Results tagged “blue” from GoFugYourself

November 6, 2009

Leigh Lezfugk

This photo was a contender for Freaky Fug Friday, until Katy Perry swooped in with her Swiss Cheese ball gown and stole Leigh Lezark's thunder.

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[Photo: Splash News]

It's just as well. Because obviously, based on her dress, Leigh Lezark has just returned from an incredibly depressing and cheap Hawaiian vacation, and she needs some time to heal.

November 5, 2009

Fug Box

I kind of want to like this. Indeed, I DO like it conceptually:

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[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

But Cammy, there's no shame in going up a size. Nobody will know but you. Trust me, it's worth it: You'll look better, you can inhale sweet oxygen, and you might even have room for some free appetizers and a cocktail. Hell, throw in that badass necklace, and for some of us, that constitutes a perfect night.

P.S. I think... no on the shoes. They're too heavy with the outfit. Hooves are for horses, not humans.
October 29, 2009

The Fugly and the Fugly

On one hand, Paris Hilton's outfit is literally being held together with safety pins.

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On the other hand, at least SOMETHING working hard to keep her fully clothed.

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AMANDA SEYFRIED: Hi Julianne. You look great.

JULIANNE MOORE: So do you. You could maybe use some lipstick?

AMANDA; You could, too. But honestly...you look young and adorable.

JULIANNE: So do you. Actually, I feel like we could almost trade outfits.

AMANDA: Looking so cute in unison is so BORING.

JULIANNE: I wonder what we wore to the movie premiere later.
October 20, 2009

Well Played, Mischa Barton?

I have a confession to make. I totally was watching Mischa Barton's show, The Beautiful Life: TBL, even though every single time they went to commercial, I was like, "WHY THE 'TBL'? That's like calling Gossip Girl, Gossip Girl: GG, or One Tree Hill, One Tree Hill: OTH, or my personal favorite, 90210: 90210." And I just realized that I am pretty sure Heather made that joke already, back when it was timely, but STILL. We should have KNOWN it wasn't going to be any good. But I still mourned its loss: how am I supposed to know what happened to the Hot Dumb Boy Model Whose Dad Is Literally A Farmer Who Grouses About The Harvest, or the Hot Blonde Sweet Model Whose Dad Is Russian Mafia, or Mischa Barton, whose character had A SECRET BABY?? (That all makes it sounds better than it really was, of course: it was no Melrose Place: MP, which is legitimately juicy fun.) Anyway, I sort of wanted to support poor Mischa. She's having a rough year. But maybe things are looking up?

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Mischa has always cleaned up beautifully. I mean, say what you will about her outfits or her acting -- we sure have -- but I think she has a great face. And I sort of love this dress, in part because the neckline is unusual but not CRAAAAZY, and it frames said face so nicely. Also, I am obsessed with navy blue.

Let's check out the back:

October 9, 2009

Fug or Fab: Freida Pinto

I love Freida Pinto. I think she is so pretty. Today would be so much more delicious if I were Freida Pinto, running around Paris and looking at myself in the mirror and brushing my pretty shiny hair. Although....would I have to be wearing THIS?

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The color? Divine. The skirt? Shall we call it...intriguing? I must admit that I rather want to touch it. At least it's tactile-y....fascinating, rather like an adorable and complex high-end loofah. Her shoes? Be-spatted, or covered in little wine-bottle gift bags? Her bag? An afterthought, yes? Her face? Gorgeous. At least she's got that.

October 9, 2009

Fug or Fab: Sophia Bush

You guys, I'm so glad One Tree Hill is back. Seriously. I miss Chad Michael Murray's squints of judgment/joy/sorrow/fear/ambivalence, but it's still juicy. Murderous grave-immolating heart-eaten-by-a-dog Dan Scott is a life coach! He's married to ex-drug addict and semi-trashy cheerleader (and former classmate of both his children) Rachel! Nathan may or may not have impregnanted a ho one night on the road with his NBA team! Robert Buckley is charming and sometimes shirtless! Jana Kramer is hilarious as a shallow movie star! Skills hasn't gone to prison yet in real life and so he's still being all awesome with little Jamie! Brooke Davis has a hot boyfriend for the first time in two years! Haley's hair color is totally wrong! Mouth is... never mind. But suffice it to say, I'm glad the secret greatest show on television is entertaining me anew.

Which is more than I can say for Sophia Bush's dress. Nice transition, eh? No? Well, too bad, so sad -- which, again, is something I might say to Sophia Bush if she asked me about this outfit.

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I know that's a pretty negative intro for a Fug or Fab, but here's why the post is filed thusly: This MIGHT be very pretty. But it's hard for me to judge the dress on its own merits, because something about it is so very wrong to me on Sophia. Maybe it's the styling: Loose hair flowing into shoulder ruffle flowing into large ruffled skirt equals a whole lot of STUFF. There's no grace, no neck;  it's all shoulders and floppy bits. The judging panel of America's Next Top Model would be horrified, before complimenting her on her ability to "smize," and yes, Tyra has invented her own contraction for "smile with your eyes." I KNOW. It's only a matter of time before she buys Webster's and puts out a dictionary all her own.

Back to Sophia: I don't think the dress works in motion, either:

September 29, 2009

Well Played, Janet Jackson

On the one hand, this is very Krystle Carrington:

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On the other, it's both sexy and mature on her -- I mean, as much as Janet Jackson is perpetually Miss Jackson If You're Nasty in my head, she is 43, and so it's nice that she's not running around trying to act like she's Lauren Conrad or something. The matching nail polish might be a bit much, but frankly, I'm just glad Janet looks both happy and as though she has not forsaken eating. Her entire tabloid experience is either stories about a) how she's gained a ton of weight, or b) how she's lost a bunch of weight for the last time, for real, totally, we mean it. So I'm glad she's bought some real estate someplace in between: healthy, hot, and still not afraid to flash a little cleavage. You go, Janet. And if somebody sees this photo and decides to pitch Dynasty II and cast her as the trophy wife in a clan of Kleenex barons or something, well, I can try to learn to love again. It won't be like the first time, but what is?
September 28, 2009

Fugriends

Listen, everyone loves Maggie "Janice from Friends" Wheeler, right? Right.

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[Photo: WENN.com]

Everyone, that is, except for the people who saw her put this on and walk out of the house wearing it. PEOPLE. How many times do I have to say it? SILENCE IS NOT GOLDEN. IT IS DANGEROUS. If you see a loved one -- or even someone that you're just fond of from back when she was dating Chandler Bing -- wearing something that says, "Damn, these three weeks in Hawaii are SERIOUSLY just what the doctor ordered," STEP IN. Unless, of course, you're all in Hawaii together, in which case, give the girl a mai tai and unclench.

Christina Applegate seemed a little cranky when she was talking to Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet, and I figured there were several reasons for this:

a) she doesn't like Ryan for some reason
b) it's surreal to be nominated for a role that no longer exists
c) it was like ten thousand degrees on Sunday.

But once I got a real look at her gown, I thought of another option.

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d) she hates her dress. She DID sort of bobble over the designer's name and then kind of dismiss it entirely, so obviously they're in a blood feud. I can't say I wholly blame her. The color is swell -- it really makes her eyes pop, as they say -- but there's so much happening on her left side that I wouldn't be surprised if she started to list in that direction.


So, I think we can all agree that this was a mistake, right?

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I mean, the color is great but the last time this particular silhouette was flattering on a woman, her name was Glenn Close and she and John Malkovich were playing an increasingly dangerous game of seduction while she was wearing a corset and her hair had a ship in it. If you're not wearing the period-appropriate undergarments with your panniers, then you just look like your hips are suddenly as bizarrely wide as a beam, and if you are wearing said period-appropriate undergarments, then you are probably going to pass out and/or people are going to think you are KA-RAZY because you're running around dressed like you've recently escaped from the set of Dangerous Liaisons II: Get Dangerous!  In other words, Sarah, we're thrilled you're not wearing jeans and a ripped sweatshirt and playing with your gum as usual, but this was an exceedingly weird choice. In fairness, I admit that I will never understand why Sarah Silverman seems to feel the need to downplay how cute she is by generally dressing like a hot mess at events, when the fact is that she's created an entire comedic persona around the (completely tired) idea that it's funny when a cute girl says something shockingly crass/crassly shocking. Doesn't it therefore follow that she should generally look adorable, as part of her branding? It's not like she's Charlize Thereon, who might worry that her stunning beauty will get in the way of being cast in a serious role. Her whole DEAL is that she's cute, and therefore it's HILARIOUS if she calls someone a word I won't use on this website because my mom reads it. I actually don't agree with this as a comedic concept in the least, but she seems to buy into it, so why doesn't she ever try to LOOK BETTER? THAT'S THE WHOLE CRUX OF HER ENTIRE DEAL!!

And it makes me shouty.
September 9, 2009

Elizabfug Hurley

I only JUST now noticed that Liz Hurley's boobs are oozing out of her bodice.

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And the reason I only just noticed: I was too distracted, hypnotized even, by the fact that Liz's eye shadow matches her dress. Am I supposed to be okay with that? Because I'm pretty sure I'm not okay with that. I don't want to be told that my eyelids have to coordinate with my clothes. Especially if I am wearing blue. It's just so STRONG. And chilly. Like she hired the Snow Miser to do her makeup.

Let's have a squizz at the close-up:

It's little wonder I've never heard of Rachel Zeskind.

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Until today, no one had seen hide nor hair of her since her job as the hostess at the incredibly ill-conceived and unpopular Sea World Sushi Lounge.

Jacqueline MacInnes Wood plays Steffy Forrester on The Bold and The Beautiful and when I explain what has happened to Steffy in her short life you will easily understand why B&B won best Daytime Drama on Sunday night.

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It seems she:
  1. Has fallen off a boat and been presumed eaten by sharks
  2. Has been held captive by her father's ex.
  3. Was held captive AGAIN by the same ex.
  4. Was saved from said ex -- who was then committed to an insane asylum -- by her father, who drove his car through a building to do it.
  5. Has to deal with being the child of a man who not only is apparently a reckless driver, but who also has been married eight times to three women
  6. Lost her mother in a brutal murder that of course turned out to be just a misunderstanding
  7. Was conveniently sent to boarding school so she could Rapidly Age
  8. Lost her twin sister who died in a car accident the night of their father's rehearsal dinner (I am so sure she's actually dead. You could burst into flames on a soap and then have your head cut off and they can bring you back) and realized this solely thanks to her Magic Psychic Twin Power
  9. Appears to be engaged to her own step-uncle who once tried to marry her mom. I think. This show is CONFUSING. I totally have to start watching.
Seriously, the fact that her skirt is made out of cupcake liners is totally the least of her problems.


August 27, 2009

Fugging Jordan

Apart from not being able to figure out what Jill Hennessy is up to these days that she's getting asked to ring the NYSE bell...

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.. I am ALSO wondering why she purloined a dress from a wardrobe shed that contains everything ever worn in the movie 9 to 5. Although, considering it's a festival of satin and more modest than a chastity belt, it's actually not as frightening as it could be -- nor as wrinkled. But it is still musty and dated to me -- like, even 9 to 5 feels more fresh than this, and totally more lively. Perhaps it's the presence of Dolly Parton that does it. Note to Jill: Next time you wear this, consider pinning a brooch in the image of Dolly's face to your chest. Just for some zest.

August 26, 2009

Fugging With the Stars

I might be wrong -- it happens almost daily -- but it seems to me that Debi Mazar is too famous to be on Dancing With the Stars. I mean, she has an actual job on Entourage. (Unless they've killed her off or something; I stopped watching two seasons ago once I realized that every time that show has the opportunity for actual interesting conflict, they make the choice to avoid it.)

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[Photo: Splash News]

In addition to being too famous for the show, I feel that she's also too young to be dressing like a special guest star on The Love Boat, whose story will involve both an awkward tap-dancing routine during the dinner service and a semi-comic romantic love triangle involving some kind of misunderstanding that will be easily cleared up by Isaac The Bartender over a couple of Harvey Wallbangers.

August 25, 2009

The Fug and the Restless

I have a great fondness for Kate Linder, if only because I appreciate that the Wikipedia article about her Y&R character notes that she is a "retired maid," who is also independently wealthy and uses the sentence, "Esther and Roger eventually married, but the marriage was declared invalid after it became clear that Roger was in fact a bigamist." It's so awkward when you find out that, in fact, your husband is a big old bigamist - unless, I guess, you're on Big Love. You also have to give props to a woman who, upon landing a role on a soap opera, decided to keep her day job as a flight attendant.

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In fact, I suspect she could fly the friendly skies solely using the wingspan of her pants.

Well, we start out okay here, with the makeup and the color...

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... but between looking like an orthopedic brace was built into her dress at the midriff, and the shoes that bespeak a dark obsession with athletic tape, I can't figure out why Michelle Monaghan wanted to hit the town looking like she's being held together by the skin of her fashion. I mean, maybe it's performance art, picking shoes that look like they treat the pain most high heels cause, but they make me want to toss her some crutches and a few dozen Motrin.
Rory Gilmore. You are KILLING ME with this.

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What drunken brigade of mice helped sew this? Because I think they glued an apron to a table runner and then crawled down the neck of a Pabst Blue Ribbon to celebrate. It actually might be an HOMAGE to Pabst Blue Ribbon, in the sense that you look like a giant first-prize rosette in some sort of pageant honoring wearable tea cozies. The only part of this dress that fits you is the neck hole. ABORT.

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KIRSTEN DUNST: Hey, Demi.

DEMI MOORE: Hey, Kiki.

KIRSTEN: Do we look nice, or what?

DEMI: We do. Of course, I almost always look great.

KIRSTEN: What are you insinuating?

DEMI: Nothing!

KIRSTEN: I KNEW IT. We look totally boring.

DEMI: Speak for yourself! I think we look great. You know, Kirsten, it's okay to look NICE sometimes. You don't have to always be, like, avant-garde.  It is okay, now and then, to just comb your hair and put on a cute dress and look pretty. You don't ALWAYS have to set the world on fire. And when it comes to you, I kind of suspect that people are stoked to see you out and about again, no matter what you're wearing. We've kind of missed you lately.

KIRSTEN: Really?

DEMI: Yes. Remember, you used to go out all the time, in all kinds of crazy get-ups? And then you sort of disappeared?

KIRSTEN: Uh, yeah. I was in rehab.

DEMI: Oh. Right.

KIRSTEN: It's cool.

DEMI: Anyway.

KIRSTEN: Yeah.

DEMI: So I shouldn't break the tension here by suggesting we get a drink?

KIRSTEN: Let's just get back to admiring each other's shoes.

DEMI: We really are glad to see you out and about again.

KIRSTEN: I'll drink to that. AND our cute dresses.

DEMI: Cheers!
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