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November 9, 2009

Kenzie Fugton

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[Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY: Kenzie. Don't look up. Stare at the ground.

KENZIE DALTON: Why, Chad?

CHAD MM: Because.

KENZIE: That's a bad reason. If I stare at the ground, no one will see my face, and then I'll never get in Us Weekly and our whole mystifying 4-year engagement will be for NAUGHT.

CMM: Look, everyone already thinks I'm a douche, okay? I just don't want them to think I am in any way associated with those pants. Or that refried Carrie Bradshaw flower on your coat.

KENZIE: You're being annoying. Am I old enough to drink yet? Because I need one.

CMMMMMMMMM: Just hurry, okay, before anyone recognizes us.

KENZIE: No, Chad. Stop. You're denying America your special gift. Do you really want to skulk anonymously through the night, just because it looks like a small child ran with scissors directly at my pants? Do you? Is THAT the kind of man I'm marrying?

CM-SQUARED: Well, but we're never ACTUALLY getting married, are we?

KENZIE: LOOK UP AND DO WHAT YOU WERE BORN TO DO, or else I will wear these pants every day.

C-DOUBLE-M: FINE. I'll do it.

Continue reading Kenzie Fugton.

October 9, 2009

Fug or Fab: Sophia Bush

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You guys, I'm so glad One Tree Hill is back. Seriously. I miss Chad Michael Murray's squints of judgment/joy/sorrow/fear/ambivalence, but it's still juicy. Murderous grave-immolating heart-eaten-by-a-dog Dan Scott is a life coach! He's married to ex-drug addict and semi-trashy cheerleader (and former classmate of both his children) Rachel! Nathan may or may not have impregnanted a ho one night on the road with his NBA team! Robert Buckley is charming and sometimes shirtless! Jana Kramer is hilarious as a shallow movie star! Skills hasn't gone to prison yet in real life and so he's still being all awesome with little Jamie! Brooke Davis has a hot boyfriend for the first time in two years! Haley's hair color is totally wrong! Mouth is... never mind. But suffice it to say, I'm glad the secret greatest show on television is entertaining me anew.

Which is more than I can say for Sophia Bush's dress. Nice transition, eh? No? Well, too bad, so sad -- which, again, is something I might say to Sophia Bush if she asked me about this outfit.

I know that's a pretty negative intro for a Fug or Fab, but here's why the post is filed thusly: This MIGHT be very pretty. But it's hard for me to judge the dress on its own merits, because something about it is so very wrong to me on Sophia. Maybe it's the styling: Loose hair flowing into shoulder ruffle flowing into large ruffled skirt equals a whole lot of STUFF. There's no grace, no neck; it's all shoulders and floppy bits. The judging panel of America's Next Top Model would be horrified, before complimenting her on her ability to "smize," and yes, Tyra has invented her own contraction for "smile with your eyes." I KNOW. It's only a matter of time before she buys Webster's and puts out a dictionary all her own.

Back to Sophia: I don't think the dress works in motion, either:

Continue reading Fug or Fab: Sophia Bush.

August 17, 2009

One Tree Fug

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So, Ashley Rickards here was part of the team over at One Tree Hill last season -- see, someone over there must have had a beef with Sophia Bush, because for the past two seasons she's spent more time sniffling over how badly she wants a baby (at the ripe old age of 22) than sticking her tongue down the throat of any nubile love interests; ergo, one of Sophia's plots involved her taking in a foster child in the form of a surly-with-a-heart-of-god teen played by Ashley.

[And of course -- SPOILER -- it ended in tears because Ashley's character learned her mother was trying to find her, and she decided she wanted to go live with her mother so they could bond, and she left, and there was sobbing and sniffling and tragedy and poignant farewells... despite the fact that her mother LIVES ELSEWHERE IN TREE HILL. Like, y'all, Tree Hill is not Manhattan. It's not even the Manhattan of North Carolina. YOU WILL BUMP INTO EACH OTHER. Probably at the supermarket. Also, there is e-mail. And texting. Get with the times, people. You could've saved yourselves a lot of puffy eyelids if you'd just been like, "Hey, e-mail me and we'll get coffee." COME ON. And how bad is her mother at finding things, anyway? You live in the same square-inch of the state. Did she really want to go live with a woman who was that stumped as to where she might be? Thank you, readers, for letting me work through these issues.]

AHEM. To catch up: Ashley R. = Sophia Bush's former TV foster child.

Although now that her arc is ending, it seems she's in line to play the Lily Tomlin hick twin in a remake of Big Business. Hopefully this one ends with her getting back together with her adorable fiance, who was portrayed as the Tiger Woods of small-town mini-golf. Because you do not let a dude go who can shoot the ball through the windmill every single time, and when putt-putt takes off on ESPN 45 or whatever in about 10 years, you want to be on those coattails.

June 22, 2009

Fug or Fab: Sophia Bush

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Everyone knows we totally think Sophia Bush is lovely and God knows we're jealous that she gets to make out with dreamy Austin Nichols on One Tree Hill, although this entire past season was FULL of terrible things happening to her including a bizarre through-line in which she quasi-adopted not one but two different children (although one of them was nearly her age, and that storyline actually turned out sort of awesome) and also spent like A LOT of time moaning about how badly she wants to be a mother, which I totally respect, but her character is TWENTY-TWO and it seems like maybe it's a little UNREALISTIC for a 22 year old multi-millionaire media mogul-ess to be SUPER worried about that. Like, you have time, honey. Go make out with Austin Nichols some more. On the other hand, this is a show in which one character has had TWO mothers die on her and was also kidnapped on prom night by a psychotic who was pretending to be her brother, and Chad Michael Murray is supposed to be brilliant author. So maybe I should not expect realism. Especially since its lack of realism generally turns into things that are AWESOME, like the time brother-killer and grave-immolator Dan bought himself a giant headstone in preparation for having his bum heart give out and kill him (which hasn't happened yet and hopefully never will), and said hilarious headstone has been trotted out numerous times to be abused by other characters, with, like, shovels, and whatnot. It's awesome. Anyway: let's talk about the relative awesomeness of this dress:

[Photo: Splash News]

My gut instinct is that it gets a bit short there. To the point where a very inappropriate pun involving her last name popped into my head, which I will not share with you because this blog is rated PG-13. Usually. If the slit on the dress were shifted a bit to either side, I think we'd be in business, because on the whole, I think this is potentially cute. It just doesn't seem to fit her exactly right.

poll by twiigs.com

May 22, 2009

Fug Tree Hill: A Farewell To Fug Michael Fugly

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One Tree Hill

Since it's Friday, and another week is winding down, I don't feel bad going a little off-topic here. Just as we have mourned the passing from our Earthly plane of Estelle Getty and Bea Arthur, we thought we should grieve for the televisual loss suffered early this week when Chad Michael Murray appeared in his final episode of One Tree Hill.

CMM delighted/horrified us over the years with terrible hair and and an acting repertoire consisting mostly of a squint for every occasion: for when he gets dumped, for when he gets laid, for when he found out his father killed his uncle, for when a dog ate his father's about-to-be-transplanted heart off the hospital floor (a video of which you'll find after the jump)... you get the idea.

And El Squintano did not hold back on his last days of work. He squinted when gazing "fondly" upon his wife and baby daughter:

He squinted when contemplating the glories of a freshly made root-beer float in a hospital room:

And he squinted when reminding himself to believe in the magic of the world:

I know because I was there, and he said right before he made this face that he still believes in the magic of the world. It ranked right up there with the time he noted that the River Court is where he does his best healing.

But the best part is, the show clearly appreciates this about him enough to give him a squint legacy. Behold, the juxtaposition of Lord Squintsworth and the adorable little baby they cast to play his daughter:

Continue reading Fug Tree Hill: A Farewell To Fug Michael Fugly.

January 23, 2009

Fug or Fab: Sophia Bush

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I feel like I was writing about Sophia Bush LAST Friday, and, indeed, I believe I was. Thursday night must be the night of the week she sets aside to go to an event. She is literally the only person on One Tree Hill who goes to random hotel openings and fancy events anymore, so I wonder if she brings back extra goodie bags for the rest of the cast. Her character is currently making out with Austin Nichols all the time (in addition to taking in a conveniently abandoned local teen, the better to Learn and Grow as a Person, which is really not that much of a plot when you consider that Chad Michael Murray scored second billing in The Return of Dawson Leery storyline, which I am not ashamed to say is AWESOME and Van der Beek is actually really funny) and if that were me, I would never leave set -- PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT -- but I guess someone's got to run out and replenish the cast's store of mini-bottles of booze and free copies of random local publications. Anyway, here she is at the opening of some hotel in Atlanta (um, maybe the W? Just a guess):

I love me some orange, but there's something about this that reminds me of the paper tops they give you at the gyno. I think it's the cut of the sleeves. I mean, admittedly, this would be a TREMENDOUSLY FANCY gyno -- mine NEVER gives me a belt, for one thing -- but it's mildly off-putting. On the other hand, the color is kind of great and usual on her, and I love the shoes (though maybe not with this). Maybe if it were a hair longer? I'm not entirely sure.

poll by twiigs.com

January 16, 2009

Fug or Fab: Sophia Bush

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Sophia Bush has had a good couple of weeks on One Tree Hill: her character has both pistol-whipped a murderer AND made out with Austin Nichols. Nice work if you can get it. And I am rather fond of her in general. Which may be clouding my judgment here:

She looks pretty....but this is essentially a sheet, right?

poll by twiigs.com

November 19, 2008

Gossip Tree Fug Girl

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For the sake of my forehead wrinkles, I need to stop venting about Little J and The Haircut (although I might name my first imaginary band that; my second one, which clearly will shoot to great fame and fortune, will be called Andrea Zuckerman's Famous Pig). Seriously, it looks worse week-to-week -- at this point, if you told me she'd shampooed with undiluted rum and then bent over in front of a candle, causing the whole thing to go up in a fiery conflagration, I would believe you. They need to get her a wig, or chop it off into a pixie cut and start over, or put a bag over her head for a month. It's bad.

Thankfully, my distraction on Gossip Girl this week came in the form of Ms. Serena Van Der Woodsen herself. As if the indignity of having to act interested the shaggy, blandly self-absorbed charisma void that is Aaron Rose, our girl S had to strut around her penthouse in this little number:

Tragically, the photos from my TV screen don't do justice to how terrible this looked. But even Chuck Bass -- he of the tiny man shorts and countless turtlenecks -- appears to be judging her for the awkward tightness, and the awkwardness of the tights. She seems SO UNCOMFORTABLE, too. I mean, that is not only short, but it's bunching up with every step. Poor Blake clomped around the set as if she was afraid her crotch might fly out at a moment's notice.

It's made even worse by the CW bug appearing right over her crotch, as if to draw attention to how hella-unflattering the skirt is. May I remind the Gossip Girl costumers again that this is BLAKE LIVELY, who is dreamy of figure? Is it that impossible to dress someone who isn't a size 00? Are they in league with the Ghost Whisperer people? And why, exactly, did Serena think her party-girl past needed to be such a secret from her foul new boyfriend if she was going to run around to TWO family Thanksgivings dressed like Ronald McDonald's favorite call girl?

I mean, come on. That's just not fair to her.

What IS fair, though -- to the universe -- is the existence of this:

Continue reading Gossip Tree Fug Girl.

September 23, 2008

How I Fugged Your One Tree Gossip Mother

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Oh my god, it's so nice that fall television is back. At LAST, something to entertain me other than my own thoughts. For example, I've missed the stylings of one Mr Chuck Bass:

Don't mind the strange orange reflections in these photos. Think of it as the glowing light of the sun on Planet Misguided. For example, while no one -- NO ONE -- loves smarmy, delicious Chuck Bass more than I do...why is he wearing a purple suit? With a bow tie? And slicked back hair? I get that Chuck is kind of retro (for lack of a better word) but I fear that by the end of the season, he's going to show up somewhere in a beanie with a propeller on top.

That would improve SOME PEOPLE'S looks, though:

No wonder Vanessa looks so depressed. Her hair appears to have been caught in a tragic vacuum accident and could only be rescued by emergency surgery performed with an Exacto knife. Although, she might also be sad because she's so very stupid. Everyone knows that when you find out the dude you like is accidentally kind of a prostitute who is sort of also involved in a faux-incestuous love quadrangle, you LET BLAIR HANDLE IT.

Speaking of bad hair, I just wanted to let you all know that I think Chad Michael Murray has given up on his head-hair and is now playing around with his facial hair:

At one point last night, I looked up from my Lucky Magazine to see this and I might have actually screamed, "IS THAT A MUSTACHE?" I think it's actually a goatee, but his upper lip seems to be beating his chin in the hair-growing contest. Because what CMM's character really needs is to be able to stroke his goatee whilst pontificating on how hard it's been to have two-to-three women pining for him at all times, all while balancing his career as a novelist/basketball coach with a father who's currently being held hostage by a crazy nanny who has prevented him from getting his heart transplant. Also, I suspect his eyebrows are making a run for each other.

And while we're on the subject of heart problems, this almost gave me an infarction last night:

Continue reading How I Fugged Your One Tree Gossip Mother.

September 10, 2008

One Fug Hill

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You can not IMAGINE my excitement when I saw Manfaced Lindsay from One Tree Hill in person at the tents today! (And that's not me being mean. The show has actually CALLED HER Manfaced Lindsay. That's too funny not to adopt.) You remember Lindsay! She's Chad Michael Murray's book editor who he almost married but she left him at the altar because she realized that he's still in love with Peyton after she read his second book which was all about how he's still in love with Peyton, which will make an awesome sequel to the first book of his, about how he's still in love with Peyton. So he's all, "I do," and she was all, "for maximum dramatic impact, I will break up with you now," and ran out and then everyone forgot because Baby Jamie was KIDNAPPED by his evil nanny who is NOW holding Jamie's evil, brother-murdering, grave-immolating grandpa hostage as revenge for rescuing the kid in rather awesome fashion. Anyway, she's on Law and Order: Sports Utility Vehicle now, but she'll always be Manfaced Linsday to me, even though her face is actually not manly. Or WILL SHE?

Fine! Slouchy Lindsay it is! Good luck prosecuting the bad guys with that terrible posture, kid.

Results tagged “One Tree Hill” from GoFugYourself

Kenzie Fugton

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Fug or Fab: Sophia Bush

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Fug Tree Hill: A Farewell To Fug Michael Fugly

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Fug or Fab: Sophia Bush

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Fug or Fab: Sophia Bush

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How I Fugged Your One Tree Gossip Mother

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