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November 13, 2009

CMA Awards 'You The Jury' Fug: Carrie Underwood Omnibus

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It wouldn't be a country music awards gala if Carrie Underwood didn't wear eleventy-four different outfits through the course of the night. So, people of the jury, get comfortable in your chairs and prepare to sift through the evidence to determine whether a crime was committed. You may deliberate in the comments.

Exhibit A:

The prosecution frowns that this mirrored dress mostly eliminates her waist, and reflects the red carpet in such a way that it becomes an artistic interpretation of internal bleeding. The defense snorts that the prosecutors are all a bunch of Crabby McCrabbersons, and puts in a call to some wig vendors to see about replicating this coif, because it's cute, and so is she. The prosecution wonders if this would've been better at knee length, but quiets down when one of the defense attorneys tries to take a pair of scissors to her jeans in order to prove the point that not EVERYTHING needs to be knee-length, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Exhibit B:

Continue reading CMA Awards 'You The Jury' Fug: Carrie Underwood Omnibus.

November 10, 2009

Who Fugged It More: Mary Alice Stephenson or Katherine Heigl

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Remember the time Katherine Heigl wore this? And we all chatted about it at length and it was so fun?

Well, except maybe for Katie. Whatever, she can go cry on a pile of cash and then go kick Dempsey in the shins, or whatever she does when she's feeling persecuted. ANYWAY, someone's trotted that old girl out again. I'd pretend it was a MYSTERY who, but her name's in the title up there. See?

Continue reading Who Fugged It More: Mary Alice Stephenson or Katherine Heigl.

October 21, 2009

Fug or Snore: Hilary Swank

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green

First of all, am I the only person that thinks this Amelia Earhart movie looks like a total snooze? I might be biased because I kind of hate Hilary Swank's hair in it -- which I know is historically accurate, so I should just shut it -- and her accent in the trailer sounds like she is having problems talking around a mouthful of fake teeth. Or maybe it's just all the scenery in her mouth. (You know that I'll probably LOVE IT after I see it, right? My first impressions are nearly always wrong.) So, I know that I am deeply biased in thinking this is also a snoreathon:

I mean, okay, look: the dress is gorgeous, ostensibly. I can't really say anything bad about it. It's pretty. I just feel like there's no HERE HERE. There's no THERE THERE. There's no ANYTHING ANYWHERE. Girlfriend needs some jewelry or...something. Before I lose consciousness.

poll by twiigs.com

October 12, 2009

Well Played, Emmy Rossum

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green,
ruffles

It certainly is interesting that Emmy Rossum is suddenly everywhere, in the wake of the Public Divorce from her Secret Husband. I'd hypothesize that she's looking for Secret Husband Number Two, but she's dating Adam Duritz and neither one of them is being secretive about it, perhaps because that relationship has gotten them more press than either of them has had in years. Don't you feel like Ex-Mr-Rossum is sitting at home reading People, and being like, "REALLY? THAT GUY? FROM COUNTING CROWS? Huh." Which is part of the reason I would not want to be a celebrity. In addition to bitches making fun of my awesome outfits, I'd have to see my ex-boyfriends splashed on the front of US Weekly, all "HE FINALLY SETTLES DOWN," while I'm just trying to buy a Slurpee. But as much as I have enjoyed cracking on La Rossum in the past, I must admit that I think this is rather pretty:

I like the color, the ruffle is sort of visually intriguing, it fits her nicely, and the styling is refreshingly understated. She neither looks like a doll, nor as though she just stumbled off the pole. Points to Rossum. THIS time. Enjoy it while it last, kid.

October 7, 2009

Fug or Fab: Kristen Bell

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green,
metallics

Kristen Bell just trotted out something fresh from Marchesa's Spring 2010 presentation, and it's got me a tad indecisive.

Pro: It doesn't make her look stumpy.

Con: It does make her look bandaged.

Pro: It's intricate!

Con: It looks like it's a magician's assistant who accidentally swallowed the magic scarf and just sneezed it to freedom.

Pro: I love the restrained styling everywhere else.

Con: I don't have her shoulders.

Pro: I could maybe get her shoulders if I exercised more.

Con: That's so not happening.

Pro: Oh, really? You can't find ten minutes at night to do some push-ups or something before bed?

Con: Shut up.

poll by twiigs.com

September 22, 2009

Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Sarah McLachlan

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green,
WTF

My favorite part of any awards show is the dead-person montage, because it always gives me goosebumps. I don't know, I guess it feels like a final farewell -- like you're not really gone in Hollywood until your image has appeared during a telecast with audience applause and a really sad song behind it. Sniffle. And Sarah McLachlan sang a lovely rendition of "I Will Remember You" under this year's Emmy montage -- Bea Arthur, I WILL remember you, glorious lady -- so I don't mean to undercut the power of her moment, but...

There are many things wrong here, not least of which is that her chest appears to be a furry tribute to the glories of the large intestine. And it's hard to contemplate my grief AND my plumbing at the same time.

September 15, 2009

Well Played, Diane Kruger

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green

Lordy, Diane Kruger is busy. She just got off the Inglourious Basterds carousel (and WHAT is with my pathological inability to hit the 'D' key correctly whenever I type that movie's name? I had to fix it TWICE) and now she's in Venice promoting something called Mr. Nobody. Thank God she probably has people sending her free clothes by the trunkload, because between acting and promoting things and then getting freaky with her maybe-fiance, I don't know when she'd ever have time to go shopping.

I love this. I kind of want to try it on, except I know how it would go: I would get starry-eyed and excited and then put it on and realize that there's no way in hell I could pull it off without a bra, and then I'd yell at my boobs for a bit, and then apologize to them and take them out to a nice lunch. You know, as one does. But it's all adorable on her and it reminds me that I need to get reincarnated next time as a person with an unlimited wardrobe budget and legs for days. Must put that on my to-do list.

Also... I don't usually like bringing this up, but because I know we'll get a shitload of e-mails about it, because that happens any time we show a photo of a woman who DARES to have any kind of natural flesh folds at all around her armpits, I am compelled to say: THOSE MOTHERF'ERS HAPPEN. To EVERYONE. Or at least everyone who has flesh. FLESH IS NOT A FLAW. Thank you. The end.

September 3, 2009

Fug or Fab: Kimberly Wyatt

Fug file:

green,
ruffles

I am loving Kimberly Wyatt lately -- not for her clothes so much as for the fact that I think she is making a strong play for Fug Madness inclusion, and who doesn't love some new Fug Madness blood? In fact, I find myself spending a fair amount of time wondering which upstart will upset Lohan next? (Poor Lindsay: can't even get to the final four in Fug Madness. Things would really turn around for her on all kinds of fronts if she would just make an effort.) Like, look at this:

[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

It's both kind of great AND kind of crazy. It's gorgeous...and it has muttonchops. It would be rather dull without the ruffled fabric sideburns....but it's lunacy with them. I love it...and I find it ridiculous. TELL ME HOW TO FEEL.

poll by twiigs.com

August 31, 2009

Daytime Emmy Awards Unfug It Up: Molly Burnett

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green,
soap stars

Ah, a girl's first Daytime Emmy Awards. Such a special, unforgettable time.

Special because she gets to go and mingle with industry luminaries -- and they DO EXIST, people; Susan Lucci does not get to be the personification of Awards Show Failure by being a dim light in entertainment -- and unforgettable because someday Molly will look at this photo and think, "Well. Whoever suggested I hide the dirt on my hem by pinning the outer layer to my underpants was an IDIOT." The poor kid also suffers from Boobs Akimbo Syndrome and its dastardly relative, Wonky Waist Detail Disease. I'll see her name-calling of the person who suggested this outfit, and raise her a serious finger wagging at whoever unlocked the limo doors.

What would you do to fix this, Fug Nation? I think the silly second hemline should be nixed, and then it needs refitting along the bust. I also might get rid of the studded waist, because it looks kind of like a cheap bracelet you'd buy at an open-air stand along a beach boardwalk. But that's just one idea. Put on your Rachel Zoe caftans and have your way with this outfit. You know the rules: Stay on topic, be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes.

August 7, 2009

Unfug It Up: Katherine Heigl

Fug file:

green,
sequins

Well, at least Katherine Heigl has that face. Because no matter how enamored, ambivalent, or indecisive I am about her wardrobe, there is no disputing that her genes are enviable. I mean, she wore a bald cap and a scarf for most of Grey's Anatomy's late-season episodes, and managed to be radiant. The woman doesn't even NEED HAIR to look beautiful. That's just not fair to the rest of us.

I'm not sure I can be as nice about this dress, though:

At first, I rather liked it -- there's something appealingly retro about it, as if she's about to go talking it up on The Barry Gibb Talk Show (indeed, I would love to hear her thoughts on crazy gold medallions) before busting out some "Night Fever" dance moves as Gerard Butler sashays around her in white bellbottoms.

But then, gripped with writer's block, I kept staring at it. And "appealingly retro" turned into "my Aunt Ethel dug this out of her closet and wore this to Christmas Mass because she decided she'd been single long enough." You know how much I love when celebs wear bold shades, so it pains me to say this, but the medium-green sequins ended up reeking a bit more of fromage -- or Ben Gay -- than I expected. And then I noticed that the huge sleeve seems like it's tucked into the waist ribbon; that the bodice kind of makes her chest look droopy in a way that it most assuredly is not; and that the hem hits her leg in an awkward spot. For me it's hot-adjacent, but somehow not quite all the way there.

[Sidebar: Is it just me, or is her hair reddish now? I usually love redheads in green. Maybe I'm not sure I love Katherine as a redhead. Something to ponder, since fairly recently I thought I liked her better with darker hair. Clearly I do not know my own mind.]

I'd be curious to see this in a different color -- a metallic, perhaps, or maybe a dark red -- hemmed about two inches higher, with her (blonde again, I think) hair flowing loose around her face to offset the Eau d' Aunt Ethel that's shrouding this for me.

What would you do? Have at it in the comments, and remember to keep it on-topic, keep it friendly, and keep your hands out of the disposal.

Results tagged “green” from GoFugYourself

CMA Awards 'You The Jury' Fug: Carrie Underwood Omnibus

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Who Fugged It More: Mary Alice Stephenson or Katherine Heigl

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Fug or Snore: Hilary Swank

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Well Played, Emmy Rossum

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Fug or Fab: Kristen Bell

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Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Sarah McLachlan

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Well Played, Diane Kruger

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Fug or Fab: Kimberly Wyatt

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Daytime Emmy Awards Unfug It Up: Molly Burnett

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Unfug It Up: Katherine Heigl

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