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October 6, 2009

Well Played, Katy Perry

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designers

KATY PERRY: Hey there, Mr. Kaiser, sir.

KARL: Greetings, performer. What a fetching dress you're wearing. GLOW.

KATY: It's one of yours.

KARL: By day you're charming. By night, a gleaming banana. SPLIT.

KATY: Oh, ha, I see what you did there! Funny!

KARL: No. Humor is the crutch of the plain, pet. BE GORGEOUS.

KATY: I don't think...

KARL: HARK. What's that I spy? Hint: Not a cat.

KATY: I... can't imagine.

KARL: You clutch my face. My head is a farm of inspiration, and it's the harvest. REAP.

KATY: Oh, great, because I have so many questions...

KARL: You mistake me. To listen is to find God in a pumpkin.

KATY: Is it... okay, how about this?

Continue reading Well Played, Katy Perry.

August 20, 2009

FugMaker

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DIDDY: Why didn't anyone tell me Zac Posen had joined a marching band? I should put that in one of my reality shows. Making His Marching Band. Yes. Perfect. It can air after Glee. God. I'm a genius. Also, I look great. I need to go talk to Trump later tonight about how amazing we are.

CASSIE: Yes! My head is still half-shaved. And I'm wearing a jumpsuit! BUT! I still look pretty cute, considering. Hey, don't make that surprised face. It's rude.

ZAC POSEN: All right, let's get this show on the road. I've got a marching band to get to. Those flugelhorns are making me crazy!

August 6, 2009

Fug-Fug (or Fab) Pow

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FERGIE: Hey, look! I changed back my hair! I wonder when I did that.

ARMANI: I have ALSO changed something!!!!

FERGIE: You changed what dress you were giving me, I know that much. Didn't we discuss one that had a waist?

ARMANI: We did!!! But I decided I would rather you looked like a very large bridal handbag!!!

FERGIE: Yeah, well, mission accomplished.

ARMANI: You could keep your groom in there!!!!!!

FERGIE: Also, I think maybe someone was drunk when they hemmed this thing.

ARMANI: It was probably ME!!!!!

FERGIE: Or am I just wearing it crooked? God, it's like I'm ten years old and am trying to turn one of my mother's fancy skirts into a dress by yanking it up to my armpits.

ARMANI: We do not say the word "armpits" in high-fashion.

FERGIE: Sorry.

ARMANI: It's okay!!!! You still haven't guessed what's new with ME!!

FERGIE: Um. New... enthusiasm?

ARMANI: New bronzer formula!! I switched from 'Rich Mocha Sunset' to 'Toast Surprise'!!!

FERGIE: That's great. Knowing that will REALLY make me feel better if this skirt moves at ALL and the world realizes I'm wearing my laundry-day panties.

ARMANI: I think you look hot!!!

FERGIE: Strangely, so do I. My feelings are so confusing.

poll by twiigs.com

August 3, 2009

DKNFug

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Allow me to be frank. I am seriously confused:

What is Donna Karan wearing, here? It APPEARS to be a white mechanic's jumpsuit, the top of which she has unzipped and folded down, jauntily? Which she then prevented from puddling at her feet by essentially belting it with a fanny pack? Is that even....possible?

May 27, 2009

Fug or Fab: Georgina Chapman

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designers,
dialogue

[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

HARVEY WEINSTEIN: Interesting dress, honey.

GEORGINA CHAPMAN: Yes, isn't it?

HARVEY: You're very good at making things with... foldy bits.

GEORGINA: Yes, aren't I?

HARVEY: And the fabric looks like it'd freshen my breath if I chewed it.

GEORGINA: Yes, doesn't it?

HARVEY: But... I mean, there DOES seem to be rather a LOT of the foldy bits.

GEORGINA: Yes, don't there?

HARVEY: It's very busy. And it kind of looks like you have a matching dishcloth hanging from your belt.

GEORGINA: Yes, doesn't it?

HARVEY: And because I'm afraid of crushing that huge front foldy bit, which is really enormous, it makes it very hard for me to hug you terribly tightly.

GEORGINA. Yes!!!!! Doesn't it?!?!?!?!

HARVEY: ... Okay. I just thought I'd mention... okay.

poll by twiigs.com

May 6, 2009

Fuglla McCartney

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Stella McCartney is a confusing creature.

This is groovy on her. Love the shoes, love the wrap, and I even don't mind the pockets. Even with her hands jammed into them, they don't really distort the line of the outfit, which is flattering and an interesting use of balancing the intricate lace pattern with other cool accessories. In essence, it's the type of thing that makes me feel like I could walk into her store on Robertson and -- assuming I'm not tossed out because the purse I'm using right now is totally from Target and I only own Louboutins that have come from eBay -- not weep at the vision of everything being sold there.

However, then Stella goes and takes basically the same lace fabric and does this with it:

Continue reading Fuglla McCartney.

May 1, 2009

Erin Fuggerston

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Everybody is all stressed out about the swine flu.

But nobody seems to be talking about the medical dangers of the deadly Saturday Night Fever.

April 17, 2009

The Ballad of Fugco and Zac

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I love this photo:

I wanted to write a dialogue for it, but I couldn't decide on an angle. Is Zac Posen the star knife-thrower at a circus owned by Kanye West, and Coco Rocha his brave assistant? Or is he a magician who's about to stick her in a coffin-sized Louboutin box and saw her in half, only to have her reappear whole at stage right sitting on top of a bust of Anna Wintour? Is Zac a pimp trying to sell Coco to dateless guests at the Send In The Clowns benefit to raise funds for a petting zoo made entirely of balloon animals? Is he about to ask her if she can pay the rent, and of course she won't be able to, so he's going to tie her to the subway tracks until Karl Lagerfeld comes to her rescue?

It's TOO MUCH. So I decided instead to sit back and enjoy her cracked-out neck rubble and his plush, sofa-like cape, and pray he choreographs his next fashion show along one of those exact plotlines.

April 2, 2009

Well Played, Anne Hathaway

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VALENTINO: Anne. Pet.

ANNE HATHAWAY: Hello!

VALENTINO: I cannot believe my eyes.

ANNE: Thank you! I AM pretty pleased with my dress. My cleavage looks a bit fabulous.

VALENTINO: SO WHITE.

ANNE: ... Okay, now I have no idea whether it's a compliment or not.

VALENTINO: How are you so PALE? It's so UNNATURAL!

ANNE: ... Did he just tell me MY skin is unnatural?

VALENTINO: Skin the color of paper! It has to be a practical joke! Where is that George Clooney? Is he behind this?

ANNE: But this is totally the skin color I was born with -- I'm fair, you know? I like myself that way.

VALENTINO: Like? LIKE?

ANNE: Yeah! I'm proud of how I look. Porcelain skin is in, man.

VALENTINO: HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

ANNE: No, really, it's...

VALENTINO: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

ANNE: You're serious?

VALENTINO: HA.

ANNE: Because...

VALENTINO: HAH HA HAAAAAAAAA HA HA HAAA. IT MADE A FUNNY! HA HA HA HA!

ANNE: This is going to be a long night.

March 31, 2009

Stella FugCartney

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Well, I can see why Madonna is pals with Stella McCartney -- if I could see anyone in these studded bootaloons, it'd be Madge, probably while on-stage wearing a top hat and carrying nunchucks.

But the rest of it... what gives, Stella? You're a designer. Either you are being a very poor advertisement indeed for your own clothes, or you're wearing someone else's mishap that people will ASSUME is yours; either way, you take the fall for your chest looking off-center. SURELY you can do better than something that appears to have been sketched, fitted, and stitched by a sleepwalking monkey who is allergic to measuring tape.

Results tagged “designers” from GoFugYourself

Well Played, Katy Perry

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FugMaker

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Fug-Fug (or Fab) Pow

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DKNFug

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Fug or Fab: Georgina Chapman

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Fuglla McCartney

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Erin Fuggerston

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The Ballad of Fugco and Zac

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Well Played, Anne Hathaway

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Stella FugCartney

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