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November 6, 2009

MTV European Music Awards Fug: Beyonce AND Leona Lewis

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I always speak too soon. I put up photos of people on the red carpet -- like Beyonce yesterday, and Leona today -- and then I see that they changed their clothes for the performance portion of the evening. It happens ALL THE TIME and yet I always forget. I am like Jessica Simpson with boys who are guaranteed to break her heart: I NEVER LEARN.

First up: Beyonce's stage attire.

You know, it's... well, it's Beyonce in lingerie. It's not the weirdest thing she's ever worn, nor is it particularly inspired. I guess I just wish she weren't being quite so Christina Aguilera about it all. We've been there. We've seen that. It was dirrrrty. Move along.

Leona Lewis went much bigger for her performance:

Continue reading MTV European Music Awards Fug: Beyonce AND Leona Lewis.

September 16, 2009

Fugh Lezark/Unbreak My Fug

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You know that old chestnut about letting your legs OR your boobs hang out, but not both at once? Leigh Lezark is putting her own special transparent spin on that. First she flashed her bottom half at us, and now she's covered up down south in favor of showing us her aurora boobealis.

Get it? The Northern Lights, aurora borealis... Yeah, okay, that was horrendous. Sorry. But this is also horrendous.

It's been like three weeks and I'm already so tired of the Madonna-circa-1984 transparent lace stuff coming back around, mostly because we've got about a week before Forever 21 picks up on it and that means a bunch of 12-year olds will start wearing this crap to school dances and I will officially have to move into a nursing home because my righteous indignation will make me turn 80 on the spot.

But at least Leigh isn't trying to pull it off with leggings, a la Toni Braxton here:

Continue reading Fugh Lezark/Unbreak My Fug.

August 26, 2009

Shannon Fuglizabeth

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There are a few possibilities of what's going on here.

1. Shannon Elizabeth is wearing a cardigan that she's allowing to fall off her shoulder, because she's so freaking excited about the camisole she just bought at Agent Provocateur and can't bear the idea of us not being able to see it.

2. Shannon Elizabeth has invented the Infinite Sweater and is modeling it in its sleeve-scarf iteration -- The Slarf -- so that we can all see how marvellously freeing it is to have semi-detached arm coverings that also wind around your neck, adding that element of sweet asphyxiating peril every time you hug someone and the wrap tightens around your throat.

Personally, I vote for No. 2. After all, innovation is the cornerstone of society.

August 10, 2009

Teen Choice Awards Fug Carpet: Ashley Greene

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Uh, maybe not the best choice, Ashley:

I mean, even if you INTENDED to look like you'd pulled a skirt that was half-a-size too small up over your granny's long-line foundation garment, I'd argue that it wasn't the best choice. You know? Like, cosmically? I'm just saying.

July 30, 2009

Doncha Wish Your Girlfriend Was Fug Like Me?

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I KNOW Kimberly Wyatt here is one of the Pussycat Dolls -- and considering how often she's been seen out and about by herself in some kind of wackjob outfit, I assume she's making a play for a solo career -- but I seriously, SERIOUSLY would not be able to ID her to the LAPD if she ran me over with her car:

"Officer, she was wearing the MOST terrible outfit. No, really. This awful black ruffled skirt, and this horrible cheap-looking twee belt? But the worst part with the lace-trimmed leopard print bustier! YES, OFFICER, I JUST USED THE WORD 'BUSTIER.' And her SHOES, my GOD, officer, her shoes were TERRIBLE. They were so TACKY. Oh! And she had yellow nail polish -- now, yes, I know that's sort of in right now but I tried it myself in February and let me assure you, officer, that if done incorrectly it looks unfortunately like you have a terrible fungus, which is exactly what happened to me AND to her. Oh, god, it was terrible. What's that? Her face? Oh. Oh, god. I haven't the foggiest idea."

July 29, 2009

Inglourious Basfuggs

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The Inglourious Basterds premiere in Germany was just a sight to behold, you guys. I wish we could have been there! For one thing, we could have told Diane Kruger that she looks very pretty:

And then we could have whispered in the bathroom that we weren't WHOLLY sure about her hair, but LA LA LA LA WHERE'S PACEY? (Accessorizing herself with Josh Jackson was like the smartest thing ol' Krug has done in years, by the way. Well, along with starring in the National Treasure movies, which somehow manage to be WRETCHED and yet also amazing and hilarious at the same time.)

And then we could have yammered about this poor hot man, who was constantly being yelled at:

Continue reading Inglourious Basfuggs.

July 24, 2009

Lady Fugalade

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I know I've said that you should wear whatever you want on your birthday. This photo is from Lil' Kim's birthday party.

I never really stopped to consider that "whatever you want" might be lingerie topped by a vampire's kitchen apron, but I guess I have to just stick to my convictions and wish her many happy returns. This is what I get for making blanket statements. Thanks for the life lesson, Kim.

July 13, 2009

Fug You

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I'm sure it's very difficult these days for some singers to compete with the likes of Katy Perry and Lady Gaga, for whom every appearance on-stage -- and off, usually, also -- is an excuse to dress like they've been using crack rock as ice cubes in their diet sodas before licking the backs of South American cane toads and sniffing glue.

So it's really nice to see Lily Allen refusing to pander.

[Photo: Splash News]

I mean, you can't even SEE her crotch! It's practically prude!

May 6, 2009

Met Ball Fug Carpet: Bee Shaffer

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Bee Shaffer seems like a very lovely and low-key young woman despite her famous parent, which is why I think this dress is a shame:

For one thing -- despite the pretty color -- this gown looks like one of those old Victoria's Secret Second-Skin Satin bras sewn to a corset and lazily finished with ribbon and a see-through train.

For another, it's a tad reminiscent of this Emmy Rossum dress. They're not by the same designer, and I'm not alleging anything; merely suggesting that when you are the daughter of Anna Wintour, fashion's most powerful woman, you probably deserve an outfit for the Met Ball that doesn't remind people of something totally meh that a New York-based starlet wore two months ago -- not to mention that you deserve something that doesn't look like undergarments wrapped in tissue. And if you're too nice to storm around throwing a diva strop and screaming, "Don't you know who I AM?!?!?" in an incredulous voice until someone coughs up a better option... well, technically, you're to be applauded, because it means you're really cool and level-headed. But maybe Bee could've delegated that hissy to her mother. I'm sure A-Dubs would've had a LOT of fun with it.

poll by twiigs.com

February 10, 2009

Grammy Awards Fug Carpet: Nikki Cox

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Well...her lips seem to have (sort of) deflated since the last time we saw Nikki Cox:

But she seems to have had an Elizabeth Wakefield-esque accident at some point over the last few months and instead of waking up believing she was her own twin sister, she came out of her magical coma believing that she's her character from Las Vegas, but with more nightgowns and stripper shoes. Presumably, eventually she'll run into Josh Duhamel and he'll do her a solid and crack her on the head with a coconut (or whatever's at hand) to bring her back to herself, at which point I suspect she will feel forced to begin an investigation of any crimes she may have committed during her period of derangement. Activity of Interest Number One: how the hell she got this dress to stay up, and what was involved in keeping her nipples wrangled. I suspect the answer might be Super Glue.

Results tagged “lingerie as outerwear” from GoFugYourself

MTV European Music Awards Fug: Beyonce AND Leona Lewis

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Fugh Lezark/Unbreak My Fug

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Shannon Fuglizabeth

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Teen Choice Awards Fug Carpet: Ashley Greene

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Doncha Wish Your Girlfriend Was Fug Like Me?

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Inglourious Basfuggs

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Lady Fugalade

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Fug You

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Met Ball Fug Carpet: Bee Shaffer

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Grammy Awards Fug Carpet: Nikki Cox

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