Search Results

November 20, 2009

The Fuglight Saga: Fug Moon

Fug file:

Dear Nikki Reed:

It's called "going up a size," and it's totally legal.

October 27, 2009

I just wrote this whole post about a picture of Amy Winehouse, and then I realized I needed to put the photo itself after a jump because, in addition to not being safe for those of you with a sensitive aesthetic sensibility, nor is it safe for work.

BEWARE. DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU. (Also: you've seen worse so don't be TOO scared. I mean, a little fear is good. Invigorating, even. But we're not talking a trip to Downstairs Ladyville. It's not THAT NSFW. But it is PRETTY unsafe for...oh, just make sure your boss isn't standing behind you and look.)

Continue reading Fughab.

October 16, 2009

Fugdan

Fug file:

This is just so SUBTLE.

So UNDERSTATED. Gosh, I hope people don't stop paying attention to her! What if no one SEES HER? What if no one NOTICES HER? THE HORROR.

September 21, 2009

Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Thomas Jane and Patricia Arquette

Fug file:

PATRICIA ARQUETTE: I maybe should have gone up a size on my bodice.

THOMAS JANE: What are you talking about it? I LOVE IT. Your cups OVERFLOWETH.

PATRICIA: Yeah. I know. It's totally uncomfortable. My nipple is seriously about to make a run for it and I haven't taken a full breath since 11 a.m.

THOMAS: So?

PATRICIA: So I might PASS OUT, buddy. This top is literally cutting into me.

THOMAS: HOT.

PATRICIA: You're so unhelpful.

THOMAS: WRONG. I am awesome. Did you see me on the red carpet?

Continue reading Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Thomas Jane and Patricia Arquette.

August 6, 2009

Fug Kisses

Fug file:

Dude. Sister. Here's a suggestion. Maybe you should just stay home and lay low for a little while:

You're going to get mobbed by the paparazzi right now, and -- may I be frank? I don't really care what your answer to that is, by the way -- you look like hell lately (especially in comparison to how you looked on the cover of Glamour, just a few posts down). Nothing is fitting properly, you seem to be too bummed out to put on any makeup, and your hair has clearly been plunged into the depths of a seriously deep depression. I get it. You're HEARTBROKEN. So STAY HOME and have a Greek marathon while eating a whole box of frozen jalapeno poppers, like a normal person. THIS IS ONE INSTANCE IN WHICH GOING OUT AND GETTING LOADS OF ATTENTION WILL NOT HELP YOU.

Also, is that Spencer Pratt wielding a camera over your left shoulder? Because Spencer becoming a paparazzo would be make for kind of an amazing arc on the next season of The Hills. MTV, you can make the check out to "the Fug Girls." You're welcome.

(PS: It so happens that Heather and I JUST wrote a piece about Post-Breakup Fashion Dos and Don'ts -- using Miss Simpson here as an example of someone who needs the advice. And that was before I even saw this picture. Now I feel like she needs the help more than ever. Anyhoodle, you can read it at the Lemondrop blog, if you like.)

(PPS: As long as I'm pimping other things, you can ALSO follow us on Twitter.)

(PPPS: I don't really have anything else to tell you. This is turning into a written version of the voicemails I leave for people, where I just yammer and yammer.)

(PPPPS: We got an email the other day that informed us that only old people leave voicemails. I don't believe that, because I feel like if you call and hang up on me, then you were just calling to chat anyway and I don't have to call you back, whereas if you really need to talk to me, you'll tell me so.)

(PPPPPS: La la la la. I should just publish this post now, right? Sorry about all that.)

July 21, 2009

Efugabeth Banks

Fug file:

Okay, Elizabeth Banks. What HAPPENED?

[Photo: Splash News]

With the hair and the roots and the weirdly shiny and taut face.... you look like Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore, thrown in a blender along with the clearance rack of off-size clothes at Contempo Casuals. Hell, you look like the entire Grey Gardens press tour, but shot out of a cannon. GET HELP.

June 16, 2009

Gossip Fug/Well Played, Blake Lively

Fug file:

TELEGRAMS FROM THE DESK OF JESSICA MORGAN
GO FUG YOURSELF HQ WEST

As dictated to Intern G. Clooney.

TO: BLAKE LIVELY
RE: CDFA AWARDS DRESS

MUCH IMPROVED STOP THANK GOD YOU FINALLY PICKED SOMETHING THAT FITS PROPERLY STOP LOVE THE PINK STOP DON'T STOP STOP BUT STOP STICKING YOUR HANDS IN YOUR POCKETS LIKE THAT STOP IT'S AWKWARD STOP LIKE I SAID PLEASE STOP IT STOP LOVE JESSICA POSTSCRIPT WHY DON'T PEOPLE SEND TELEGRAMS ANYMORE QUERY I KNOW IT'S BECAUSE OF EMAIL BUT THEY'RE SO ROMANTIC STOP I THINK I'LL SEND ANOTHER STOP.

TO: MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG
RE CDFA AWARDS LOOK:

Continue reading Gossip Fug/Well Played, Blake Lively.

June 10, 2009

Dancing with the Fugs

Fug file:

Dear Lil' Kim:

Please never change. I mean that metaphorically. At some point, you should probably take this off before you get a yeast infection.

June 10, 2009

The Fugs

Fug file:

So, I have to admit that I personally am kind of stoked that Kristin Cavallari is joining the cast of The Hills. I loved her on Laguna Beach and I really appreciate that kind of relaxed shit-stirrer vibe she has. Like, she has no problem riling people up, you know? But she does it the way I would order a latte: totally, totally calmly, like it's something she does every day and she knows she's about ten minutes away from getting exactly what she wants and she just has to wait patiently for it to be handed to her. Whereas, say, Spencer Pratt riles people up the way I would walk into a cloud of killer bees: screeching and screaming and waving his arms around like a little girl. I know K. Cav introduced Spencer and Heidi whilst she was dating Brody, and I admit I really hope that while she's working on luring Brody away from his crazy current girlfriend she takes a moment to inflict some soft-scripted power play on Spencer that will bring him to his knees in the span of about fifteen seconds because I seriously think she could do it, mostly because I think she realizes Spencer is ridiculous and she isn't scared of him the least, whereas he sort of freaked out LC on a regular basis (which I can kind of get). HOWEVER, this has got to go:

[Photos: Splash News]

Sweet pea. That's just too tight. And look at the rest of it:

Continue reading The Fugs.

June 8, 2009

Fugly Port

Fug file:

[Photos: Splash News]

I know what you're wondering, looking at this. You're thinking, "I wonder who's texting her." Well, thanks to the miracle of modern technology, I can tell you. The computer wizards here at GFY HQ intercepted a series of texts between Whitney and her mother, which I exclusively present to you here:

MAMA PORT: Whitney. Go home and put on some pants. My god.

WHITNEY: What R U talking about? I'm WEARING pants.

MAMA PORT: Those aren't pants. So ashamed right now.

WHITNEY: I bought them @ Bergdorfs. Says "TAP PANTS" right on the box.

MAMA PORT: TAP PANTS ARE UNDERGARMENTS.

WHITNEY: ????

MAMA PORT: YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO WEAR THEM OUTSIDE.

WHITNEY: How can U even C me?

MAMA PORT: Please use complete words when you text me.

WHITNEY: Fine. How can YOU even SEE me?

MAMA PORT: It's called THE INTERNET. Have you SEEN your rear view?

WHITNEY: I don't have eyes in the back of my head, Mom.

MAMA PORT: Find a mirror. I'll wait.

Continue reading Fugly Port.

Results tagged “a size too small” from GoFugYourself

The Fuglight Saga: Fug Moon

Fug file:

Fughab

Fug file:

Fugdan

Fug file:

Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Thomas Jane and Patricia Arquette

Fug file:

Fug Kisses

Fug file:

Efugabeth Banks

Fug file:

Gossip Fug/Well Played, Blake Lively

Fug file:

Dancing with the Fugs

Fug file:

The Fugs

Fug file:

Fugly Port

Fug file:

Search

Fug Favorites

Featured Fugger

The Book of fug

Subscribe to GFY