Results tagged “Harper's Bazaar” from GoFugYourself

July 9, 2009

Fug or Fab the Cover: Rachel Weisz

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[Photo: Splash News]

Let's talk about this.

  1. She's beautiful, of course.
  2. Does she look a bit...vampiric?
  3. Although vampires are really IN right now.
  4. I like hot pink!
  5. She looks hungry.
  6. FOR BLOOD?
  7. Maybe just for a sandwich
  8. That's a LOT of makeup.
  9. It's a magazine cover, you dolt! THEY WEAR MAKEUP. Besides, she's supposed to be SMOULDERING. What better way to smoulder than via massive amounts of eyeliner?
  10. That's an excellent question.

poll by twiigs.com
Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 01:27 PM in Fug The Cover, Fug or Fab, Rachel Weisz
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April 9, 2009

Fug The Cover: Halle Berry on Harper's Bazaar

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There's been a lot of brouhaha over Harper's Bazaar appearing to Photoshop Halle Berry on its cover. And I get reacting to that with an eye roll and an "Oh, gee, what a shock that people use PHOTOSHOP," because we all know magazines want to sell copies, and what most people actually look like isn't going to do it. If anyone were stupid enough to put me on a magazine cover, I would probably put a "Please Photoshop my face" clause right at the top of my contract.

No, what's MORE interesting to me is that whatever Harper's did or didn't do, it yielded a cover of Halle Berry that's mind-bendingly awful.

halle_harpers.jpg

Let's set aside for a second the fact that the ENTIRE thing is the color of a sunburn and makes me want to go bathe in aloe. Why would you want a cover of one of the world's hottest women, only to pick one in which she looks like a very cheap Halle Berry impersonator wearing a Jaclyn Smith wig she picked up from K-Mart? What's next? Photographing Angelina Jolie in a full mask? Putting a wig on a stick and calling it Nicole Kidman?

With any luck, by the time that happens, I'll already have gone blind from staring at this cover too long. It's like gazing directly at the sun. Everywhere I look now, I see angry all-caps words screaming at me from hot-pink backgrounds. Pray for me. And SAVE YOURSELVES.

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 12:20 PM in Fug The Cover, Halle Berry
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September 11, 2008

Fug or Fab the Cover: Kiki Dunst

Fug file:

kikiharpers.jpg

Well, well, well. What have we here? Could it possibly be the first HB cover in eons that I've looked at and thought, "Hey! I totally am going to buy that!" (Airport bookstore, here I come. Although I still haven't read my September Vogue. It's like almost too heavy to hold up to read. I have carpal tunnel, Anna. I can't deal with your 11-pound baby anymore.) It helps that I have a fondness for Kiki D, despite her penchant for showing up places looking like she got conned into wearing the worst dregs of a church jumble sale. She just looks so HAPPY. And while I know that the red lipstick can be a bit much, I think she's pulling it off. It helps that her smile is so distinctive, so the lipstick isn't wearing her as much as it might wear other people. Plus, I am a fan of swimming in jewels. Aren't you?

poll by twiigs.com
Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 10:30 AM in Fug The Cover, Fug or Fab, Kirsten Dunst
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June 6, 2008

Well-Played Cover: Gwyneth Paltrow

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Well, well, well. Would you look at that? For the first time in approximately 12,000 years, I don't hate the Harper's Bazaar cover. I still hate the way they lay out the copy (for some reason, that font and layout makes it seem like there's no SUBSTANCE to the magazine at all, like it's a fake rag you'd see in the background of some fluffy rom-com where Reese Witherspoon is the editor-in-chief of a bridal magazine but -- gasp! -- can't find a man herself ), and the sort of weird boob-sling/armpit-draping is....weird, but she looks like herself. She doesn't appear to have a wasting disease or any extra limbs. She is the color she is supposed to be and not orange like a traffic cone. Her head does not appear to be Photoshopped on. Those are probably her own teeth. She's not wearing chain mail, or hot pants, or knee-socks over her ears. There are no cloying quotes floating around her head, like "Life is so simple now! Thanks to my staff of twelve," or "I know now that I can do anything! Because I have all the advantages and money in the world." She just looks relaxed, and pretty. I'd like to buy some of that.
Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 10:28 AM in Fug The Cover, Gwyneth Paltrow, Well Played
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