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January 27, 2009

Fugsha Bartfug

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While Intern George cheerfully shaved off his mustache the other day, we here at GFY HQ were discussing how one of the celebrities we'd most like to make over in 2009 is Mischa Barton. If there were a Shut Up, Tights ARE TOTALLY Pants Union, she'd be the president of the Los Angeles chapter (with Shenae Grimes serving very capably as her veep) and making a very respectable play for an international leadership role.

So we are at least pleased to see that, even on a day so cold that the lady behind her is covering her mouth with a scarf (unless she's simply overcome with the stench of wasted potential that emanates from Mischa like she's a real-world Pig Pen), Mischa may finally have put those tights in the laundry basket -- or even the Salvation Army pile:

[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

This dress itself might even be an improvement. The color is daring. The beading is intricate. The fringe flanking all that detail even works. If this started two or three inches higher, and extended two or three inches lower, it might be profoundly adorable. Unfortunately, though, she suffers from whatever disease causes Rumer Willis to wear only strapless dresses that barely cover her nipples -- Attention-Deprived Areolae Syndrome, or something. And unfortunately for Mischa, her right nipple got its immodest wish:

Continue reading Fugsha Bartfug.

October 27, 2008

Happy Hallowfugs

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Allegedly, Rachel Bilson is wearing this because she went to a Halloween party in costume as a hippie. Which is a huge relief, because at first, I thought, "DEAR GOD NO. Rachel Bilson would never wear those pants SINCERELY unless she had gone blind."

[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

I mean, right? But I suppose there's always a possibility that she's NOT in costume, and only drew on the tattoos as a cover for her real purpose: president of the "Dumpy Is Humpy" subcommittee at the Mischa Barton/Aubrey O'Day fan convention and group wedding. But since you never see her and any of her old O.C. co-stars together -- least of all Mischa -- I'm assuming the hippie explanation is the real one. That's a big "phew" all around.

January 14, 2008

Well Played: Rachel Bilson

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Can't we all just PRETEND that yesterday the Golden Globes went off as per usual, and we all got the red carpet shenanigans as per usual, and Rachel Bilson showed up wearing this?

And then we all said things like, "Did you see Rachel Bilson at the Golden Globes? She's so pretty!" and "I just loved Rachel Bilson's Golden Globes dress," and "I think Rachel Bilson showing up at the Golden Globes in that white goddess-y dress was really a turning point in her career, don't you?" Let's just pretend that happened, shall we? Excellent!

July 13, 2005

Entourfug

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Oh my God, Samaire Armstrong, what happened to your scalp?

Remember how, in Rosemary's Baby, she ran out one day and went to Vidal Sassoon and got all her hair chopped off, and everyone was sort of feh about it, and kept telling her she looked like a boy and the truth was that her hair was kind of totally great, but she just looked like hell because she was carrying the Child of Satan in her uterus and was thus in great psychic AND physical pain? Yeah, you look like that. Except without the "kind of totally great part."

Girl, you need some more hair.

June 7, 2005

The Fug.C.

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On the Olsen scale, with 1 being "adorably quirky" and 10 being "homeless, deranged, and overly swaddled," Rachel Bilson is quickly approaching a 7 -- which roughly translates to, "Unauthorized use of layers/ill-advised dash of Brat Pack Envy."

Her co-star Mischa Barton isn't faring much better. Although she's eschewed the popular "wear everything resemblng anything" approach to getting dressed, she has veered sharply into Don Johnson's closet:

The linen pants, were they the right size, could pass. But with those two matching, reedy suspenders that are about as helpful to the trousers as her skin is in covering up that collarbone... well, they are something of a baffling, baggy problem. Hopefully, the bags Brandon is pretending he enjoys carrying all contain garments that don't make her look like she is a pair of designer waders and a bait hook away from her very own bass fishing calendar.

March 2, 2005

Oscar Post-Party Fugshion: Mischa Barton

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metallics,
The O.C.

[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb.]

Mischa Barton seems not to realize that when you're going to an Oscar party, you don't have to dress like Oscar's sister. Although maybe she got the dress from the gift bag -- it certainly looks like the kind of gold cellophane wrap that would line a vat of expensive freebies.

Mischa's sister, incidentally, looks amusingly humiliated.

February 22, 2005

The Fug Sense

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There's 80s Retro Chic and then there's "caught in a Whitesnake video."

Even Brandon looks perplexed.

January 4, 2005

At Least She's Not Wearing THE HAT

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My dear Mischa,

I thought you said your New Year's Resolution was to wear fewer sequins.

Giving up so soon? Or was this photo snapped prior to the first of the year, and this is your Farewell to Sequins swansong? In which case, way to go out with a bang, sweetpea.

I admire your sense of adventure, fashion-wise, but don't you think this might be a little bit much, you know, for a beach cover-up? Maybe it's a little....clash-y? I mean, there's a lot going on there. You look a little bit like a slot machine, all bright blinking lights and distracting spangles and sparkly trim.

I must admit, however, that your ice cream cone looks divine. Chocolate-dipped cone? Well played, my dear. Well played, indeed.

December 8, 2004

Welcome To The Fug Blog, Bitch, II: The Fuggening

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Thanks to the efforts of one our helpful -- and, in this case, extremely brave -- readers, we can now present the entire horror of Mischa "Marissa Cooper Dresses Funny" Barton's misguided, bow-encrusted previously mocked fashion atrocity:

Behold, the ill-fitting trousers. I've seen sexier pants on the PGA Senior Tour:

And the piece de resistance, The Bow:

Continue reading Welcome To The Fug Blog, Bitch, II: The Fuggening.

December 6, 2004

Welcome to the Fug Blog, Bitch

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Regular readers of Go Fug Yourself are aware that we generally only feature fugly ensembles that celebrities have put together for themselves, or with the help of stylists, for personal appearances or premieres or trips to the 7-11 for Cheetos, Britney. But sometimes there will appear on the televised landscape an ensemble so truly heinous, so utterly unspeakable, so completely ungodly that we can not, in good conscience, stay silent. Ladies and gentleman, I present to you Mischa Barton:

[Photos from http://www.theoc.blogger.com.br]

I only wish I could have unearthed a screencap which gave you a full length view of those pants. Which had tapered legs. And were basically jodhpurs. Jodhpurs! Paired with what appears to be Seinfeld's infamous puffy shirt, worn under a sweater vest (!!), adorned by an enormous broach. Be grateful, however, that I have spared you a full shot of the newsboy cap -- an accessory I considered a welcome casualty of the end of Sex and the City -- which featured an enormous green satin bow on the back. An enormous green satin bow so enormous and satin and green that I have no idea what Mischa Barton and the Yard Guy were talking about during the scene in which said bow was revealed, because I was so fixated on it's enormity, satinness and greenitude.

I suspect the dialogue was something along the lines of:

Mischa: I am incredibly wooden.
Yard Guy: I am the only actor in Hollywood more wooden than you are.
Mischa: I know, it's amazing they found someone with less affect than me.
Yard Guy: Am I supposed to look distraught here?
Mischa: I don't know. I just look as blank as possible all the time.
Yard Guy: Do we make out now?
Mischa: I don't care.

There is but one explanation for this outfit, and it is that the costume person for The OC has a jihad against Mischa Barton, stemming from some terrible crime Ms Barton has committed against said costume person, like burning down the costume person's house, or killing her dog in a ritual sacrifice and drinking its blood in the middle of the FOX commissary. If this jihad is not addressed by the powers that be over there at The OC, I suspect we may eventually be forced to endure a scene in which Marissa shows up at an event wearing jams and a Fez.

Results tagged “The O.C.” from GoFugYourself

Fugsha Bartfug

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Happy Hallowfugs

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Well Played: Rachel Bilson

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Entourfug

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The Fug.C.

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Oscar Post-Party Fugshion: Mischa Barton

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The Fug Sense

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At Least She's Not Wearing THE HAT

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Welcome To The Fug Blog, Bitch, II: The Fuggening

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Welcome to the Fug Blog, Bitch

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