Results tagged “bloomers” from GoFugYourself

June 12, 2009

Fug Matthews

Meg Matthews here is the ex-wife of Oasis' Noel Gallagher. And here's hoping she paid attention when his band sang all those times about not looking back in anger, or else someday she may have a rage-induced aneurysm when she stumbles upon this photo:

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I mean, it really wasn't a good idea to fashion a sleeve out of something she found wadded up in an old gift bag. It totally wasn't necessary to add footless tights, much less ones that depict vines creeping up toward her knees as if to ingest them. And she CERTAINLY did not have to wear a giant taffeta sack that appears to end in bloomers. Ladies, the ONLY thing that should end in bloomers is a Shakespeare play, or possibly someone's shift at the Mead Parlor at the local Renaissance Faire. Remember that.
It seems Shontelle is a songstress from Barbados who's currently hoping to take the US by storm. Sound familiar? And she's even picking up RiRi's habit of wearing really weird stuff while performing:

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This is Rihanna with a taste of Britney, a speck of Katy Perry, a hint of Kate Hudson's sequined wrap, and an overall aura of being the lost Pussycat Doll. I have, after considerable minutes of staring and frowning, decided that I am not hallucinating, and this DOES appear to be a shirt tucked into elastic-waist silken bloomers -- as if she's singing at an overly formal Hollywood pajama party and the fancy boxers secretly say "Happy Panty-Raid-Day, Paris!" on the back.

Evidently, if Wikipedia is to be believed -- and if it isn't, I don't want to know about it -- Shontelle used to be a drill sergeant back in her native Barbados, and I find myself wishing THAT Shontelle would show up and scream the current one out of that outfit. Or at least run up to Paris Hilton at this party I've just invented and scare her into dropping and doing 50 pushups. I would root for that. I would maybe even buy her record if she got someone to take photos.

March 10, 2008

Cape Fug

But she looks so happy!

And I'm so happy she's so happy. However, I'm less happy about having concrete proof that people are actually wearing bloomers, which I believe I last saw dangling from the end of my left hand at Urban Outfitters, while I myself was wearing a disdainful sneer.  On the other hand, I am THRILLED she decided that hot pink leggings were the way to go, because I know that while there are 34-year old women who still believe in the flattering properties of the leggings they once wore to a JEM and the Holograms-themed roller-skating party in fifth grade, I will always have a job.

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