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November 9, 2009

Fug Lieutenant: I Don't Feel Like Looking Up the Bad Lieutenant Subtitle

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So, can we assume that Eva Mendes has flown the Rachel Zoe coop? Because no matter what you may say about RZ -- insert a lengthy screed here that includes the words, "literally," "I die," "skinny," "bananas," "sandwich," and "caftan" -- I don't know that she would actually do this to anyone:

Sister, that is a lot of sideboob and while I'm not opposed to the sideboob in theory, like a nuclear warhead it must be deployed with great caution and only in the most serious of circumstances. Sure, that level of boob poking out from a button-down is fine if you're in a shaving cream commercial wearing your husband's shirt and gazing at him while he shaves, thus proving that Mac117 or whatever not only removes hair from one's face but is also A BABE MAGNET. And it's fine if you're playing the role of Teacher in any kind of Hot for Teacher Scenario. And of course it works when you're in the midst of shaking out your hair and taking off your glasses in a ploy to elicit a, "why, Miss [Whatever], you're BEAUTIFUL" in a B-movie from back when people said things like,"why, Miss [Whatever], you're BEAUTIFUL." But I think Eva here would be well-served by maybe buttoning ONE more button. Because instead of being sexy, from the front this thing turns into kind of a mess:

Continue reading Fug Lieutenant: I Don't Feel Like Looking Up the Bad Lieutenant Subtitle .

October 26, 2009

Women's Murder Fug

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I Don't Get It,
WTF

This is perplexing to me.

Sometimes at Fashion Week, any number of publications will run articles in which they ask designers what inspired their collections, and those articles are always entertaining, because the answers are usually like, "sweat, humidity, and grime," or "that moment between waking and sleep: ethereal dream fog," or "the futility of our meaningless existence. Also, oranges." And then Michael Kors will pop in and be like, "pretty ladies on yachts!" and you realize that, even if he is extremely tan, at least that man is honest. I really want someone to grab Angie Harmon and ask her what the inspiration was behind this outfit. My guess would be, "avant garde Robin Hood," or "ponchos meet prosthetic-limb boots," or even, "DESPAIR."

October 19, 2009

UnFug or Fab: Jaime King

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I can't quite figure out what's going on with Jaime King here:

Seriously. Could you please help me with this? Is this good? Is it bad? Is it right? Is it wrong? Is it so wrong it's right? Is it so right it's righteous? But, more important, WHAT IS IT? Personally, I think that if her hair were less distracting, I might love the dress...and if the dress wasn't as busy, I might appreciate the hair. Did I pick the wrong week to stop smoking crack?

poll by twiigs.com

October 14, 2009

Olefugga

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Julia Stiles is ALIVE, you guys!

[Photo: WENN.com]

I was so worried. Sometimes I'd lie awake at night, wondering if the humiliation of being in Down to You had finally done her in. But no! Hale! Hearty! Employed! Wearing the wee costume of a tiny junior ice-skating champion who was misguided enough to perform Blair Waldorf: A Tribute for her free skate, but still! ALIVE!

October 8, 2009

Leigh Fugzark

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WOW.

WHAT is HAPPENING here? I feel a bone deep and profound, dizzying confusion, the sort you're supposed to call your doctor about if it happens while you're on medication. Let's take stock. We've got:

Sheer leggings, through which I can see panties.
A sheer tunic-y top, though which I can see bra.
An enormous gray felt BRA with giant, attached embroidered SLEEVES, which are PINNING HER ARMS TO HER SIDES. That CAN'T be right, can it? I mean...that's not possible. That can not be true. So, maybe it's...
A...weird-ass cape?
The ugliest vest IN THE WORLD?
Uh? I.... No, seriously. I really can't figure it out. I haven't been this confused since Alegbra II. SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME.

October 7, 2009

Leifug Lezark

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Well, I may have figured out what Leigh Lezark does for a living.

It would appear she's starring in an interpretive dance production of Felix The Cat, in which the titular character sells his soul to Satan and audience members are encouraged to huff superglue during intermission. Although, how any of that got her invited to Chanel's Spring 2010 show in Paris -- or why that show took place near a "Riding Off Into The Sunset" cowboy-themed senior prom photo backdrop -- is as yet unclear.

October 5, 2009

Fug, Where's My Car?

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Surely, this dress Kristy Swanson is wearing stemmed from some kind of bet:

Like, I can see two designers -- who perhaps went to FIT or Parsons together -- having a long-standing routine in which one calls the other and challenges her to create a seemingly impossible garment. Like Project Runway, but crazier and without the celebrity judges and product placement. This dress was clearly born when Designer One called Designer Two and said, "bet you can't make an armed-forces themed evening dress with a can-can influence in which you could be rendered invisible should a sand storm kick up, and get someone to wear it." GAME ON, DESIGNER ONE.

September 28, 2009

Unfug It Up: Katie Cassidy

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I can't remember if we've discussed this on GFY yet, or just on our Twitter, but the new Melrose Place is seriously pretty good, especially Katie Cassidy here:

In addition to looking very Amanda Woodward 2.0, she sort of acts like Amanda Woodward 2.0, although she hasn't yet shamed anyone into alcoholism or suicide. I look forward to her interactions with Amanda Woodward: Original Flavor once Heather Locklear makes her sure-to-be-triumphant return to the building. Speaking of which, I was just thinking last night that Amanda Woodward is totally the Don Draper of the early '90s. Think about it: extremely good at advertising; sleeps around (occasionally for work purposes but often just for fun); can not be bested by mealy-mouthed, bratty underlings (Allison/Pete) regardless of the effort put into said weaselly machinations; concealing a secret and unflattering past; dabbles in intermittent substance abuse; in an office full of people wearing suits, is easily the hottest; has noteworthy hair. If this pattern holds true, then I fear season four of Mad Men is going to involve Joan ripping off a wig and then blowing up Sterling Cooper, after Roger Sterling accidentally-on-purpose kidnaps Peggy and she sort of likes it. Just to forewarn you.

But Miss Cassidy here, while seriously pretty awesome on MP, needed a little styling help over the weekend, am I right? I actually don't mind either halves of her look independently. It's just that together they make a total Fashion Plates moment, making her look as though she's had a terrible accident where the top half of her body has been mistakenly grafted onto someone else's bottom half, which, as I understand it, happens all the time.

Now, if I were her stylist, I would have just given her...wait, this isn't about me. What would YOU do? (Remember, please be nice and stay on topic.)

September 23, 2009

Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Anastasia Griffith

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So, this is totally confusing to me:

If you're wondering where you've seen this actress, she plays Rose Byrne's fiance's sister on Damages, and she's pretty good. And according to Wikipedia, her brother is Jamie Bamber of Battlestar Galactica, so....that's an attractive family right there. But I would just like to state for the record that I do not understand why a dress that is designed to look like the bodice is made of two saucily placed ribbons is an entirely good idea. Unless, of course, the plan is for your evening to end with said ribbons unfurling at an apt moment. But a) these can't ACTUALLY unfurl, thus throwing a wrench into that plan, and b) suddenly appearing topless at the Emmys is a ploy best left to those without paying jobs.

September 21, 2009

Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Sarah Silverman

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So, I think we can all agree that this was a mistake, right?

I mean, the color is great but the last time this particular silhouette was flattering on a woman, her name was Glenn Close and she and John Malkovich were playing an increasingly dangerous game of seduction while she was wearing a corset and her hair had a ship in it. If you're not wearing the period-appropriate undergarments with your panniers, then you just look like your hips are suddenly as bizarrely wide as a beam, and if you are wearing said period-appropriate undergarments, then you are probably going to pass out and/or people are going to think you are KA-RAZY because you're running around dressed like you've recently escaped from the set of Dangerous Liaisons II: Get Dangerous! In other words, Sarah, we're thrilled you're not wearing jeans and a ripped sweatshirt and playing with your gum as usual, but this was an exceedingly weird choice. In fairness, I admit that I will never understand why Sarah Silverman seems to feel the need to downplay how cute she is by generally dressing like a hot mess at events, when the fact is that she's created an entire comedic persona around the (completely tired) idea that it's funny when a cute girl says something shockingly crass/crassly shocking. Doesn't it therefore follow that she should generally look adorable, as part of her branding? It's not like she's Charlize Thereon, who might worry that her stunning beauty will get in the way of being cast in a serious role. Her whole DEAL is that she's cute, and therefore it's HILARIOUS if she calls someone a word I won't use on this website because my mom reads it. I actually don't agree with this as a comedic concept in the least, but she seems to buy into it, so why doesn't she ever try to LOOK BETTER? THAT'S THE WHOLE CRUX OF HER ENTIRE DEAL!!

And it makes me shouty.

Results tagged “I Don't Get It” from GoFugYourself

Fug Lieutenant: I Don't Feel Like Looking Up the Bad Lieutenant Subtitle

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Women's Murder Fug

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UnFug or Fab: Jaime King

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Olefugga

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Leigh Fugzark

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Leifug Lezark

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Fug, Where's My Car?

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Unfug It Up: Katie Cassidy

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Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Anastasia Griffith

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Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Sarah Silverman

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