me she thought it was brilliant..." resulting in Demi clenching so hard she broke three teeth and then did a shot of bourbon before nodding her agreement. Well played, Ashton. It's deliciously tacky, and yet the fact that you pulled this off kind of makes me cherish you deeply.

Speaking of deliciously tacky:

Continue reading Celebrity Fugloween.

Results tagged “Halloween” from GoFugYourself

I've Run Out of Variations on Phoebe Price.

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The McFugd Family

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Happy Fugloween

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Paris and Fug

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Fugchel Zoe

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Celebrity Fugloween

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