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November 9, 2009

Real Housefugs of New York

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Have I totally lost the plot, or is Kelly Bensimon walking down the street wearing her bath mat?

I'm serious. And this is honestly not even that surprising. Having watched many an episode of every Real Housewife franchise -- because I have no shame -- I can truthfully testify that Kelly Bensimon DOES seem to be the sort of person who might look down at her bathroom floor and think, "THIS. I'm going to wear THIS." I mean, she also jogs down 5th Avenue. THE STREET SECTION. NOT THE SIDEWALK. Wearing a bath mat probably seems neither bizarre nor questionable to the mind who doesn't see anything weird about forcing traffic to follow her at low speeds while she trots through the streets of New York. We should probably be glad it isn't her shower curtain.

July 15, 2009

Fugdy Fugda

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fur,
just...wow

Okay, Lady Gaga. This is it. You've stunned us with bubble dresses, heinous leotards, panty-hose, and countless flashes of your buttock flesh. You wore a hair donut. You carried a tea cup. Fine.

But this is the last straw. YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR:

[Photo: Splash News]

Tsk tsk, Gaga. You shoved your Little Miss Muffet into an Animal-head tuffet. I don't care if this is fresh off the catwalk -- you are encouraging the use of a muppet as some kind of madcap performance art, while his dead-eyed gaze peers out from under his signature monobrow as if to say, "It's too late for me. Go now. GO NOW AND SAVE YOURSELVES." Well, I will. You violate my eyes? Shame on me for looking. You play along with violating a muppet, though, and you are dead to me forever. Or, at LEAST until another slim-pickings fug day. I don't know. I have only so much inner strength. Suffice it to say that, much the way Animal was prone to doing with his face during his heyday, I hope someone picks you up and uses your crotch as a drumstick.

April 24, 2009

Fugiola Berafuga

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FABIOLA BERACASA: I am here. WHERE is Karl? I must see him.

JULIA RESTOIN-ROITFELD: I wonder why I agreed to stand with this person.

FABIOLA: Take me to him. He will adore this. He will spread me on a cracker and serve me with pate.

JULIA: Seriously, has she not heard of moderation? A velvet dress that looks like she drew a chalk suit-jacket on it, a coat made of Cher's old wigs, a metal glove AND a ring, and yet more flesh-colored leggings? Has she lost her mind? And do I look like I APPROVE of it by hanging out with her?

FABIOLA: I will say, "Karl, I liked this, so I put a ring on it," and he will high-five my aluminum hand and baptise me in champagne.

JULIA: I'm just going to pretend I'm not here. I'm in Tahiti... I'm in Tahiti... I'm in Tahiti...

March 16, 2009

Fug Angel

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Let me see if I've got this straight. As soon as Jessica Alba's face loses its fringe....

...her body gains one. I'm not sure that's how it's supposed to work.

March 6, 2009

Fugliette Lewfug

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I think all the celebrities are as zonked and thankful it's Friday as I am -- it feels a lot like scraping the barrel today in terms of finding really nutrageous fug. As it is, I'm left to ponder whether Juliette Lewis's coat is secretly fabulous, or faintly mangy and confusing.

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

You have to admire a giant fur coat that appears to have sprouted feathers. It almost looks like it's going through puberty, and is well on its way to becoming a pimply, bratty, closed-off adolescent jacket that slams the door of its closet and refuses to speak except in surly grunts, before finally maturing into an adult coat that knows how to boil an egg and balance a checkbook and get its driver's license.

Although from the back it looks more full-grown:

Continue reading Fugliette Lewfug.

February 12, 2009

FUGTON

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Oh, SWINTON, you are such a treasure.

I don't even really have a beef with this. How can I? It's you! In a velvet coat over velvet pants, with a massive fur hat, wearing heels even though you are eleven-foot-twenty and probably have your own beanstalk somewhere in the South of France!

Actually, at first, I thought the headgear was a crazy-ass bouffant wig the likes of which Amy Winehouse would wear if she got the lead in a Cleopatra biopic. And I admit, now that I know it's NOT, I'm a bit lonely for what -- in the immortal words of Tiffany -- could have been so beautiful. I mean, look, if there is anyone in the world whom I want to see playing Wino-as-Cleo, it's SWINTON. Dear, sweet, wackariffic SWINTON. Long may she reign.

December 2, 2008

Fug or Fab: The Weekend Wardrobe of Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham

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fur,
wearing white

Recently, Heather and I were talking to a British publication about Posh Spice, and the consensus on their side seemed to be that Posh was an over-exposed pain in the behind. Whereas on our side, the consensus (of two) was that she was AWESOME and needed never to leave Los Angeles, because one day we hope to run into her at CVS buying fungal cream or something. Especially if she's wearing THIS:

Is she some kind of international spy, too busy to get her trousers hemmed? And wouldn't it be a thrilling bit of gossip if it turned out that Posh WAS an international spy, and the whole bit with the Spice Girls was just her cover, so she could travel to foreign lands and gain access to a variety of venues more easily? I've decided that's true. After all, who but a glamorous international spy wears a trench coat, a fedora and SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT? I treasure her.

Later, of course, she went undercover:

Continue reading Fug or Fab: The Weekend Wardrobe of Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham.

November 12, 2008

Fug, je t'aime

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[Photo: BauerGriffinOnline.com]

PETER SARSGAARD: Maggie. Maggie, Maggie, Maggie.

MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL: Yes, Dad? I mean, Peter?

PETER: I don't look THAT old with this thing.

MAGGIE: Certainly not. But, just let me know if you want me to proofread your Gettysburg Address.

PETER: Oh, how interesting -- I didn't think cavepeople could read anything that wasn't scrawled on the wall in picture form. Congratulations.

MAGGIE: Touche, Tom Hanks. Give Wilson the volleyball my best.

PETER: I will! I would tell you to give my regards to Old Mrs. Henderson's beloved cats, but I suspect they have shuffled off this mortal coil. In related news, your hairy life preserver smells like Whiskas.

MAGGIE: God, all this passive-aggression is getting me hot.

PETER: Let's clasp hands and think about passion.

MAGGIE: And shaving.

PETER: Sure.

October 24, 2008

Fug or Fab: Kate Bosworth

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While I was on a plane, which is usually -- I confess -- the only time I can force myself to wade through Vogue or Elle, I read an article in one of them about how designers are tripping over themselves to get to Kate Bosworth. It had something to do with her being all tiny and sample-sized yet hip and young and edgy, and unafraid to take risks, and how she exhales pixie dust and rainbows all over the world before sneezing gold. I don't know. It all felt a bit like a worthless puff piece to me, so I tuned most of it out, because let's face it: Other than 21, Kate Bosworth hasn't really done anything lately other than... wear clothes Which is nice work if you can get it, but talk to me when she makes Young Americans II: Slightly Older Americans for The CW, so we can find out if her brother-boyfriend was ACTUALLY related to her or not. Otherwise I'm bored.

But I will give her this: The article was right about her taking risks.

Part of me adores the workmanship and cute cut of this dress, which definitely does flatter her. But there is another big chunk of me that remembers Mr. Snuffleupagus fondly as my favorite Sesame Street character, and wonders WHY, GOD, WHY somebody would shoot him just to turn his pelt into a dress for Kate Bosworth. I don't care how many fluffy articles people write about how they'd die to clothe her -- I refuse to believe Snuffy intended to go out that way. Where's PETA when you need them? Muppets have feelings too, you know.

poll by twiigs.com

October 21, 2008

The Two Fuggers

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So, correct me if I'm wrong, but this is the first step in Gwynnie's attempt to take over Mary-Kate Olsen's identity, right?

First, the long, Goth-y, furry get-ups. Next, the center-parted blond hair. And finally, of course, the sort of sourly pursed lips. Expect soon to see her adopt the following, in no particular order: a Starbucks cup perm-attached to her right hand; a giant purse made of some kind of rare, fuzzy animal; a disregard for pants; a renewed affection for items with holes in them; a very similar -- but more cheerful-looking -- personal hanging around with her on occasion; and, finally, a DeLorean so that she can travel to the past, make a series of movies in which she plays twins who get into hilarious scrapes while on vacation with clueless but loving parents, and emerge a bazillionaire. It's not the worst plan I've ever heard.

Results tagged “fur” from GoFugYourself

Real Housefugs of New York

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Fugdy Fugda

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Fugiola Berafuga

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Fug Angel

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Fugliette Lewfug

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FUGTON

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Fug or Fab: The Weekend Wardrobe of Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham

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Fug, je t'aime

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Fug or Fab: Kate Bosworth

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The Two Fuggers

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