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November 6, 2009

MTV European Music Awards Fug: Beyonce AND Leona Lewis

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I always speak too soon. I put up photos of people on the red carpet -- like Beyonce yesterday, and Leona today -- and then I see that they changed their clothes for the performance portion of the evening. It happens ALL THE TIME and yet I always forget. I am like Jessica Simpson with boys who are guaranteed to break her heart: I NEVER LEARN.

First up: Beyonce's stage attire.

You know, it's... well, it's Beyonce in lingerie. It's not the weirdest thing she's ever worn, nor is it particularly inspired. I guess I just wish she weren't being quite so Christina Aguilera about it all. We've been there. We've seen that. It was dirrrrty. Move along.

Leona Lewis went much bigger for her performance:

Continue reading MTV European Music Awards Fug: Beyonce AND Leona Lewis.

October 16, 2009

Unfug-or-Fab It Up: Rose McGowan

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Obviously, if you're doing something spiffy with the Museum of Arts and Design, you're going to be tempted to wear something very unusual -- something artsy, perhaps, and full of design. I just can't decide what to make of Rose's effort here:

My brain keeps whipsawing between the good and the odd. Tiny waist! Clunky shoes. Interesting neck! Terrible hair. And the skirt gives me pause: On one hand, it makes her look like a martini glass, all boring stem and then an explosion of fun up top. But on the other, what the hell DO you wear with that top? It's like when you try something on at the store and you love it but you don't have a thing that goes with it in your wardrobe, and so you think, "Well, I'll buy the top first and then I'll FIND SOMETHING to wear it with," and then you never do, and suddenly you've never worn it and you really want to and so you just throw any old thing with it and hope for the best.

Now, possibly, that's just sewn to LOOK like it's separates, but I just wonder if it's a waste of an architecturally interesting upper half not to make it a full ball gown, or have it flow into a tight pencil-cut dress. I am gripped with indecision on this fine Friday, and I don't like to end my week under such terrible stress. Indecision is for Wednesdays, people. Because then you get over it and you cake walk through the rest of the week. So help me out here, in sort of a hybrid Fug or Fab and Unfug piece -- talk up its relative merits and demerits in the comments, and let us all know what you'd do if you got to play stylist. Stay on topic, stay friendly, stay on target, stay with me, stay for a while, stay sweet and see you next summer, etc.

poll by twiigs.com

September 21, 2009

Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Drew Barrymore

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I feel bad for anyone who has the itch to design a dress in this basic vein:

I will give it to Drew: As much as I think flesh tones tend to wash out fair ladies like her (and me), her skin looks utterly flawless and porcelain. I'm not crazy about the hair and makeup -- they're a bit flat -- but my less-than-enthused reaction to this dress really isn't her fault. See, unfortunately, anything flesh-toned with an elaborate skirt is doomed to be compared to Penelope Cruz's Oscar dress, which is -- to use the texting parlance the kids love these days -- the OMG version of what Drew is wearing. The above is pretty, but it will always lose. Like, yeah, the Wakefield twins are super pretty, but poor, sweet, deaf ex-model Regina Morrow, who got her hearing back only to kick it after a broken heart drove her to experiment with cocaine? She was BEAUTIFUL. Ask anyone. So while there's nothing wrong with being a Wakefield -- I mean, you're still ALIVE and everything, and you own an awful lot of mini-skirts -- you never did make it onto the cover of Ingenue and you never were able to turn caddish Bruce Patman into a nice guy, so...

poll by twiigs.com

September 3, 2009

Daytime Emmy Awards Random Fug: Rachel Zeskind

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It's little wonder I've never heard of Rachel Zeskind.

Until today, no one had seen hide nor hair of her since her job as the hostess at the incredibly ill-conceived and unpopular Sea World Sushi Lounge.

May 19, 2009

Fugovision Fug Contest: The Final Fug

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VICTORY IN OUR TIME! We got our grubby hands on some Eurovision pictures, so we can share the assorted horrors of the international song contest with you. This is how the prospect of this post makes me feel:

Incidentally, this man is Greece's entry, Sakis Rouvas. His Wikipedia page describes him as both a musical act AND a former pole-vaulter. He also reportedly ripped open his shirt as part of his performance.... and yet he's seriously one of the more BORING people from the night.

For instance, this is NOTHING compared to the thunder brought by Albania:

Continue reading Fugovision Fug Contest: The Final Fug.

May 13, 2009

Fug or Fab: Elizabeth Banks

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For a while, I decided I really didn't like Elizabeth Banks -- mostly because I read a really annoying article with her where she kept talking about how awesome her own face is -- but it's hard to sustain that level of annoyance when there is actually nothing else really annoying about the person. She was amusing in Role Models and I haven't got the energy to sustain disdain for no reason any more. Old age has worn me down and I have too many other things to think about now: what is going to happen on One Tree Hill without CMM? Why is Ben McKenzie so cute in his police uniform on Southland? Where did I put my keys? And so forth. So here's Elizabeth "Sure, I'll See What Happens With You" Banks in Cannes:

That is a LOT of dress. I both like it and think it might be too overwhelming, especially since it so perfectly matches the red carpet that it seems like it NEVER ENDS. And I'm not a huge fan of the one strap: either be strapless, or have straps. Make up your mind, dress.

poll by twiigs.com

May 6, 2009

Met Ball Fug Carpet: Shalom Harlow

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I am so pleased Shalom Harlow wore this, because it almost broke my brain in the most gleeful way.

It reminds me a bit of when I was little, and I'd want to play a game in which I was a princess and/or some sort of bride (but not The Princess Bride, because that came out later), so I'd grab the comforter off my bed and wrap it around myself and parade around my bedroom while wondering if I could still reasonably sing songs from Annie if I were dressed as royalty.

And of COURSE Shalom is wearing footless tights underneath all that fabric -- God forbid she show any ANKLE. It's just so much. SO MUCH. Is she secretly pregnant everywhere but her hands, the arch of her foot, and her neck? Did she maybe get a really hideous tattoo recently while inebriated, and is refusing to expose any inch of herself until she's gone through the lengthy and agonizing removal process? Is she going to throw off the outerwear and perform a solo from Cats to show off that her new anti-perspirant totally passed the sweat-stain test? WHAT ARE YOU HIDING, SHALOM?

May 6, 2009

Met Ball Fug-or-Fab Carpet: Kate Beckinsale

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go big or go home

I will say this about Kate Beckinsale: Even if it's not actually true, it feels like she shows up to everything -- no matter what level of formality it is -- in a strapless satin dress that's usually accompanied by an elaborately Prom-esque updo, so I'm pleased she went more over-the-top for the Met Ball.

In some senses, I really like this, because I totally understand why a girl might want to wear a giant skirt and train to a huge event: Where else in your life can you do it? It's not like you can wear it to the supermarket, or to yoga, or to pick up your kid at school -- well, unless you want all the other parents to conspire to lock you in the trunk of a very small vehicle with shitty suspension and take you for a quick ride around town.

But I can't decide how I feel about this PARTICULAR elaborately beskirted dress. The colors are interesting, but the top part does feel a bit like a lazily bedazzled tank, which is slowly being devoured by a sea creature from the treacherous deep. And it's also unfortunately VERY challenging to wear a dress in this vein without being compared to the benchmark of giant-traindom, Penelope Cruz's 2007 Versace from the Oscars:

Continue reading Met Ball Fug-or-Fab Carpet: Kate Beckinsale.

May 4, 2009

Logie's Fug Carpet Omnibus

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So, this weekend, the Logies were held in Australia. If I understand it correctly, the Logies are sort of like if the Emmys had a baby with the People's Choice Awards: they're all TV-based, and the public votes, but it seems more prestigious than the People's Choice Awards? I'm sure if I'm wrong, one of our lovely Aussie readers will set me straight. Many of those readers, in fact, emailed us to make sure we took a look at the red carpet from the Logies and...yes. You were correct that we needed to do that.

With no further ado:

Oh, Carson. You are magical. Never change. Someone who ought to have changed, though, is this young lady:

Continue reading Logie's Fug Carpet Omnibus.

February 25, 2009

Oscar Well-Played Carpet: Miley Cyrus

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go big or go home

Yes, that's right, you read the headline correctly -- this is probably going to be a really unpopular opinion, but I don't care. I am going to defend Miley Cyrus' Oscar dress. Because the more I read how much people hated it, the more I'm like, "... Wow, I really didn't think it was that bad at ALL."

To do it, though, I'm going to start with what she wore last year. Remember this?

At the time a lot of critics -- including me, and I still stand by it -- thought this was overly aging. Like she was trying to be a demure 25-year old, and while I appreciate the instinct not to skank it up at her first-ever Oscars and ESPECIALLY at her young age, it came off more like she borrowed a dress from her mother. Under extreme duress. At the time Miley was 15 and whether you like her or not, she's got a really lively personality. She banters with Ryan Seacrest better than people twice her age, even if occasionally that banter is about how bummed she is that she got a hand-me-down Porsche for her birthday. (I mean, I hope she can also have her tight diamond shoes stretched so they don't give her blisters -- seriously, I've had the same Honda since I was 20, and I just found out the front undercarriage is being held together by a coat hanger. For real. I have no idea how it happened.) Yet somehow she hits this oddly entertaining combo of acting her age AND being personable, and this dress really wastes that.

So, now let's jump ahead to this year's Oscars and take a gander at what she picked:

Continue reading Oscar Well-Played Carpet: Miley Cyrus.

Results tagged “go big or go home” from GoFugYourself

MTV European Music Awards Fug: Beyonce AND Leona Lewis

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Unfug-or-Fab It Up: Rose McGowan

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Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Drew Barrymore

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Daytime Emmy Awards Random Fug: Rachel Zeskind

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Fugovision Fug Contest: The Final Fug

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Fug or Fab: Elizabeth Banks

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Met Ball Fug Carpet: Shalom Harlow

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Met Ball Fug-or-Fab Carpet: Kate Beckinsale

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Logie's Fug Carpet Omnibus

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Oscar Well-Played Carpet: Miley Cyrus

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