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October 21, 2009

Fug City

Fug file:

caftans,
The City

So, we got to go to the Lucky Magazine/Madewell jeans party last night, and it was extremely entertaining. Any party that features wee tiny sandwiches is aces in my book, as you all know, not to mention the fact that it's refreshing not to be a constant shut-in. Anyhoodle, it was full of the kind of cute girls who are in Lucky as a matter of course and at one point, from behind my pile of mini-grilled cheeses, I saw Erin Lucas -- who you may know as Whitney's roomie on The City last season, with the bangs -- float by. And I turned to my friend and said, "Hey, there's Erin who used to be on The City, with the bangs," and then we thought no more of it. BUT! I wish I had paid better attention to her outfit, because today, I was presented with irrefutable evidence that it was THIS:

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

The other day, someone found GFY by searching for the phrase "PROM CAFTANS," and now that I've seen this, I'm concerned that might actually be A THING. PLEASE DON'T MAKE THAT A THING, AMERICA.

October 15, 2009

Fug or Fab: Minnie Driver

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So, I guess Minnie Driver is in this new movie, Motherhood, for which I just saw an trailer. It seems to be about a harried and somewhat downtrodden stay-at-home blogger/mom who runs errands in her nightgown and knows a lot of working mothers who are kind of mean to her. It is hard to tell from two and a half minutes, but I suspect this might annoy bloggers, stay-at-home mothers, mothers with jobs outside of the home, and women who are asked to believe that Uma Thurman is anything other than incredibly striking and youthful looking, by which I mean: all of us. But trailers can be misleading: Heather and I have a friend who once announced, based solely on the trailer, that if the Johnny Depp/Penelope Cruz movie Blow didn't sweep the Oscars, he was going to leave town forever. I believe he is in Burbank right now.

I don't think Motherhood is going to sweep anything, and I am equally unsure about this:

SHE looks great -- like, as a person -- and I am easily amused by a saucy print. That being said....

poll by twiigs.com

September 25, 2009

Joy Fugant

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Remember when you were a kid and on your birthday one of your friends would make you a card, and in that card would be a poem based on your name, in which each letter was transformed into an adjective about your AWESOMENESS? Like, mine would be:

Jerky
Erratic
Sassy
Slow-witted
Irrational
Crippled, emotionally
Awesome!

Don't ask me why, but there is something about Joy Bryant's outfit here that inspires me to similar poetic greatness:

ODE TO CAFTAN:

Comfortable!
Awkward.
Flattering -- NOT! (Yes, I'm bringing "NOT!" back, along with making the W with your fingers for "WHATEVER." SOPHISTICATED HUMOR IN THE HOUSE.)
Tricky to pull off, unless you're at home eating Cheetos and trying not to burst into flames, as I currently am. I literally am wearing a caftan right now. BUT I'M AT HOME. (Don't tell anyone.)
Are those cowboy boots?
No thanks.

I totally should have gotten my MFA in poetry, right? I always thought so.

August 12, 2009

The Fug Element

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You know how you say of someone particularly chic/beautiful/fit/possessed of an enviable je ne sais quoi, "she'd look good in a barrel?" Well, I generally feel that Milla here would probably look decent in a barrel. I might not approve of the cut of said barrel and I certainly wouldn't endorse barrel-wearing, nor would I believe that, of everything else in her closet, the barrel was Milla's most inspired choice, but you know what I mean. You smell what I'm cooking. You appreciate the barrel of monkeys I'm unpacking over here.

Because what is written on the side of this particular barrel is, "Not Even Milla Jovovich Can Pull This Off; Look On My Works, Ye Mighty, AND DESPAIR." This is, I believe, what the kids refer to as a hot mess.

July 29, 2009

Private Fugtice

Fug file:

caftans,
WTF

Sometimes I think Heather and I are the only people in America watching Private Practice. Listen: it's not good. And yet it is somewhat compelling. Also, last season ended with Megan from Felicity stealing Amy Brenneman's unborn child from her womb, so I'm clearly going to be tuning in this fall. Other parts of it are also semi-intriguing. But nothing on it is as perplexing or as freaking complicated as....this....thing on KaDee Strickland, who plays the super uptight/secretly kinky/unable to love/or is she? Charlotte:

Um. I am rarely speechless. But "um" seems to cover this. Well, I mean, of course it doesn't actually cover it. But what COULD cover this? I feel like I need to invent a word for the fact that this is...in existence. Like, "mawglarrchloer," or "WHAclarg6erglee," or "flargPnts*tERPS." Something MAJESTIC and bizarre. Like....this flargPnts*tERPS WHAclarg6erglee mawglarrchloer itself.

July 16, 2009

Bleeding Fug

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Attach the usual disclaimers here: Leona Lewis is indeed very lovely, and she's certainly very talented and, ergo, deserves better than this:

In addition to the fact that I am really seriously concerned this thing is going to slip down and show us all her bodacious leonas, it also kind of makes her look like an aging background member of Miami Sound Machine, as it seems to have ample droopy nooks and crannies in which one could store one's maracas. I guess this is what it looks like when the rhythm DOES finally get you. I knew that song was a cautionary tale.

July 16, 2009

The ESPYS Fug Carpet/Well Played: The Williams Sisters

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VENUS WILLIAMS: Dude.

SERENA WILLIAMS: What?

VENUS: This isn't cool, Serena.

SERENA: What are you talking about?

VENUS: You look AMAZING.

SERENA: Thanks! The last few weeks have been AWESOME. I'm really happy!

VENUS: That's what I'm talking about. Right there. That.

SERENA: I'm not following.

VENUS: We had a DEAL.

SERENA: Which deal is that? We have many deals. My favorite is the one with Oreo, with that commercial where we're having that press conference trash-talk-off with the Manning brothers and they're all, "It's on like Donkey Kong." That turned out really well. It's a really cute ad.

VENUS: No. A deal. Between you and me. A sisterly deal.

SERENA: You're going to have to refresh my memory.

VENUS: YOU WON WIMBLEDON THIS YEAR.

SERENA: Wasn't that AWESOME? Well. Maybe not totally for you. But then we won the doubles match! Again! And you won Wimbledon in 2007 AND 2008, so how steamed can you be, really, Venus? We're awesome TOGETHER! I'm just...awesomer this year. That's all.

VENUS: You're being deliberately obtuse. Whoever wins Wimbledon has to wear the caftan. AND YOU LOOK GREAT AND I'M WEARING THE CAFTAN. I'm the LOSER in a CAFTAN and that WAS NOT THE DEAL. And you KNOW IT.

SERENA: But seriously, considering that it's a caftan, you actually look really pretty cute. I mean it. I like that caftan.

VENUS: Then why aren't you WEARING IT?

SERENA: Oh, look, there's Andy Roddick! Gotta go!

VENUS: I am going to kill her when we get home.

June 11, 2009

Fugs on a Plane

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I have a theory.

It is this: When you are wearing something that looks suspiciously like harem pants, you should not also wear your tunic top, unless you are specifically attending some kind of kitschy harem-focused Arabian Nights party, like Celine Dion's second wedding, in which case this whole thing is too boring ANYWAY, because said party probably requires you to go all out. In daily life, the sad truth is that one must separate one's harem pants from one's tunic top. I know. It's a cruel fact of life, but it must be done to avoid looking too obsessively thematic.

Note: This theory is negated if you are an old lady, in which case you should wear whatever you want, and, in fact, this is perfect for gossip and mahjong by the pool.

May 6, 2009

Met Ball Fug Carpet: Paulina Porizkova

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Well, I love Paulina Porizkova, and I think however she's doing her aging has been a magnificent choice for her. I also wish she and Janice Dickinson had gotten the chance to be on the same ANTM judging panel. Neither of them mince their words but it'd give us so many genius squabbles because while Paulina's critiques can be stern, Janice is Janice, and YES.

However:

She looks like the hottest woman in the Polyphonic Spree, whose day job is at an Orange Julius stand and who brushes her hair about 400 times a day.

And for those of you who craved a Mischa/Paulina comparison a week or so ago, let's go ahead and stick 'em side by side:

Continue reading Met Ball Fug Carpet: Paulina Porizkova.

May 6, 2009

Met Ball Fug or Fab Carpet: Ashley Olsen

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This photo totally cracks me up:

Ashley Olsen's bf, Justin Bartha: Book of Secrets, is totally checking out her ass. And I think he likes what he sees:

Continue reading Met Ball Fug or Fab Carpet: Ashley Olsen.

Results tagged “caftans” from GoFugYourself

Fug City

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Fug or Fab: Minnie Driver

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Joy Fugant

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The Fug Element

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Private Fugtice

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Bleeding Fug

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The ESPYS Fug Carpet/Well Played: The Williams Sisters

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Fugs on a Plane

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Met Ball Fug Carpet: Paulina Porizkova

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Met Ball Fug or Fab Carpet: Ashley Olsen

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