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November 16, 2009

Fug's Anatomy

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harem pants

Hi Sandra! Nice to see you, too!

Don't forget to collect your cutlass from the Weaponry and Coat Check at the end of the evening! If someone tries to steal your doubloons, you're going to need something with which to swash your buckle.

October 29, 2009

The Blind Fug

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I love Sandra Bullock, and every time I see an ad for her new movie The Blind Side, in which she and her family take in an homeless orphaned football player who's never had his own bed, and he -- I presume -- teaches them a valuable lesson about family in the course of earning a college scholarship, I totally tear up. I CAN'T HELP IT. Homeless kid + football + valuable lesson about love + nontraditional family coming together = me crying. Of course, I also used to cry BUCKETS at this one Whirlpool commercial that featured like 20 seconds of an old couple smiling at each other as they loaded the dishwasher, so I'm an easy mark. I cry at everything. I cried at the DEDICATION in the final Harry Potter book. But still. I want nice things for Sandy, is what I'm saying. Which is why I am concerned that she's wearing a harem pants jumpsuit on Craig Ferguson:

[Photos: FlynetOnline.com]

Why would you DO THAT, Sandy?

Continue reading The Blind Fug.

October 1, 2009

Run This Fug

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Let's take stock of what's happening here with RiRi:

....actually, taking stock of what's going on here would require my ability to find the nouns to describe each of these pieces. Is that top a bra? Abutting a Units-like lace piece? Or...a bustier-like undergarment? Is the bra attached to the lace piece attached to the harem pants, in some truly HORRIFYING re-imagining of the old The Hip Bone's Connected to The Thigh Bone song, except the things that are connected are every part of her outfit and the only bones involved are the ones to which I am chilled?

July 10, 2009

Fug Another Day

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Heather and I just admitted to each other that we were both literally unable to accept the fact that Rosamund Pike here is wearing....knickers.

We were like, "that's totally a skirt, right? Like, an UGLY, UGLY skirt?" But, no. These are instead the ugliest harem pants ever created by human hands. In fact, I think they might have been created by INHUMAN hands. Yes, that's right. I just floated the theory that Satan spends his spare time kicking back down in Hell, stitching wee pieces of picnic tablecloth to diaphanous white material, and cackling about the retina-searing, soul-inflaming, leg-havoc they will unleash on any weak mortal foolish enough to don them, and the accompanying horror that will wash over any innocent bystanders to said donning. AND APPARENTLY HE WAS RIGHT.

The rest of this is terrible too, but I can't really see it all that well. SINCE I'M BLIND NOW.

April 24, 2009

National Treasure: Book of Fugs

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harem pants

I just had the following conversation with Heather:

ME: I think I'm going to fug Diane K in her harem knickers at that Chanel event.

HEATHER: Oh, I haven't seen that yet.

ME: It will not surprise you to hear that she looks okay in them, except that they're essentially kind of stupid pants and nobody really looks ACTUALLY okay in them.

HEATHER: You're right. That does not surprise me.

What else is there to say? These harem knickers are fundamentally ridiculous. They are ridiculous the way the sky is blue. And she does look kind of okay in them, which is not to say that they themselves are at all, in any way, fundamentally okay. Her looking okay in them is a riddle wrapped up in a mystery clothed in an enigma. Too brain-twisty for Friday afternoon, if nothing else, and, ergo, a conundrum I refuse to further contemplate.

Results tagged “harem pants” from GoFugYourself

Fug's Anatomy

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The Blind Fug

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Run This Fug

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Fug Another Day

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National Treasure: Book of Fugs

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