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September 17, 2009

Cate Blanchfugtt

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It's an admirable effort from a sassy lady, but no amount of vamping can change the fact that Cate Blanchett is wearing a throw somebody's grandmother crocheted in 1974 and which has lived on the basement sofa ever since.

For real, there are probably several people out there reading this and going, "Hot damn, I lost my virginity on that dress." At least it appears Cate Blanchett is having more lasting fun with it than about 70 percent of those folks did.

April 17, 2009

Fuglivia Fuglermo

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Oh, Tragic P. Jessica and I took to calling Olivia Palermo by that nickname after the delicious 2007 scandale in which she ALLEGEDLY wrote a letter to all the reigning socialite queen bees (who ALLEGEDLY all hated her) and begged them not to love her, apologizing for being a suck-up -- a letter which MAY have been a fake or MAY have been a huge publicity stunt but which either way ended up making Olivia something of a boldface name in NYC circles. And which resulted in almost no one talking to her -- or only appearing to do so grudgingly, and with considerable off-camera face-making, at the behest of photographers who wanted a picture -- whenever we saw her at Fashion Week (hence the nickname Tragic P). This is what makes her current billing as The Socialite on The City so deliciously ironic.

So anyway, it's been a tough nickname to kick, especially when she shows up at big events in stuff like this:

It's almost poetically icky. In fact:

Tragic P, poor kid:
Pricey shower curtains are
still shower curtains.

Last I checked, Bed Bath
and Beyond doesn't sell clothes.
Even in 'Beyond.'

Drab coat, bad purse choice,
beading from cheap hobby store.
And are those Slinkys?

But City foe Whitney would
have added a floral wreath.
So at least there's that.

February 16, 2009

Jennifer Love Fuggitt

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Listen, J.Lo.Hew, we have to talk.

[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

Don't look at me like that, missy, because I'm only here to help. Here's the thing: I know times are rough right now. You just broke up with Liebgott from Band of Brothers, Us Weekly did a whole cover story alleging you are a neurotic mess who refused to wear anything that wasn't a size 4 or lower even when you weren't, you lost a boatload of weight you didn't need to lose in a really short amount of time that probably left you hungry and crabby all the time, you're stuck in this horrible storyline on Ghost Whisperer where they killed your hot husband and saw his spirit jump into a way less hot dude's body and your character is trying to date him, and you're in shock that it turned out that Jay Mohr was the glue of the show and that now he's gone things are bleak with Jamie Kennedy in there as his proxy. I get that it's probably really hard for you right now. And I wish it weren't, because I like you. But wearing rugs from the clearance rack at Cost Plus/World Market is NOT the answer. And it's a very slippery slope. First you're turning your throw rug into a cape, and then all of a sudden, you're hitting the supermarket in slippers with a bathmat wrapped around your boobs, and finally someone spies you at CBS parties in a Snuggie with your hair in curlers, smoking a hand-rolled cigarette stuffed with things from your spice rack and jammed into a holder you bought on eBay for twenty bucks at 3 a.m.

Don't let the bastards WIN, J.Lo.Hew. You can beat this. If you have to put on boots specifically so you can yank yourself up by their straps, then do it. Just take off the carpet first.

September 12, 2008

The Wofug

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I saw Jada Pinkett Smith on the Today Show some time this week and turned and said to Heather, "Damn! Jada looks GOOD." And she did. She looked like a 22 year old who'd just gotten back from six weeks at a spa.

So riddle me this, Batman: why is she wearing a cupcake liner as a top?

August 29, 2008

Random Fug: Gaia Bermani Amaral

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There's been an accidental bathroom theme on GFY lately, between Claire Danes' soap dispenser and Posh's designer back bathmat, and now this:

I suspect all the shower curtains in Melania Trump's wing of the penthouse look exactly like this.

May 30, 2008

Fug Fuggessy

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I realize we make a lot of references on this site to people looking like they're giving their table linens a second life, or as if they've taken a page from Scarlett O'Hara's Big Book Of How To Put The 'Dress' In 'Window Dressing', and for that I apologize. I do. Repetition can be the enemy of fun, unless of course you're doing shots or playing Mario Kart Wii.

But if people would just stop WEARING those kinds of garments, we wouldn't HAVE to dip into that over and over again. Do you hear me, Jill Hennessy? Thanks to outfits like yours, I am so far down the damn well, People magazine is going to have to do a tragic story about my plight and eventual dramatic rescue just to recharge its karma after paying millions (or so I assume) to J.Lo and C.Ag and N.Rich and all their ilk for exclusive rights to their fresh spawn, and for spending, like, three months last summer relentlessly calling Britney's oldest son "Preston" even though that's actually his MIDDLE name.

So please, Jill. Stop this right now. Don't turn me into People's obligatory (and, okay, FINE, usually touching -- there, I said it) story of tragedy. Leave the curtains on the window.

March 10, 2008

Fug Reservations

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I used to believe that Catherine Zeta Jones could wear a barrel to an event and get away with it.

But since she can't even pull off an Ikea bedspread, I'm beginning to second-guess myself.

March 6, 2008

Dancing With The Fugs

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What was Shannon Elizabeth doing, going shopping in my childhood without asking me?

Seven-Year-Old-Me is FURIOUS that Shannon stole my parents' oriental rug without asking, because that was MY special cape for my eventual and inevitable coronation and now she's on the verge of RUINING EVERYTHING. If there is no time to get it cleaned before that day arrives, she will be exiled from Seven-Year-Old-Me's kingdom immediately and all her movies will be buried. Which... okay, that part actually might be kind of a relief.

February 25, 2008

Oscars Fug Carpet: Cameron Diaz

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Last year I wrote that Cameron Diaz's white Oscar gown "inspired me to plug in my iron." Which I remember not because I am so amused at myself, but rather because her gown this year felt like an equally dusty "before" shot from an ad extolling the glories of spray starch.

Last year it felt like a linen napkin; this year, it's a bedsheet, and -- it must be said -- possibly a very low thread-count bedsheet she bought from Target because her old linens smelled like Justin and so she had to burn them.

It doesn't get much better from the back:

Continue reading Oscars Fug Carpet: Cameron Diaz.

February 18, 2008

Eli Fug

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Can we discuss Natasha Henstridge for a moment?

She looks really pretty on Eli Stone, right? I mean, I assume she does. I haven't watched it yet, though it's waiting for me on the TiVo. But she looks pretty in the commercials, so I assume she looks good on the show. But when she's out in the wild, as she is here, she looks....kinda rough. Sorry, Natasha, but you're wearing a bath mat as a shawl. You smell what I'm cooking here.

Of course, said roughness may also be because NO ONE ON THE WORLD can pull off WIDE-LEGGED PLEATHER PANTS.

Okay, maybe Grace Jones. But that's it.

Results tagged “household objects” from GoFugYourself

Cate Blanchfugtt

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Fuglivia Fuglermo

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Jennifer Love Fuggitt

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The Wofug

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Random Fug: Gaia Bermani Amaral

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Fug Fuggessy

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Fug Reservations

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Dancing With The Fugs

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Oscars Fug Carpet: Cameron Diaz

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Eli Fug

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