Results tagged “The City” from GoFugYourself

November 13, 2009

Fug City

Every time I watch Olivia Palermo here on The City, I want to smack her. Whenever she's at her job for Elle, she acts like she's doing everyone there a favor by gracing them with her presence, AND she totally isn't backing that up with awesome work. Instead, she seems like she's completely half-assing that job and nothing makes me MORE ANNOYED than someone with a great job who just sort of does the bare minimum and then acts put upon when her coworkers are pissed that she's phoning it in. I've worked with people like her and they always made me want to whack them across the back of the head with a three-ring binder. (Although I must say that I think one of the reasons The City is more interesting to me than The Hills is that The City focuses much more on people's careers -- at least as much, if not more, than their relationships, whereas The Hills is SOLELY about people's almost completely scripted relationship dramas. Not that I'm not interested in relationship drama, trust me, but on these shows, said drama generally consists of people having UTTERLY OBLIQUE conversations that are nearly in code, and then staring blankly at the horizon. So watching Kelly Cutrone waltz into her office on The City like the head bitch in charge that she is, whipping everyone's lazy ass into shape and having no sympathy for their juvenile and possibly fictional issues, is totally satisfying. NO ONE on The Hills even GOES to work and therefore seemingly has no interest in doing ANYTHING with her life other than maybe hooking up with Brody and it's SO BORING. GET A GODDAMN JOB, GIRLS, as R. Kelly would say.) Anyway, where was I? Right. Olivia: a maddening coworker. BUT: she is insanely good-looking and has great hair and usually is beautifully pulled together. So THIS is particularly surprising:


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Sweet sausage biscuits, what have we here? Sequined tap pants, an Asian-inspired belted vest, and granny's cardigan. This is the sort of thing that happens when you're picking out your ensemble after a bender of prescription muscle relaxers, boxed wine and deep-fried HoHos. I hope it goes without saying that my most fervent wish is for this kind of thing to become a habit for Olivia, so that I can look forward to seeing her on the finale of The City wearing, like, denim cut-offs, a Bedazzled coconut bra, an Elizabethan ruff and a cape.

November 5, 2009

Erin Fugcas

Erin Lucas is doing a bang-up job getting herself on people's invitation lists, considering she only made it through one season of The City before being deemed too boring to continue deciding to leave. But she might want to try making a bit MORE out of those opportunities:

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[Photo: WENN.com]

I mean, I'm pretty sure Erin got those slacks by aisle-jacking a flight attendant who is three inches shorter than she is. Come fly her fugly skies.
October 28, 2009

Brothers and Fugsters

There is one aspect of Roxy "I Popped Up on Brothers and Sisters Again This Week, But That Can't Be Because Mom and Dad Work There" Olin's outfit that I LOVE:

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Her Diet Coke.

October 21, 2009

Fug City

So, we got to go to the Lucky Magazine/Madewell jeans party last night, and it was extremely entertaining. Any party that features wee tiny sandwiches is aces in my book, as you all know, not to mention the fact that it's refreshing not to be a constant shut-in. Anyhoodle, it was full of the kind of cute girls who are in Lucky as a matter of course and at one point, from behind my pile of mini-grilled cheeses, I saw Erin Lucas -- who you may know as Whitney's roomie on The City last season, with the bangs -- float by. And I turned to my friend and said, "Hey, there's Erin who used to be on The City, with the bangs," and then we thought no more of it. BUT! I wish I had paid better attention to her outfit, because today, I was presented with irrefutable evidence that it was THIS:

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[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

The other day, someone found GFY by searching for the phrase "PROM CAFTANS," and now that I've seen this, I'm concerned that might actually be A THING. PLEASE DON'T MAKE THAT A THING, AMERICA.

September 16, 2009

Fuglivia Palermfug

Don't get me wrong, I love a good suit on a woman. But this is not a good suit.

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The jacket and the pants are too similar in color not to match -- like, either go different, or the same, but not so mildly off that it looks like half the outfit faded at the dry cleaner. I'm not enamored of the pants being floods, either. She just looks schlumpy and hungry and wan in it, and I'm sure the yellow shoes are supposed to cheer me up and make me forget about how limp the rest of it is, but that's not working -- something about their sheen evokes recycled French's Mustard bottles.

Which is to say, I don't like what she's wearing. At all.

September 14, 2009

VMAs Fug Carpet: Whitney Port

The other day I put Freida Pinto's Christopher Kane dress to a vote, and 57 percent of you decided it was Fug Central. So I'm curious to know how you'll feel about Whitney Port's frock from the same line:

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To me, it's worse. At least Freida's promised to hold itself up; Whit's is perilously close to freeing an imprisoned nipple, and it almost looks unfinished, like there was supposed to be a top built around that support garment but the designer ran out of time. And don't get me started on how These Kids Today sit down in skirts like that -- makes me wonder if the transparent layer is actually necessary as some sort of sanitary liner. I'm waiting for the day somebody makes a gynecological minidress with a full-on toilet-wrap dispenser attached. You know it'll happen. Hell, Lady Gaga probably has three of them in different colors sitting in her basement lab.

August 21, 2009

The Fugty

Now that Erin Lucas has quit The City, she needs to find other ways to get attention.

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Dressing as Madonna's handmaiden from 1983 is a good start.

August 7, 2009

Fug City

I have to say, I am sort of looking forward to this season of The City. If only because I know at least once per Monday night, I will get to turn and ask a houseplant, "WHAT IS WHITNEY WEARING?"

Like when THIS shows up:

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[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

For the love of sweet Italian sausages, tell me that is a joke. Tell me that old Whitney here got stuck overnight in a Chico's -- kind of like in Richard Peck's seminal 80s teen novel, Secrets of the Shopping Mall, but with potentially fewer zombies -- and was forced to fashion an appropriately youthful ensemble out of the sale rack before she was allowed to regain her freedom. Tell me she lost a bet. Tell me this is a terrible, terrible gag being played on her by someone at MTV who had to stoop to the use of hardcore, mind-altering drugs to pull it off. Tell me this season focuses on a surprisingly hard-hitting and grim storyline in which MTV decides Whitney must pay for her own apartment and clothing, and ergo she ends up homeless living in Central Park by episode three, forced to steal outfits from tourists she knocks out with an empty bottle while they're picnicking. TELL ME THIS WASN'T A CONSCIOUS DECISION ON HER PART.
You know, between the satin sleep shorts and the crowns of flowers and all the terrible pants/leggings/tights atrocities Whitney Port has committed over the years, it's easy to forget she's actually a tall drink of water. So presumably she decided to remind us:

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[Photo: WENN.com]

I love this on her -- it's simple and elegant and flattering, three words that I don't believe I've EVER used to describe one of her ensembles. Somewhere, her City rival Olivia Palermo is sitting at home, brushing her hair 200 times in front of her mirror, wondering how easy it is to get away with arson, or whether she can arrange for Whitney to be standing next to Spencer and Heidi at the EXACT moment of their inevitable smiting from on high.

June 8, 2009

Fugly Port

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[Photos: Splash News]

I know what you're wondering, looking at this. You're thinking, "I wonder who's texting her." Well, thanks to the miracle of modern technology, I can tell you. The computer wizards here at GFY HQ intercepted a series of texts between Whitney and her mother, which I exclusively present to you here:

MAMA PORT: Whitney. Go home and put on some pants. My god.

WHITNEY: What R U talking about? I'm WEARING pants.

MAMA PORT: Those aren't pants. So ashamed right now.

WHITNEY: I bought them @ Bergdorfs. Says "TAP PANTS" right on the box.

MAMA PORT: TAP PANTS ARE UNDERGARMENTS.

WHITNEY: ????

MAMA PORT: YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO WEAR THEM OUTSIDE.

WHITNEY: How can U even C me?

MAMA PORT: Please use complete words when you text me.

WHITNEY: Fine. How can YOU even SEE me?

MAMA PORT: It's called THE INTERNET. Have you SEEN your rear view?

WHITNEY: I don't have eyes in the back of my head, Mom.

MAMA PORT: Find a mirror. I'll wait.
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