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September 18, 2009

Andy Richter Fugs The Universe

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hot pants

We here at GFY love Paget Brewster. She's way underrated in the industry, she seems like a fun person, and she once e-mailed us to say that her infamous fish purse was actually a cooler she bought at Rite Aid. Our kind of girl.

But:

[Photo: WENN.com]

We are not as enthusiastic about her black satin loincloth, which MIGHT be a skort of some kind. Unless it turns out she bought THIS from the cooler aisle at Rite Aid, too. Then we might have to applaud. Because hot pants that keep beer cold would be a national treasure and a victory for mankind over physics.

July 28, 2009

Fugly Perry

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You know, I was all set with a longer post about the various gag-inducing, brain-bursting sins of wearing a droopy hot-pants romper with a bunch of wrist bands from two nightclubs and one rave she had to get to by exchanging an egg.

[Photo: Splash News]

But I really think Katy Perry's facial expression says it all.

July 22, 2009

Fuglycat Dolls

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I never understood why everyone flipped out about Kate Gosselin's haircut. Yes, it's not great, but it's also not the first of its kind. Posh Spice did it long before the reverse-mullet was even a glint in Kate's eye, and even Kimberly Wyatt -- who I know is of The Pussycat Dolls only because that's what the Internet keeps insisting -- beat her to it.

Hopefully this is not an ongoing pattern for them wherein Kate picks up their messy thirds. Because we all know Posh has gone pantsless before, and sure enough, here comes Kimmy:

[Photo: Splash News]

That's not a shirt. That's two flannel pillowcases pinned together at the shoulders. I've seen infants in more full-coverage outfits, and half of their ensembles involve the word "Pampers." Please, Kate Gosselin, do not pick up this cue from your hair twin. I already accidentally saw paparazzi photos of you flashing your underwear; I do not need any more of you (or your odious ex) in my life.

But, back to Kimberly Wyatt: Based on the facial expression of the woman behind her, I have a sneaking suspicion that Kimberly here is using those tights as trousers, espousing the tragic "you can't spell 'panty hose' without 'pants'" school of thought. Let's take a look-see:

Continue reading Fuglycat Dolls.

July 9, 2009

Tayfug Fugsen

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I'm wondering if the same people on Gossip Girl who are sabotaging Blake Lively ALSO have a little bit of a hate-on for Taylor Momsen. Check out what she wore on-set recently:

[All Photos: Splash News]

It would seem Little J's plot this season could be all about how she spent her summer vacation as the semi-slutty mechanic's aide who likes to shove wrenches suggestively into her hot-pants pockets, and then check the oil over and over again with that erotic dipstick. Maybe she'll even relaunch her fashion line to be geared toward grease-monkeys who just want to give the guys in the tire-rotation trenches something to feel good about every day.

I don't feel good at all about this next piece, though:

Continue reading Tayfug Fugsen.

September 17, 2008

90210: The Fug Class

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So, it's about time we addressed the giant, poorly acted, psychedelic (yet somehow still dull) elephant in the room: The 90210 reincarnation. It may not shock you to hear that Jessica and I cherish the old show, in that we-loved-it-in-its-prime/we-lovingly-mock-it-now/oh-my-God-Emily-Valentine-just-put-U4EA-in-Brandon's-drink-this-can't-end-well/please-David-stop-singing kind of way. But even the addition of Brenda and Kelly (and Jessica Walter playing Lucille Bluth on muscle-relaxants) cannot save the new class.

The show is SO BAD. Like, wow. Last week was about bowling. I'm not even kidding. NOTHING HAPPENS. All the characters are boring, and their conversations are excruciating. About a third of the scenes play out thusly: "Hey." "Hey." "Haven't seen you." "I've been around. How are you?" "Fine." "Well, uh, how's your brother?" "Good." It's like the most terrible, dry raw footage from the world's worst reality show, replete with as many local cultural references shoehorned in there as possible: "I've got tickets to Sea Wolf at Spaceland." "Remember when we were at the L.A. Zoo?" "So, Vampire Weekend is playing a secret show at the Avalon..." "Oh, they just finished renovating the Mark Taper Forum and it's really become a fantastic space." My husband turned to me during last night's episode and said, "It feels like this show is written by L.A. Weekly."

And the clothes. The CLOTHES. Maybe these people would have more interesting conversations if they weren't filled with obvious self-loathing about their wardrobes. Take, for instance, Naomi -- a.k.a. the character played by Drunkface, a.k.a. AnnaLynne McCord. (As always, apologies for the poor quality of the photos.) Now, Drunkface spends most of her time in these episodes stomping into rooms wearing ridiculous shorts and twitching while she plays the exact same story point over and over again.

Here, for example, she has donned her very best bloomers and French-Revolution Aristocrat In Prison shirt in order to tell her mother that Mr. Drunkface is having an affair. The ruffles spill forth from her chest like painful truths from her soul.

Contrast that with the scene in which she stomps into her mother's bedroom to whine about Mr. Drunkface's indiscretion -- a deeply emotional moment for which she chose to dress like a call girl:

Continue reading 90210: The Fug Class.

September 8, 2008

VMAs Fug Carpet: Katy Perry

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DUDE. We GET IT, Katy Perry. You're WHIMSICAL. You KISSED A GIRL! You think your ex is "so gay" because he has a scarf from H&M or something, according to the lyrics of your other single, all of which indicates a kind of very shallow take on sexual politics. You are coy! And twee! You probably have a lollipop in your bag right now! You always dress like the girl on the side of some hot WWII-era fighter pilot's plane. WE KNOW.

WE SO KNOW. Now, for the love of fishnet stockings and all they've managed to stand for over the years in this great country of ours, PUT. ON. SOME. PANTS. And maybe a top -- I think I can see your nipple here.

August 15, 2008

Random Fug: Alice Dellal

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Google tells me this sometimes-model is mainly a "punk rock party girl." I would say that's apt:

[Photo: INFDaily.com]

This is one of those photos that I would put in a 2008 time capsule, so that in 30 years people will go, "Ripped nylons as pants? Are you f'ing KIDDING ME?" And I'll be like, "I KNOW, it didn't make any sense THEN, EITHER, and yet it HAPPENED." Too bad Alice didn't leave it back in 2005, which is where the Olsens buried this trend; it's doubly weird because the top half of her looks like she popped in for a day of home-building do-gooding on, like, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, and then shacked up with Ty Pennington and crawled off in his coat.

But here is my real question: If a tree falls in the forest, and you're not around to see it because you're too busy finding a pair of shorts that will be completely obscured by your pastel plaid shirt, do they still count as shorts?

June 10, 2008

Fugwatch

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You have to applaud Pamela Anderson's consistency. The woman is so committed to her melon shelf that I am burying the photo after the jump, just in case you have children cavorting around or you're at work and your boss has a strict No Nipples policy.

Continue reading Fugwatch.

May 2, 2008

Fug Ling

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How can you not fall in love with this?

I know. It's crazy. It's complicated. It's custom-made. It's the costume from the show-stopping closer to Act One of Kiss of the Spiderwoman II: This Time, It's Way Less Metaphorical! It might also be shorts.

And it appears Bai is wearing her Message Band-Aids again. Let's take a closer look at them, shall we?

Continue reading Fug Ling.

January 12, 2006

Globe Fever: Classic Fug

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The day Sharon Stone stops thinking she's every man's dominatrix fantasy is the day Courtney Peldon wins a Golden Globe. Look at this woman -- she's a nutjob, and proud of it. Are those her nipples I can see through that shiny armor? Are those hot pants she's wearing under those strips of filmy fabric?

You know what? It doesn't matter. They are what she says they are, because she makes the rules, you weak little maggot, so get down on your knees and beg mommy for a cookie before she rips out a hunk of your hair and spanks you with a slice of Honeybaked Ham.

Results tagged “hot pants” from GoFugYourself

Andy Richter Fugs The Universe

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Fugly Perry

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Fuglycat Dolls

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Tayfug Fugsen

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90210: The Fug Class

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VMAs Fug Carpet: Katy Perry

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Random Fug: Alice Dellal

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Fugwatch

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Fug Ling

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Globe Fever: Classic Fug

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