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November 16, 2009

Unfug It Up: Blake Lively

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Ah, good ol' Boobs Lively. She never disappoints.

Boobs Lively is a fairly apt nickname. They ARE lively. She has great boobs. Let's be frank: The world would see a lot more of mine if they were that awesome. But I'm not sure I'd do it in a top that's quite so "Excuse me, Groomsman No. 3, but the Mother of the Bride would like to see you in ladies' room. Bring champagne, LEAVE THE PANTS."

Of course, I highly doubt anyone in a wedding party, however voracious her appetite for spry man flesh, would have finished the outfit thusly:

Continue reading Unfug It Up: Blake Lively.

November 10, 2009

Fug or Fab: Rihanna/Take A Fug

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Leg City

There apparently is part of me that's JUST OCD enough that I see Rihanna's dress dragging on pavement, and I think, "AAAH. It's going to be DIRTY and RUINED."

[Photos: Splash News]

It would be a shame to have this thing pocked with brown spots before it even makes it inside the Glamour Woman of the Year awards. Part of me is in love with the crazy architecture. But another part of me thinks it looks like dramatically wayward office clutter -- a Seussian filing nightmare. And what is the point of that pocket? It's so tight and tiny, you can't actually keep anything in there unless you want everyone to see what it is. Okay, MAYBE a couple bucks for the bathroom attendant. But if you want to keep your lip gloss there, everyone is going to think you have a strange cylindrical pelvic tumor.

So I can't decide: fab drama, or fugtastic Alice-style adventure through the bottom of a bourbon glass on the Mad Hatter's desk?

I am much more clear on my feelings about another recent RiRi gown:

Continue reading Fug or Fab: Rihanna/Take A Fug.

September 29, 2009

Sophie Fugk

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Coming soon to a theater near you: The Tear-Away Bride, starring Sophie Monk as a fabric-shy commitment-phobe who rips off a piece of her wedding dress every time she jilts someone, until one day her crotch pops out and points itself at Mr. Right.

It could be a franchise:

Continue reading Sophie Fugk.

September 22, 2009

Emmy Awards Post-Party: Amanda Righetti

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Leg City

Amanda Righetti here has found her way onto The Mentalist, which is a pretty sweet gig for her -- mostly, all her character does is get left at the office to do elaborate top-secret Google searches, and yet she gets to be on the No. 1 show on television.

However, she really needed someone to mentalize her a better dress -- preferably one that doesn't look like she stole it from the dude in charge of gladiator funerals at the Colosseum.

Parenthetically: You are not fooling us, Ms. Amanda. We all know full well you are trying to make a point of how high that slit is -- why else would you have you leg stuck out and cocked at such a jaunty angle? Is it not enough that your skirt is slit up to your hips on both sides? You have to PROVE it? Did someone insult your thighs as a child? Oh, Mentalist, how suavely you would get to the bottom of this psychological minefield, if only you were real.

September 22, 2009

Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Mary-Louise Parker

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So, I stopped watching Weeds right around when Nancy Botwin decided it would be a good idea to traipse around Tijuana dressed like a prostitute. I mean, Mary-Louise Parker has a great body and all, but when you're smuggling illegal drugs across the Mexican/US border, maybe you ought to consider looking a bit less conspicuous.

However, I'm beginning to wonder if an excessive attachment to whipping out the gams is a Nancy Botwin affectation, or if it's a trait of Mary-Louise Parker's that has bled from fact into fiction. Behold:

This dress is cute. I like it. She's in great shape (she's 45! She looks ten years younger -- thanks perhaps to Botox, in part, but still!). This could totally work...for a cocktail party. Or a movie premiere. And even then, perhaps it would be better on someone very young, like Vanessa Hudgens young, because it smells a bit cutesy for me with the bow. For the Emmys? On a grown-ass woman? REALLY? I don't think so.

September 22, 2009

Emmy Post-Party Fug-or-Less-Fug: Blake Lively

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.. Okay, I'm thinking Blake didn't really understand Leighton's point here. Which, granted, was made in the course of a fictional conversation, but still:

It's BETTER, in some ways, but if you're going to flash just as much of yourself, why bother changing at all? I suppose her boob-pits might've gotten chilly, or her left leg became violently jealous that the right one was on display; maybe her shoulders were so convinced that linebacker is totally hot for fall that they refused to cooperate unless she dressed them accordingly. Either way, I think I'd have liked this better if it were EITHER longer, or had a higher neckline. And the fact that the one thing she KEPT was the pigtail-braid... I haven't seen a rope that frayed since gym class.

That being said, at least these clothes appear to FIT. Which, given most of the stuff she's wearing in her GFY archive, is a huge step forward.

poll by twiigs.com

September 10, 2009

Alexfugra Burke

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"Hello, everyone!"

"Welcome to the Motel Thighs, Leg City's finest establishment for by-the-hour comforts! Naturally, our HBO is free."

July 30, 2009

Fug or Fab: Chloe Sevigny

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Sometimes I like to just post these and make you vote without saying ANYTHING that could possibly bias you to vote either with or against me.

So I will just state a fact -- that C. Sev's legs are SERIOUSLY GREAT and her trainer needs to write a book -- and open your polling place:

poll by twiigs.com

July 17, 2009

Eva Fugford

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I am distressed to see that Eva "Changed Her Last Name To Marcille But I'm Not Buying It" Pigford is blowing her Young and Restless paycheck in the toddler section of Gymboree.

[Photo: WENN.com]

I don't care how leggy it makes her look. That thing is meant to be worn on a hot summer day by a pig-tailed moppet, not a Pigford strumpet who is still wearing her arm bracelet from last night's club.

It also tweaks me that Eva has reverted to the blonder hair color Tyra Banks picked for her, because Tyra has as stellar a record with makeovers as I have pitching no-hitters in the big leagues. But I AM deeply amused that Eva has found herself a purse that looks about as much like a hair weave as those nasty-ass things Tyra forces her models to get. In fact, I would not be at all shocked to turn on ANTM 13: Shorties On Parade to find that exact purse being sewn to some poor 5'7"-or-under girl's head, about 23 minutes before she struggles in the photo shoot and then is cut for a) not being able to pretend she's tall enough to model, and b) not understanding how to rock a cranial handbag.

July 3, 2009

There's Only So Many Way You Can Insert "Fug" Into "Kate Moss"

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lace,
Leg City

Listen.

[Photo: Splash News]

At a certain point, why even bother with shorts? Just go out in your boots and bed-jacket and be done with it.

Results tagged “Leg City” from GoFugYourself

Unfug It Up: Blake Lively

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Fug or Fab: Rihanna/Take A Fug

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Sophie Fugk

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Emmy Awards Post-Party: Amanda Righetti

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Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Mary-Louise Parker

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Emmy Post-Party Fug-or-Less-Fug: Blake Lively

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Alexfugra Burke

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Fug or Fab: Chloe Sevigny

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Eva Fugford

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There's Only So Many Way You Can Insert "Fug" Into "Kate Moss"

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