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October 20, 2009

Fug or Fab: Taylor Momsen

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Okay, let's take everything we know about T. Mom and set it aside: the years of cranky expressions (including this one), KISS-inspired face paint, and general surly mien. Cleanse your Momsen palate. Pretend you've never seen this girl before. You have fashion amnesia:

What do you think? "Wow, that cranky-looking girl in the flesh-colored number is pulling that whole look off in a way I would not have anticipated, if I knew anything about her, which I don't. Where am I again?" or "I find those fishnets a brave and intriguing choice. This irritated looking woman reminds me of a vaguely sexy zombie! I love it! What's my name?" or "What a bowl of surprisingly delicious oatmeal! Once this woman -- whomever she may be -- cuts loose those flammable extensions, she'll look positively fashion-forward! Who are you again?" or "Ew, AGAIN, person on CW? WHY?"

poll by twiigs.com

October 19, 2009

Fug Crush

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"Hey guys! I'm Kate Bosworth."

"You're probably wondering where I've been recently. But listen, it takes a LOT of work to find a dress that makes ME look THIS queasy. I've been busy!"

October 16, 2009

Fug or Fab: Nelly Furtado

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Let's talk about Nelly Furtado.

First of all, am I the only person who thinks Nelly looks like Courteney Cox? Not exactly, but as though they could be related -- like Nelly is Courteney's cousin, or something. Angle for a gig on Cougar Town, Nelly. I hear it's funny. Second, this outfit: I feel like it's SO CLOSE to being awesome, and yet something about it has pushed it off the Awesome Highway and into the gutters of Almostville. I fear I must lay the blame at her hose and shoes. They're sort of dragging your eye down, like an anchor. And the last thing you want your legs compared to is an anchor, am I right?

poll by twiigs.com

October 8, 2009

Leave Fug to Lamas

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We're going to be seeing a lot of Shayne Lamas and her twee tea party dresses between now and when her reality show premieres, aren't we?

After which point, it could go one of two ways:

A swift, merciful slide back into obscurity, after America reiterates that we are not at all interested in anything Lamas-related, although we could probably be talked into watching Leave It to Llamas.
Leave It to Lamas is a yoooge, Kardashian-y success, Shayne ends up clawing her way toward the middle of Fug Madness, we all spend a fair amount of time cursing humanity for giving the spotlight to this person (while being ourselves part of the problem rather than the solution, obviously), and then she starts her own line of ruffle-y twee party dresses that we all make fun of, before accidentally buying one and feeling the need to make excuses every time we wear it, primarily to people who don't care.

October 2, 2009

Fugarazzi

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I need to sit down. Well, technically, I am sitting down. I need to stand up and then sit back down.

I feel like, in comparison to Lady Gaga's usual, this is the equivalent of one of us -- the pants-wearing people -- leaving the house in like, a pair of jeans layered over leggings, worn under two skirts and a pair of Bermuda shorts. Sure, I'm pretty sure this is what the cocktail waitresses at Vegas's newest American Revolution-themed casino -- Paul Revere's Alehouse and Whist Emporium -- are going to be eventually be forced to wear, but that doesn't mean it's not progress.

September 23, 2009

Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Anastasia Griffith

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So, this is totally confusing to me:

If you're wondering where you've seen this actress, she plays Rose Byrne's fiance's sister on Damages, and she's pretty good. And according to Wikipedia, her brother is Jamie Bamber of Battlestar Galactica, so....that's an attractive family right there. But I would just like to state for the record that I do not understand why a dress that is designed to look like the bodice is made of two saucily placed ribbons is an entirely good idea. Unless, of course, the plan is for your evening to end with said ribbons unfurling at an apt moment. But a) these can't ACTUALLY unfurl, thus throwing a wrench into that plan, and b) suddenly appearing topless at the Emmys is a ploy best left to those without paying jobs.

September 22, 2009

Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Elisabeth Moss

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Well, this surely didn't go quite as planned.

There are aspects of this that I actually like. For one thing, it's refreshing to see Elisabeth Moss not having to wear her Mad Men bangs. WHY are they parted in the middle like curtains all the time? That may be period-appropriate, but I keep wanting to drag her into the Sterling Cooper Ladies Powder Room and brush them TOGETHER. Why hasn't Joan stepped in to resolve this incredibly important issue? And this color is kind of....intriguing? Sure, it's sort of the shade of the dark meat on a turkey, but it doesn't wash her out too terribly and could be sort of sophisticated. If it didn't look like she had it balled up in the bottom of her closet for six weeks prior to the event. Look, I understand that shit gets wrinkled, and sometimes you just go to an event knowing that you might be a wee bit creased. But this thing isn't just creased. It's CREASED. And this is the Emmys. And she's a nominee. So I guess what I'm saying is, if she insisted on wearing this Delicate Dark Meat Turkey Satin Number, why didn't she fully commit and lie down flat in the limo on the way over so as to preserve its integrity? That's all.

September 21, 2009

Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Drew Barrymore

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I feel bad for anyone who has the itch to design a dress in this basic vein:

I will give it to Drew: As much as I think flesh tones tend to wash out fair ladies like her (and me), her skin looks utterly flawless and porcelain. I'm not crazy about the hair and makeup -- they're a bit flat -- but my less-than-enthused reaction to this dress really isn't her fault. See, unfortunately, anything flesh-toned with an elaborate skirt is doomed to be compared to Penelope Cruz's Oscar dress, which is -- to use the texting parlance the kids love these days -- the OMG version of what Drew is wearing. The above is pretty, but it will always lose. Like, yeah, the Wakefield twins are super pretty, but poor, sweet, deaf ex-model Regina Morrow, who got her hearing back only to kick it after a broken heart drove her to experiment with cocaine? She was BEAUTIFUL. Ask anyone. So while there's nothing wrong with being a Wakefield -- I mean, you're still ALIVE and everything, and you own an awful lot of mini-skirts -- you never did make it onto the cover of Ingenue and you never were able to turn caddish Bruce Patman into a nice guy, so...

poll by twiigs.com

September 10, 2009

Fug or Fab: Jacinda Barrett

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GABRIEL MACHT: HO HO HO!

JACINDA BARRETT: What are you laughing about?

GABRIEL: Oh, just trying to look breezy.

JACINDA: Why?

GABRIEL: Oh, you know. It's good to look casual and devil-may-care at these things. Oh, HOLLYWOOD! You AMUSE! Etc.

JACINDA: Maybe we should just talk to each other. Like normal married people.

GABRIEL: Indeed! JACINDA! TREASURED BRIDE! I loved you on THE REAL WORLD! HO HO HO REALITY TELEVISION.

JACINDA: Seriously? I've been in a ton of movies. You have to bring this up? You know how I feel about it.

GABRIEL: HA HA HA YOU ARE A CARD! Pretending I have RUFFLED your RUFFLES! HO!

JACINDA: I am going to find the open bar now. Why don't you ask these nice people what they think of my outfit?

poll by twiigs.com

July 30, 2009

Fug or Fab: Chloe Sevigny

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Sometimes I like to just post these and make you vote without saying ANYTHING that could possibly bias you to vote either with or against me.

So I will just state a fact -- that C. Sev's legs are SERIOUSLY GREAT and her trainer needs to write a book -- and open your polling place:

poll by twiigs.com

Results tagged “flesh tones” from GoFugYourself

Fug or Fab: Taylor Momsen

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Fug Crush

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Fug or Fab: Nelly Furtado

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Leave Fug to Lamas

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Fugarazzi

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Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Anastasia Griffith

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Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Elisabeth Moss

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Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Drew Barrymore

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Fug or Fab: Jacinda Barrett

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Fug or Fab: Chloe Sevigny

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