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October 14, 2009

Fug The Cover: January Jones

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GQ,
Mad Men

Again, much like with Maxim, I get that the point of this cover has absolutely nothing to do with January Jones' face.

And when you have someone as delicately beautiful as January is on Mad Men, I understand roughing her up and making her edgy and bad-ass because it plays against her alter-ego, and thus Joe Schmoe at the newsstand might buy the magazine because he's pretty sure she's the kind of girl who will do naughty things with his tire iron. But none of that explains why GQ chose this particular angle on her face, which I don't think works to her advantage. She looks menacing, kind of clunky, and vaguely tired, none of which she is -- well, okay, she might be tired. I don't know her life. At least the advertised story on where to find the best coffee in America could help her with that. Hey, wait, maybe THAT'S why GQ chose this angle on her face. Brilliant! Forget I said anything.

August 4, 2009

Unfug It Up: Christina Hendricks

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I'd say Christina Hendricks looks much improved since the last couple of times we've seen her, but I have a SERIOUS BIRD PHOBIA and I really can't even examine this too long:

From staring down here at her feet -- WHERE IT'S SAFE -- I would argue that she could maybe use a marginally higher heel, but what do I know? I'm in the fetal position over here. I need the visual equivalent of a mega-dose of Xanax. I know I've got something for that...where is it....?

Continue reading Unfug It Up: Christina Hendricks.

June 15, 2009

Unfug It Up: Christina Hendricks

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I just seriously do not even know what to do with Mad Men's Christina Hendricks. She looks amazing on the show and then in real life, she looks like this:

Her face, at least, is great -- that is, of course, the saving grace of the majority of celebrities featured herein, that even if they're wearing two potato sacks and a recycling bin, their genetics continue to be kind to them -- but hoo boy, what is up with the rest of this? That length is doing her no favors. Maybe if this dress didn't have long sleeves in addition to the frumpy skirt length it would be a whole different story, but as it is, one of the sexiest women on AMC looks like the major of Dumpsylvania. What would you do to fix her?

Usual commenting requests apply: play nice and share your toys and later we can all have a snack and a nap.

March 25, 2009

Fug or Fab: Christina Hendricks

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Oh, jumpsuits. Will you ever go away?

Don't answer that question. The truth of the matter is that Christina Hendricks here looks pretty good in said jumpsuit, which surprises me in that (a) I always assumed that the jumpsuit was best suited for the very tiniest of our female brethren, (b) her boob-wrangling track record is not the greatest, although of course she is herself quite a dish. That being said, I must admit that I am scared of what this looks like from other angles. As we've learned from Poor Sad Jessica Simpson: Child of Tragedy, the BACK of the jumpsuit is often where things fall apart. And yet I have no shot of the rear view. Which means I must give the thumbs up or down based solely on instinct.

poll by twiigs.com

January 28, 2009

Fuggie Siff

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There's something really refreshing about actresses who repeat their fancy dresses -- I mean, if Angelina Jolie did it, I'd be sort of shocked, because she could buy and sell Spain three times over and still have change. But by and large, it's a welcome spot of normalcy, especially in these trying economic times when many of us are balking even at buying shoes.

So I applaud former Mad Men actress Maggie Siff for (theoretically) saying, "You know what, screw it -- I like this dress, I already have it, and I don't want to shell out a bunch of cash for something new."

It's just unfortunate that the dress she's repeating is one that Jessica fugged her for back in October, because time has not made it look any LESS like a shiny orange satin cupcake. In fact, it has only served to increase my cravings for an orange cupcake of some ilk.

Maybe Maggie has a plan. Maybe she thought that Jon Hamm might see her around the ballroom, mistake her for an elaborately upholstered beanbag chair, and take a seat to rest his delicate plates. If I find out that plan worked and that Maggie spent an hour with Jon Hamm in her lap. I am going to run right out and buy one of these myself.

** Oh, bless, apparently the Mad Men revue she's performing in above was ALSO performed in October, hence the repeat outfit. So now the question is: Whom is she bribing in order to GET them to dress her like a potential Hamm-enticing beanbag chair?

January 9, 2009

Fug Men and Fug City 2

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JANUARY JONES: Phew. I made it.

JESSICA ALBA: Me too.

JANUARY: I ran all the way from the valet. Can you tell? I feel bedraggled.

JESSICA: Your hair is a little....yeah. I can tell.

JANUARY: Well, so's yours!

JESSICA: What on earth are you talking about?

JANUARY: The bangs...and the....rest of it. You sort of look like my first grade teacher, circa 1981. She made her own flax seeds.

JESSICA: IT'S FOR A PART.

JANUARY: Does that explain your dumb-ass pants?

JESSICA: You look like you got attacked by a beaver with a sleeve fetish!

JANUARY: I AM ON A VERY CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED TELEVISION SHOW.

JESSICA: I....okay. You win.

JANUARY: I hate it when we fight.

JESSICA: Let's go find the bar.

October 23, 2008

Mad Fug

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When I first saw this pic of Mad Men's Maggie Siff, I admit that I wondered if she were actually in costume:

But then I realized that her character, Rachel, is way too elegant to ever wear what is essentially a shiny orange satin cupcake with a brooch in her hair and matching shiny orange shoes. I wonder if she had some kind of bet with the Mad Men costumers. Like, she bet that she could go a week without showing off her very unladylike parlor trick of sticking her entire fist in her mouth, and they took that bet -- I may be drawing from life here, but in my case, I bet I could go THE REST OF MY LIFE and I'm still winning, and, yes, I am aware that I only win this bet upon my death, but my estate is really counting on that ten bucks -- but she couldn't hold out late one night on set after many faux martinis and clove cigarettes and now look at her. I feel you, Maggie. I really do.

August 26, 2008

Fug Men

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Bryan Batt is great on Mad Men.

But that's nothing compared to his burgeoning career as a model for the new "Tommy Bahama: Weddings" catalog.

August 25, 2008

Mad Fug

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Ooookay. January Jones always looks so beautfully prim on Mad Men that, I admit, it's kind of a shock to see her like this:

From the neck up, she's all Whimsy McRetro, but from there down, she's seriously hardcore Heidi Montag. And I ask you: DOES THAT SEEM LIKE A GOOD IDEA? DOES IT?

I didn't think so.

July 23, 2008

Fug or Fab: Christina Hendricks

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Like so many people, I LOVE Christina Hendricks as sassy Joan on Mad Men, who has men and women alike smitten by her curvy charms. She looks terrific on the show, with her bold red lipstick and flaming hair, and so I always desperately want to love what she's wearing off-set -- I mean, I've got hips, I've got a touch of the strawberry in my hair, and I'm a fair-skinned wench. I could take pointers, right?

Or maybe not.

On one hand, the concept of the dress is interesting, with the sparklies and the pleats, and having a fan pinned to your boobs is kind of like built-in air-conditioning. On the other, I don't think it was such a hot idea to match the burnt-orange color to her hair AND her eye-shadow, because it just makes her look kind of puffy-eyed and tired. Plus, that dress is just BEGGING for some idiot at the party to spend the night tugging on the pleated panel to see if it makes the fan swing back and forth.

poll by twiigs.com

Results tagged “Mad Men” from GoFugYourself

Fug The Cover: January Jones

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Unfug It Up: Christina Hendricks

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Unfug It Up: Christina Hendricks

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Fug or Fab: Christina Hendricks

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Fuggie Siff

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Fug Men and Fug City 2

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Mad Fug

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Fug Men

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Mad Fug

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Fug or Fab: Christina Hendricks

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