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November 17, 2009

Fugerate Housewives

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Well, this is FESTIVE:

I feel like this dress will be worn all over the world by a certain subset of ladies to holiday parties -- some of them accessorizing it with light-up earrings in the form of trees -- and by a couple of women who work for the Tournament of Roses and are extremely committed to the concept of thematic dressing. And while it will be IDEAL for those specific ladies, I don't know that this whole Ruched Sleeves Ahoy look is going to set the night on fire for the rest of us.

October 8, 2009

Fugla Patton

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Paula Patton wore this the day after she donned this recently fugged number, so clearly it was a very heady and crazy time for her. I look forward to the day her cheesy husband Robin Thicke writes an irritating slow jam all about watching her get dressed in crazy stuff and wanting to stop her.

Perhaps in person this was ravishing, and the photo doesn't do it justice, but when I saw it I shuddered:

She looks thoroughly upholstered. Between the sleeve and the matching handbag****, it's a LOT of pattern. I'm going to start calling her Paula Pattern. HA. HILARITY. I will pause while you stitch back together your splitting sides.

**** Well, hot damn, my eyes deceived me, it IS a ruffle. I thought it was a clutch she was holding vertically. That ... well, it's still too much, like the dress has a floral tongue.

Maybe not much can be done that isn't pure fantasy, but I think the entire thing would be improved vastly without the sleeve and with a clutch that evokes the color of the shoes. Or even ANY solid color. I feel like the floral is salvageable, but she just needs it to be less aggressive on the left half of her body. After a while it starts to look a bit like cheerful gangrene.

What would you do? Add a second sleeve? Change the neckline altogether? Keep the mono-sleeve but change its shape? Nothing? Everything? Chat it up in the comments. Keep it on-topic, keep it clean, keep it friendly, keep the faith, love will keep us together.

September 25, 2009

Fuglinda and Fuglinda

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Okay, look. I get that we're doing the One Sleeve thing now, but COME ON:

This seriously looks like something from Two-Face's new line of ladies' wear for Kohls.

September 23, 2009

Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Rebecca Creskoff

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See, this is why trainers tell you to work out both arms evenly:

You don't want to end up with one arm Bluto-bloated and in need of its own annex.

September 21, 2009

Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Kim Kardashian

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Kim Kardashian is certainly toned, and she is definitely very pretty. And for all I know, maybe she's a royal diva, the kind that only eats orange M&Ms that aren't visibly touching any other color, refuses to use the bathroom unless there are rose petals in the bowl, and sups only on the juices of her own melodrama. I don't know her life.

But I do know that she seems to be trying to convince us she's Jennifer Lopez. And you, Kim Kardashian, are no Jennifer Lopez. For one thing, you didn't even bring a prop scarecrow in a tux. I mean, REALLY.

September 17, 2009

Fugyness Deyn

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Holy Sleeve(s) Batman

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Agyness Deyn:

Top model, sleeve aficionado, and emo Prince Charming for hire: She'll rescue you from the tower and then write a song whining about how love totally killed her hamstrings.

September 16, 2009

Fugsley Mortimer

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It's about time designers built flotation aids into their clothes. We're due for another Biblical flood and apparently only animals are allowed on the damn rescue arks.

September 14, 2009

VMAs Fug Carpet: Jennifer Lopez

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Holy Sleeve(s) Batman

"Meow, amigos. I am an intergalatic sex kitten, coming to you from Planet Rrowr to blow your mind. HA HA! I'm kidding! It is I, Jenny from the block! Assuming your live in the tool shed on my estate because otherwise we have no block for miles. Also, get out of my tool shed! That is for the lawn mower and my Marc's embalming kit for his Learning Annex class! LEAVE!

"Where was I? Ah: Me. For that is who I am. Everyone tonight is wearing BORING dresses with BORING tops and BORING patterns. Nobody has vision. Nobody picked a sleeve harness that required three employees, two pulleys, and a helper monkey to put on their bodies! That is COMMITMENT, all you single ladies! If you liked it then you should've put a sleeve on it! Follow me, sad people, and I will show you the way. But first I need to take Marc home. He smells like anti-freeze. Ay, mi enamorados, some days I have to put gardenias up my nose just to get through breakfast with him. In fact, a secret: These are not sleeves at all. They are giant pot-pourri bags! I AM A GENIUS! And now I must pretend to go inside before diving into my limo and going somewhere better. Adios, dull-sleeved peasants!"

September 3, 2009

Daytime Emmy Awards Random Fug: Rachel Zeskind

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It's little wonder I've never heard of Rachel Zeskind.

Until today, no one had seen hide nor hair of her since her job as the hostess at the incredibly ill-conceived and unpopular Sea World Sushi Lounge.

April 16, 2009

Fugryn Manfug

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Wow, it's apparently National Sleeve Day up in here. Congratulations to Camryn Manheim on coming in for a safe and successful landing:

[Photo: WENN.com]

Later, I hear there are plans to take her to the park and fly her like a kite.

Results tagged “Holy Sleeve(s) Batman” from GoFugYourself

Fugerate Housewives

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Fugla Patton

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Fuglinda and Fuglinda

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Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Rebecca Creskoff

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Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Kim Kardashian

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Fugyness Deyn

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Fugsley Mortimer

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VMAs Fug Carpet: Jennifer Lopez

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Daytime Emmy Awards Random Fug: Rachel Zeskind

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Fugryn Manfug

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