Search Results

October 5, 2009

Fug, Where's My Car?

Fug file:

Surely, this dress Kristy Swanson is wearing stemmed from some kind of bet:

Like, I can see two designers -- who perhaps went to FIT or Parsons together -- having a long-standing routine in which one calls the other and challenges her to create a seemingly impossible garment. Like Project Runway, but crazier and without the celebrity judges and product placement. This dress was clearly born when Designer One called Designer Two and said, "bet you can't make an armed-forces themed evening dress with a can-can influence in which you could be rendered invisible should a sand storm kick up, and get someone to wear it." GAME ON, DESIGNER ONE.

August 12, 2009

The Fug Element

Fug file:

You know how you say of someone particularly chic/beautiful/fit/possessed of an enviable je ne sais quoi, "she'd look good in a barrel?" Well, I generally feel that Milla here would probably look decent in a barrel. I might not approve of the cut of said barrel and I certainly wouldn't endorse barrel-wearing, nor would I believe that, of everything else in her closet, the barrel was Milla's most inspired choice, but you know what I mean. You smell what I'm cooking. You appreciate the barrel of monkeys I'm unpacking over here.

Because what is written on the side of this particular barrel is, "Not Even Milla Jovovich Can Pull This Off; Look On My Works, Ye Mighty, AND DESPAIR." This is, I believe, what the kids refer to as a hot mess.

July 9, 2009

Tayfug Fugsen

Fug file:

I'm wondering if the same people on Gossip Girl who are sabotaging Blake Lively ALSO have a little bit of a hate-on for Taylor Momsen. Check out what she wore on-set recently:

[All Photos: Splash News]

It would seem Little J's plot this season could be all about how she spent her summer vacation as the semi-slutty mechanic's aide who likes to shove wrenches suggestively into her hot-pants pockets, and then check the oil over and over again with that erotic dipstick. Maybe she'll even relaunch her fashion line to be geared toward grease-monkeys who just want to give the guys in the tire-rotation trenches something to feel good about every day.

I don't feel good at all about this next piece, though:

Continue reading Tayfug Fugsen.

July 2, 2009

The Fugliful Life

Fug file:

Oh, Mischa. You are right to be afraid.

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Just LOOK AT YOURSELF. You resemble ten miles of rough road that leads straight to a biker bar with a Forever 21 in the back room. Which actually might be kind of delightful on a night out, but not if it means wearing cheaply beaded hot pants and a bowler hat. That's too Cabaret Recessionista for me.

April 27, 2009

Jodie Fugsh

Fug file:

Jodie Marsh is no stranger to our site, which you will see here -- except for that second entry, which just contains a link, we've put up many a photo of Jodie's exploits. Believe it or not, she's now basically the tacky version of her former blood-rival Katie Price. And I do not use that phrase lightly, as Katie Price is the Mayor of Tackytown. But Jodie Marsh runs the town's local brothel.

[Photos: WENN.com]

Here she is giving us a taste of what's to come, and if you've ever encountered this passionate nudist before, you know the strip of pelvic flesh winking at you from above her leggings is but a minor taste of what's to come. And that is, as you may have guessed, TECHNICALLY probably safe for work but still not something you should look at if your boss is on his or her way over to demand cover sheets for your TPS reports.

Or to put it another way, Jodie apparently once wrote a column for Zoo Weekly, which Wikipedia tells me is a British lad mag, but which I prefer to interpret as a publication you'd see a bunch of chimps, a hippo, and a lemur poring through on a Friday night and giggling at how Jodie just refuses to keep HER animals in their cages:

Continue reading Jodie Fugsh.

April 24, 2009

Fugiola Berafuga

Fug file:

FABIOLA BERACASA: I am here. WHERE is Karl? I must see him.

JULIA RESTOIN-ROITFELD: I wonder why I agreed to stand with this person.

FABIOLA: Take me to him. He will adore this. He will spread me on a cracker and serve me with pate.

JULIA: Seriously, has she not heard of moderation? A velvet dress that looks like she drew a chalk suit-jacket on it, a coat made of Cher's old wigs, a metal glove AND a ring, and yet more flesh-colored leggings? Has she lost her mind? And do I look like I APPROVE of it by hanging out with her?

FABIOLA: I will say, "Karl, I liked this, so I put a ring on it," and he will high-five my aluminum hand and baptise me in champagne.

JULIA: I'm just going to pretend I'm not here. I'm in Tahiti... I'm in Tahiti... I'm in Tahiti...

April 1, 2009

Fugadise

Fug file:

So, about two years ago, I had this GREAT IDEA. The first season of A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila had just aired its finale, and we were talking about what MTV could do to continue the series (as Tila had obviously found her one true love). And my idea was that, OBVIOUSLY, the next season would be, A Shot At Love With Tara Reid. And SERIOUSLY. I so stand by that idea. Look at this girl: she is perfect for that show:

I do not know what is going on with this dress, but somehow it has conspired to make her boobs look like they belong to a hippie octogenarian, who has sixty years of bralessness and the inescapable specter of gravity to thank for her droopy lady lumps. Listen, with any luck, all of us ladies will EVENTUALLY find ourselves in a situation where we look down at our heaving bosoms and think, "Dang, those used to ride higher than this." And then we will realize that the price you pay for a long, full life is slightly saggier body parts and we'll pour ourselves another cocktail and go tell the pool boy not to miss that section under the diving board again. But Tara Reid is like 30 years old. SHE IS TOO YOUNG FOR...whatever is happening here. Is girlfriend depressed? I have the prescription for that: CLEARLY she needs to hoist those mamas up and get in front of the TV camera, where a household of men and women (if she so chooses) competes for her love. You KNOW she would do it. You KNOW other people would go on this show. And you KNOW you would watch. Tara Reid would find love/media attention, MTV would have another successful season of a popular show, and we'd all have a marathon of something to watch while we have the flu. EVERYBODY WINS!

March 17, 2009

Mary-Fug Fugsen

Fug file:

hot messes

The shadows in this photo are, quite by accident, brilliant -- as if the darkness is literally AND figuratively preparing to devour Mary-Kate with its inky maw:

Although the jazzy witch's robes aren't much new for her, here she looks especially devious and crabby, like she's two seconds away from mugging you on the offchance you've got some contraband spleen of platypus in your purse. My main concern, though, is everything from the neck up -- the hair that looks like a Blake Lively wig sample that's been crammed into a plastic bag at Aah's for two months, and the way the crimpson lips and the eye makeup wash out the poor kid and suggest she's in dire need of a healing nap. Do we need an intervention to keep Mary-Kate here from turning into Courtney Love? You'd think reading through our archives would be enough, so perhaps we'll have them bound and shipped to her manager under the title Refried Ass: The Courtney Love Fashion Story, or How To Lose Your Shit In Ten Days. Or perhaps something simpler, like, Um, NO. Hopefully that will do it.

March 16, 2009

Sweet Fugs

Fug file:

I know I used to hate her, but it's gotten to the point that I just want to take poor Jessica Simpson under my wing and take care of her. And then shake her and demand to know why no one loves her enough to HIRE HER A COMPETENT STYLIST:

[Photo: Splash News]

You'd think after all the ridiculous uproar over her admittedly INCREDIBLY HEINOUS MOM-JEANS, Team Simpson would have had an emergency pow-wow and realized they needed to get poor Jess -- formerly the jewel in their money-making crown -- some help. Girlfriend CAN NOT DEAL with putting clothes on her bod, and if this is in fact the work of a paid professional, said professional needs to be fired like a flame-broiled Whopper. Giant platform heels + white corset + flannel + Spearsian-style, over-taxed cut-offs = FAIL. Let's all visualize for a moment: put J Simp in jeans (flattering, regular jeans) and she's already looking sixty-five percent better. Daisy Dukes are not ALWAYS the answer, no matter what movie roles you've played. Won't someone STEP IN and give this girl a hand?

February 2, 2009

DGA Awards Fug Carpet: Virginia Madsen

Fug file:

So, when I was a young girl, I had a subscription to Seventeen and also, of course, to Sassy. Can I just take a minute and reflect on how much I loved Sassy? I wish I'd kept all my issues of it, but obviously I was not to know that fifteen years later I would think to myself, "I really wish I still had that issue of Sassy where they mentioned that hitting yourself in the mouth with a brick is not a good substitute for collagen injections, or the one where Evan Dando gives his recipe for tacos, or the one where Tori Spelling gives the writer a tour of her condo and the writer is like clearly really kind of unimpressed by how dumb Tori is, but then grudgingly admits she seems kind of nice." But this is not about Sassy. It is about how when I was, say, fifteen -- which seems to be the ideal age to READ Seventeen, at least then -- one of the spring issues of Seventeen would be devoted entirely to the prom, and it would come complete with like SERIOUSLY FIFTEEN PAGES of an ad buy from some large-scale purveyor of prom dresses. This was stuck in the middle of the magazine almost like a little catalog. It was AWESOME, in part because many of the dresses were CRAZY. They were all very shiny, for one thing -- often overlaid with black lace -- and there was ALWAYS at least two that came with a hoop skirt. And I am pretty sure that probably long-dead Promatorium provided Virginia Madsen's dress here:

If only she had a matching parasol, then I would be POSITIVE.

Results tagged “hot messes” from GoFugYourself

Fug, Where's My Car?

Fug file:

The Fug Element

Fug file:

Tayfug Fugsen

Fug file:

The Fugliful Life

Fug file:

Jodie Fugsh

Fug file:

Fugiola Berafuga

Fug file:

Fugadise

Fug file:

Mary-Fug Fugsen

Fug file:

Sweet Fugs

Fug file:

DGA Awards Fug Carpet: Virginia Madsen

Fug file:

Search

Fug Favorites

Featured Fugger

The Book of fug

Subscribe to GFY