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November 9, 2009

Kenzie Fugton

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[Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY: Kenzie. Don't look up. Stare at the ground.

KENZIE DALTON: Why, Chad?

CHAD MM: Because.

KENZIE: That's a bad reason. If I stare at the ground, no one will see my face, and then I'll never get in Us Weekly and our whole mystifying 4-year engagement will be for NAUGHT.

CMM: Look, everyone already thinks I'm a douche, okay? I just don't want them to think I am in any way associated with those pants. Or that refried Carrie Bradshaw flower on your coat.

KENZIE: You're being annoying. Am I old enough to drink yet? Because I need one.

CMMMMMMMMM: Just hurry, okay, before anyone recognizes us.

KENZIE: No, Chad. Stop. You're denying America your special gift. Do you really want to skulk anonymously through the night, just because it looks like a small child ran with scissors directly at my pants? Do you? Is THAT the kind of man I'm marrying?

CM-SQUARED: Well, but we're never ACTUALLY getting married, are we?

KENZIE: LOOK UP AND DO WHAT YOU WERE BORN TO DO, or else I will wear these pants every day.

C-DOUBLE-M: FINE. I'll do it.

Continue reading Kenzie Fugton.

November 6, 2009

MTV European Music Awards Fug Carpet: Leona Lewis

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When I first saw this photo, I thought, "I guess that's sort of an interesting cocktail dress Leona is wearing."

And then. AND THEN:

Continue reading MTV European Music Awards Fug Carpet: Leona Lewis.

November 5, 2009

Erin Fugcas

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Erin Lucas is doing a bang-up job getting herself on people's invitation lists, considering she only made it through one season of The City before ~~being deemed too boring to continue~~ deciding to leave. But she might want to try making a bit MORE out of those opportunities:

[Photo: WENN.com]

I mean, I'm pretty sure Erin got those slacks by aisle-jacking a flight attendant who is three inches shorter than she is. Come fly her fugly skies.

October 14, 2009

Paula Abfug

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"That's right, American Idol producers. I'm the tiny serving of meat in a Snoop and Adam Lambert sandwich -- the $5 in this particular foot-long -- and one of them is wearing velvet and the other has on Lagerfeld gloves, and yet I STILL look the weirdest. You are going to miss the hell out of me, bitches."

October 8, 2009

Lady Marmfuglade

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Happy Birthday, Mya!

We're THRILLED to see that NASA has accepted your application for astronaut training. However... I don't know how to tell you this, but your left breast has grown eyelashes. Let's all join hands and pray that Mammarial Mascara Syndrome is not a medical condition that would keep you on the ground. Personally, I don't see the harm in one of your boobs winking while you're floating around enjoying the lack of gravity, but then again, I'm not a rocket scientist.

October 2, 2009

Fuggaback Girl

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I know that whatever a woman wears to take her kids on a hike is her own private business, generally speaking. But... you guys, I just had to make sure I am not hallucinating these pants.

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

You're seeing tie-dyed harem leggings too, right? Are those even actually TECHNICALLY harem pants? What is the term for pants that are tight on the legs but have enough room in the crotch to hide Gwen's other child? Why do we live in a world where such a noun is necessary? Crotch-slings? Knee bags? Pantaballoons?

Also: Whenever I see anyone in pantaballoons like these, I wonder how they do not drive themselves insane wearing them. They're built to replicate the feeling of having your pants fall off as you're walking. Incidentally, I saw that happen to a guy on Ventura Blvd. He was strolling along with low-rider pants, and with each step they sank lower and lower until they finally fell off his ass and started flopping toward his knees, exposing his boxers. He kept right on going as if nothing had happened. Maybe HE'S the guy who pioneered pantaballoons.

July 29, 2009

Lfug Bosworth

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[Photo: Splash News]

HillsLC: Audrina, R U there?

BoobzAplenty: yes just went 2 gym wazzup

HillsLC: Lo keeps wearing those jeans. Barneys salespeople almost fainted.

BoobzAplenty: did she tuck something into it

HillsLC: YES

BoobzAplenty: ewwwwwwwwww

HillsLC: IT IS BAD IT MIGHT BE CARTOON BUGS

HillsLC: Whoa, caps lock. My phone sux.

BoobzAplenty: so do her clothes

HillsLC: I know. I'm trying not 2 walk next 2 her becuz it would damage my cred.

BoobzAplenty: do the pants still have that stain

HillsLC: YES on the thigh. Tried 2 get her 2 buy new pair but she laughed and bought shoes instead.

BoobzAplenty: tell her those pants won't get her screen time

BoobzAplenty: 2 do that she's gotta nail brody

HillsLC: OMG right?

BoobzAplenty: LOL

HillsLC: haha

BoobzAplenty: ROFLMAO

HillsLC: Gotta go before Lo turns around and asks who I'm texting. CU at the bar 2nite.

BoobzAplenty: good luck dont be afraid 2 lock her in a closet

HillsLC: I'm so using this in my next book.

July 17, 2009

Fugabel Lucas

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So, I guess Isabel Lucas is in Transformers 2, and was the passenger in Shia LaBeouf's infamous car accident in which he broke his hand. Apparently, she was uninjured; now, though, I'm a trifle concerned that she did, in fact, sustain a very mild head injury that went unnoticed.

Is it possible to become selectively blind after a fender-bender? Or to lose one's perspective when it comes to, say, measurements or lengths? Or the amount of time it takes to do something? Specifically, is it conceivable that she bruised the part of her brain that says, "Hey, it's taking ten minutes to zip up these shorts -- maybe that means these shorts are heinously stupid"? You know it's bad from the waist down when I don't even CARE about her hat. I haven't seen pants that awkward since I volunteered at a nursing home in Grade 11. Or the last college football game I attended, at which most of the rich old donors wore these exact shorts with spirit t-shirts tucked really tightly into them, as they sat in front of their RVs and ate bratwursts. But a zipper as long as a 20-ounce bottle of Diet Coke seems a TAD unnecessary on a girl who's only 24, not to mention it's giving her a whisper of polterwang. And there is nothing good about that, aside from what a great book/band/album title A Whisper of Polterwang might be. Note to self...

July 13, 2009

Maria Menoufugs

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I hate being lulled into a false sense of security.

[Photo: Apega/WENN.com]

For instance, looking at this much of Maria Menounos, you might think to yourself, "She's pretty. It's a black dress. Nothing to see here."

But you'd be wrong:

Continue reading Maria Menoufugs.

June 23, 2009

Fug Or Fab: Cameron Diaz; Whatever, TomKat

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[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

TOM: Um, Katie?

KATIE: Hmm? Oh, are you still here?

TOM: I was just wondering why you couldn't dress up a little for our friend Cameron's Walk of Fame thing.

KATIE: Can you see me from all the way down there? How sweet.

TOM: Honey, I know your jeans are supposed to look like that, but it looks like you haven't washed them in a month.

KATIE: Exactly. I paid a tremendous amount of money for blotchy jeans that look filthy. Get with the times, man.

TOM: And I don't understand what's going on with your t-shirt. Were you planning to tie it up into a pouch at your waist and smuggle out some snacks?

KATIE: Scientologist, heal thyself -- is that a tag on your crotch, or just a really bright zipper?

TOM: Also, it's hot out and you're going to get yellow sweat stains all over that cardigan.

KATIE: I don't sweat. I glisten.

TOM: I just think you should've tried a little harder for our friend Cameron. Especially because SHE seems to have put in some effort:

Continue reading Fug Or Fab: Cameron Diaz; Whatever, TomKat.

Results tagged “awful pants” from GoFugYourself

Kenzie Fugton

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MTV European Music Awards Fug Carpet: Leona Lewis

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Erin Fugcas

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Paula Abfug

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Lady Marmfuglade

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Fuggaback Girl

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Lfug Bosworth

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Fugabel Lucas

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Maria Menoufugs

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Fug Or Fab: Cameron Diaz; Whatever, TomKat

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