Results tagged “leather” from GoFugYourself

November 18, 2009

Leightfug Meestfug

Leighton Meester gave me almost more than I could handle over my breakfast this morning.

It did not start with this, but this is part of it:

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The eye makeup is ... intense. I know Leighton fancies herself a rock-star now, but she has the kind of eyes that look a lot smaller when you pile on the makeup, to the point where it kinda makes her look puffy and tired no matter what she's doing. The dress, well, I've never really understood wanting to make it look like you're wearing a tube top, and I certainly hope she had a car take her to this party, because otherwise I don't know how she would sit down on the subway or in a taxi without catching something unpleasant. But, whatever. At least the tube-top is keeping the girls in place, and even though I hate the art-deco mules she's wearing, I can deal with where she was going with this.

Perhaps that's because BEFORE I looked at this dress, I saw what Leighton wore inside the party to perform. It grieves me that we don't have legal access to put that photo on our Web site, and I PRAY that this link does not expire, because you need to see this, because OH MY GOD, when did Leighton Meester become Solange?

Just as bad is her new music video:
It is unusual indeed that I look at a picture of Halle Berry and think, "Eh. Halle doesn't look that great."

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Because she is Halle Berry, and she usually looks great regardless of outfit. But this just fills me with eh, meh and feh, with a dash of blah and whole lot of BORING. Am I correct, or has Sharon Stone just ruined me for anyone else? Can this be fixed? Should it be fixed? How? Why? When? Where? Who? SO MANY QUESTIONS.


November 17, 2009

Slivfug

I am so excited for you guys to see this. I am so excited about it that I actually turned to Heather at a party we were attending last night and whispered, "I can't WAIT to go home and write about Sharon Stone!"

Because it all started with this:

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She looks like a spy who's about to burst into a Fosse routine in celebration of finally nabbing her man, complete with hat-related choreography. And truly that would be enough for me -- the leather! The lipstick! The headgear! I'm happy. But because someone loves me, that turned into THIS:

November 4, 2009

I Fug You, Beth Cooper

AT LAST I have something to say to Hayden Pantywaist should I ever find myself standing next to her in line for the ladies room:

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"How are things going with you and Danny Zuko? I just love that kid! Please give him my best."
November 3, 2009

Fug or Fab: Paula Abdul

When I saw this photo in thumbnail size, I thought Paula Abdul here was Jasmine Guy -- her hair is similar to Jasmine's on Vampire Diaries, and I had just been talking about how Ms Whitley Gilbert is MUCH too young to be playing a grandmother on said show, so I had her on the brain. (It has been pointed out to me that Whitley's VD character IS a witch, so maybe she's staying young-looking thanks to MAGIC, and I feel like I might be able to accept that. And trust me, I am happy to see her working, but still. Jasmine Guy is no grandma. Anyhoodle.) Which is why I thought, "is Jasmine Guy actually kind of working high-waisted leather pants? She IS a witch!!"

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Look, it's possible that I have totally lost the plot. This is the third day in a row that I've had a fever. Last night, I had a feverish delirium that Ryan Seacrest and I were being forced to perform "Tardy for the Party" for President Obama and I couldn't find my wig. (Ryan was cool about it.) So let's take a looksee in the close-up:

October 7, 2009

Fug or Fab: Kate Moss

I've got to say...a leather turtleneck dress? BOLD.

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Also, hot: both in the sense that's it's very Angelina Jolie In Mr and Mrs Smith Sexy, and it must be literally, Wow I'm Sweating Like the Proverbial Prostitute in a Place of Worship hot. Although, let's be honest: we all know Kate Moss never has to deal with anything as plebeian as sweat tricking down the back of her knee.  I know I started this entry with an eye to polling you on whether she looks Fug or Fabl, but I must be honest: I think she looks, as Miss Tyra would say, FIERCE.
October 5, 2009

Fug City

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LAUREN CONRAD: Hey, Whit. Thanks so much for coming out to support my new Kohl's line.

WHITNEY PORT: My pleasure!

LAUREN: And just in case anyone is wondering, nothing you are wearing comes from my line.

WHITNEY: What was that?

LAUREN: Oh, NOTHING! Nothing. Shall we get a better look at your outfit, that I didn't have anything to do with? That you didn't even call or text me about?
September 14, 2009

Fabiola Fugafugsa

I cherish that Fabiola Beracasa wore this to celebrate the second season of Rachel Zoe's show, mostly because I think Zoe herself would die before she dressed any of her clients like Hell's Angels at a May Day party:

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The next time Mickey Rourke gets married, I fully expect this to be the garb of the flower girls. Or the bride, actually.
September 2, 2009

9Fug210

Oh, DRUNKFACE. Your face is drunker than ever!

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I know Axl Rose, Drunkface. Axl Rose was a friend of mine (by which I mean if he hit me with his car, I'd be able to tell the cops that it was MOTHERF'ING AXL ROSE who ran me over). And you, Drunkface, are no Axl Rose.

Nor, in case you were wondering, are you Steven Tyler.

No, nor are you Bret Michaels (you need a bandanna for that).

No, I'm sorry, you are also not CC DeVille.

No, David Lee Roth also doesn't fly.

No, I'm very sorry, nor will I even accept Kid Rock.

Tacky '80s groupie, the likes of which I have seen in many an episode of Behind the Music, generally before a segment in which someone drives his car into a cliff/ODs on glue/loses a limb/decides to invest all his money in solid gold faucets?

Hmm.

Yes. Yes, that I will accept. Congratulations! I think you're supposed to flash us your boobs now.



August 24, 2009

Charfuglette Ronson

With nearly every trend I bemoan on this website, there comes a point where I just throw up my hands and am all, "oh, fine. Fine! Wear your leggings/romper/jumpsuit. It's your funeral" and then I move on with my life. You know, the emotion transforms from aggressive-aggression to passive-aggression and it's better for everyone.

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But I swear to you, here and now, that never never NEVER never NEVER NEVER never never never shall I shrug my shoulders over (p)leather pleated Mom shorts. They don't even make sense: leather and shorts do not go together. Just because one is a material and the other an article of clothing does not mean that they should unite. We aren't wearing rubber culottes, or lace hip-waders or chiffon bullet-proof vests (don't get any ideas). But more importantly: THESE ARE NOT ATTRACTIVE ON ANYONE. Not the skinny hipster, not the curvaceous bombshell, not the tomboy, not the drama queen, not the girl-next-door, not even Angelina Jolie. THEY. ARE. UNFLATTERING. THEY ARE A CRIME AGAINST YOUR THIGHS. WHAT THEY DO TO YOUR BELLY SHOULD BE CONSIDERED ARMED ASSAULT. And they -- like the swine flu -- are only mutating into a stronger trend, readers. FIGHT THEM. FIGHT THE PLEATHER PLEATED MOM SHORTS WITH ALL OF YOUR MIGHT. Do NOT look at them with a cocked brow and think, "maybe I should get these." NO. NO YOU SHOULD NOT. You will REGRET IT. You will look at photos of yourself wearing them and say, "WHAT WAS I THINKING?" and then you will cry. CRY! Wear your rompers, wear your leggings, jump around in your jumpsuits. RESIST THE PLEATHER PLEATED MOM SHORTS. I beg of you FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, SWEET READERS. RESIST!

Also, those shoes are terrible.
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