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October 13, 2009

L.A. Fugdy

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dialogue,
floral

LAUREN CONRAD: So here we are at the Hollywood Style Awards, right?

STYLIST BRITT BARDO: Right.

LC: Do we think this was the right moment to make me look like a saggy pregnant lounge chair?

SBB: Why not? It's the right moment for me to model my hair after that muse in Xanadu who looked like she was wearing a phallus.

LC: Yours is more of a nubbin.

SBB: IRREGARDLESS.

LC: That's not a word.

SBB: Yeah? Well YOU'RE not pregnant and saggy!

LC: Exactly my point.

SBB: What are we talking about again?

LC: Look, I just don't love my outfit, okay? Let's reconsider next time.

SBB: Am I even your stylist?

LC: I hope so, because if not, then I did this to myself. And I am REALLY not sold on my lipstick. Or my hair.

SBB: Then you have problems.

LC: Thanks.

October 8, 2009

Fugla Patton

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Paula Patton wore this the day after she donned this recently fugged number, so clearly it was a very heady and crazy time for her. I look forward to the day her cheesy husband Robin Thicke writes an irritating slow jam all about watching her get dressed in crazy stuff and wanting to stop her.

Perhaps in person this was ravishing, and the photo doesn't do it justice, but when I saw it I shuddered:

She looks thoroughly upholstered. Between the sleeve and the matching handbag****, it's a LOT of pattern. I'm going to start calling her Paula Pattern. HA. HILARITY. I will pause while you stitch back together your splitting sides.

**** Well, hot damn, my eyes deceived me, it IS a ruffle. I thought it was a clutch she was holding vertically. That ... well, it's still too much, like the dress has a floral tongue.

Maybe not much can be done that isn't pure fantasy, but I think the entire thing would be improved vastly without the sleeve and with a clutch that evokes the color of the shoes. Or even ANY solid color. I feel like the floral is salvageable, but she just needs it to be less aggressive on the left half of her body. After a while it starts to look a bit like cheerful gangrene.

What would you do? Add a second sleeve? Change the neckline altogether? Keep the mono-sleeve but change its shape? Nothing? Everything? Chat it up in the comments. Keep it on-topic, keep it clean, keep it friendly, keep the faith, love will keep us together.

August 31, 2009

Daytime Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Rachel Melvin

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Misunderstandings can be so uncomfortable.

For instance, this dress is clearly what happens when someone says, "Aw, send a corsage to the widow," and a minion accidentally hears, "Send a corset to the widow," and then all of a sudden some bereaved lady puts a dress on eBay that looks like she's wearing her grief on her chest, and a soap star smells a bargain. I call that story Not Without My Eulogy: Mother, May I Sleep With The Fishes?, and I am selling it to Lifetime, stat.

July 28, 2009

Fug or Fab: Eva Mendes

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floral

On one hand: how charming! How garden party! How Betty Draper before you realize that beneath her shiny veneer roils a boiling vat of frustrated, tragic desperation that I have long feared will end with someone's head in an oven!

On the other hand: must those flowers be SO symmetrical that they -- to rapidly switch metaphorical gears -- somehow manage to remind of me of the scene in Sleeping With the Enemy where Julia comes home to find....HER CANNED GOODS ARE ALPHABETIZED!!!! and therefore she's about to get murdered? Some things should be haphazard, and floral prints and canned yams are two of them.

poll by twiigs.com

Results tagged “floral” from GoFugYourself

L.A. Fugdy

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Fugla Patton

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Daytime Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Rachel Melvin

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Fug or Fab: Eva Mendes

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