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November 6, 2009

MTV European Music Awards Fug: Katy Perry's Other Outfits

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Katy Perry had a busy night in Germany: As the host of the MTV EMAs, she did what every awards-show emcee does, and wore seventy billion different outfits. I got tired just sifting through the photos, and I didn't have to change my pants every five minutes to do it -- although maybe next time I will, just to increase my empathy. That way, when, say, Eva Longoria Parker hosts the ALMAs again and dons 15 separate ensembles, and I fug them, and she calls me up (you know, as she's wont to do) and goes, "Bitch, you don't know my life," I can be like, "Oh yes I DO -- do you KNOW how many t-shirts I went through last night while I was surfing for photos?" And then we'll cry and hug it out and she'll give me a pair of Louboutins from her closet as a peace offering.

Anyway: Perry. Let's start with what she wore on the red carpet.

I don't mind this too much. From some angles, the black detail looks like a creeping skin disease, and I guess it is indenting on her left boob a little bit, and I am tired of fishtails... in fact, given all of that, why DOESN'T it bother me? I don't know. I actually think she looks pretty. And TINY. It's not that I ever thought Katy Perry wasn't super slender, but for whatever reason this drove it home.

Later, there was this:

It's fine. It fits her boobs better. It's fairly plain, but for the adornment on her chest that reminds me of what might happen if you ran over an Everlasting Gobstopper with your car.

Once Katy got on stage, though, things took their usual turn:

Continue reading MTV European Music Awards Fug: Katy Perry's Other Outfits.

September 16, 2009

Fug Fug Pow

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If the Pussycat Dolls ever came out with a line of swimwear, I think Fergie's getup here would be among the first items to hit stores.

Seriously, this is what you wear to the beach if you are blind. Or you really, REALLY trust your sunscreen-application skills.

Also, it really says something about the state of famewhorey artists today that I can look at Fergie in this outfit and be like, "Yeah, but where is your prosthetic udder and mask made of cheese?"

September 9, 2009

Lady Fugga

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So we've gone from a willful lack of pants and do-it-yourself nipple shields... to this:

It's like one part Madonna, one part Liberace, a sprinkling of Liza Minnelli, a droplet of Joan Collins, all thrown in a blender and frosted with a divine icing made of this:

Continue reading Lady Fugga.

September 2, 2009

Daytime Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Lesley-Anne Down

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It seems Lesley-Anne Down is using a headband to hide her weirdly delineated hair.

Fortunately, though, she is not hiding her Crazy.

She looks like she's posing for Mrs. Peacock on a new set of Clue cards. Parenthetically, I never did understand why Mrs. Peacock in the movie wore orange, because peacock generally refers to a shade of blue, yet Eileen Brennan was decked out in fall-foliage colors. Not that I would ever, EVER question that movie, because it is perfection. But I approve of this as a secondary option: It's costumey, it includes a purse that could conceal a gun one might use to shoot a singing-telegram girl, the gloves would leave no fingerprints, and all that ruching might ably hide the contours of a sinister wrench stuffed in a lady's underclothing. So, you know: Everything a girl needs for a rainy night out on the town in a mysterious house.

August 13, 2009

The Fugs Next Door

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You know, I am someone who doesn't have a problem showing up places a little overdressed. (Not that you'd ever guess that looking at me right this moment.) I feel like, my pretty clothes hardly ever get to leave the house, since I work from home, so I might as well trot them out now and then. But there is a line. AND THIS IS WAY OVER IT:

THIS is the premiere of a movie about used car salesmen that Jeremy Piven was reduced to promoting on Big Brother. YOU, Holly Madison, look like you're attending a ball where the dress code is "Into the Woods Formal." I understand that now you've broken up with Hef, you don't have the opportunity to throw wildly extravagant theme parties anymore, and that must be tough for you. But there is a time and a place to work through your unquenchable desire to dress like you're the love child of an ostrich and a tree, and this, my dear, is not it.

July 24, 2009

Waking Up in Fug...Well-Played-ly-ish?

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You know it's Friday, and you're tired, when you think to yourself, "hmmm, I guess I DO really prefer fuzzy dice to bananas," and you're referring to clothing options.

Although I can't imagine in what scenario other than A Mental Stock-Taking of the Many Costumes of Katy Perry you'd be discussing the two at all. Well. I can. But it'd be as weird and unsuccessful dirty euphemisms and this is a family blog. (Although, if they're shaped like dice, you should see a doctor.)

July 7, 2009

Fugger Face

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GUESSSSSS WHOOOOOOOO?

[Photo: WENN.com]

You'll never guess! You'll never, never guess. You'll simply never, never, never never never never hazard a guess. IT'S SUCH A CONUNDRUM!

Continue reading Fugger Face.

June 29, 2009

BET Awards Fug: Beyonce

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I don't know about you.

But I just found my wedding dress. I spent my girlhood dreaming of a gown that would marry -- so to speak -- the aesthetics of Barbie with the "November Rain" video, and HERE IT IS. Now I just need to find an awesome dude wearing a top hat with his hair over his face to act as best man and track down Axl Rose and we're SET.

June 11, 2009

Fugs on a Plane

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I have a theory.

It is this: When you are wearing something that looks suspiciously like harem pants, you should not also wear your tunic top, unless you are specifically attending some kind of kitschy harem-focused Arabian Nights party, like Celine Dion's second wedding, in which case this whole thing is too boring ANYWAY, because said party probably requires you to go all out. In daily life, the sad truth is that one must separate one's harem pants from one's tunic top. I know. It's a cruel fact of life, but it must be done to avoid looking too obsessively thematic.

Note: This theory is negated if you are an old lady, in which case you should wear whatever you want, and, in fact, this is perfect for gossip and mahjong by the pool.

June 9, 2009

Jenna Fugeson

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First off, I'm thrilled to report that Jenna Jameson, former adult film star/entrepreneur extraordinaire, is looking very healthy after having her babies a couple of months ago. I was scared she was going to ratchet down to crazy skinny again, but I think she looks fabulous just as she is. Outfit excluded:

Girl. I know your job history may have slightly warped your view of what is actually considered clothing, but I'm pretty sure this was last seen on a showgirl in Atlantic City's famous Ancient Greece-themed revue, Topless Acropolis.

Results tagged “costumey” from GoFugYourself

MTV European Music Awards Fug: Katy Perry's Other Outfits

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Fug Fug Pow

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Lady Fugga

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Daytime Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Lesley-Anne Down

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The Fugs Next Door

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Waking Up in Fug...Well-Played-ly-ish?

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Fugger Face

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BET Awards Fug: Beyonce

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Fugs on a Plane

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Jenna Fugeson

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