Results tagged “look into pants” from GoFugYourself

November 5, 2009

2 Become Fug

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Dearest Mel B. You have serious problems here. How to put this...

How about if I borrow from one of your tender Spice Girls ballads:

Get a little bit clothed here, baby.
Put 'em on, put 'em on.
'Cause tonight
Is the night
Your pants must get done.
You need some trou like you've never needed trou before (let 'em make love to you, baby).
You've got a little shirt -- now go back for more (don't let it make fug to you, baby).
Setting your crotch free
Is no public way to be.

October 12, 2009

Fugly and FugJ

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[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

AJ MICHALKA: Excuse me?

ALY MICHALKA: What, did you hear something?

AJ: I could've sworn I heard someone behind us laughing.

ALY: You probably did. I know I am laughing at you.

AJ: Wait, at ME?

ALY: Hello, honey, you're wearing really tight pants and a shirt that hits your butt in the WEIRDEST place.

AJ: HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR TIGHTS?

ALY: They're not tights, honey, they're pights. Half pants, half tights.

AJ: Did you just not bother to shave the backs of your legs today?

ALY: Don't judge. It makes showering SO MUCH faster. I may not do it ever again. This is the new revolution, sweetie. Ride the wave.

AJ: It's okay. I'll let you surf it as far away from me as possible.

September 30, 2009

Jenny Fugphrey

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Look, I know the people on Gossip Girl are fake, but come on -- would Rufus Humphrey really be okay with this?

[Photo: Splash News]

Assuming my eyes do not deceive me, that is Little J's shirttail hanging out from her skirt. Which means she's wearing bottoms that are not as long as her top. And I know Rufus is kind of caught up in his own drama, what with Lily being out of town and them having a secret love child together that they think is dead, and all the time he clearly has to spend nurturing his Man Bangs and writing '90s-era rock songs about how gnarly it is when your stepdaughter drops out of college and turns into a tabloid-baiting -- albeit also amusing -- asswad. And I know he's kind of into being to his kids what the principal who announces he's your "princi-PAL" is to high-schoolers. But even amid all that, I'm pretty sure Rufus Humphrey would take one look at Little J trying to leave the house in this, or ANY of her terrible ensembles, and be like, "Jenny, your crotch is not an accessory. GO TO YOUR ROOM." So could we get on that please, Gossip Girl? It's not going to WORK, but he should at least TRY.

September 30, 2009

Stefugnie Pratt

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Honey. We need to talk.

That necklace is as big as your thigh, child. For the love of God, take a break from the show and get right with yourself. Write a book called Eat. Pants. Love. Then live its message.

September 14, 2009

How The Fugch Stole Fugmas

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AGAIN?

And not even on stage this time? You're not Courtney Love, girl (and that is a good thing, TRUST ME). Since your mom won't say it, I will: GO TO YOUR ROOM.

September 11, 2009

The Pretty Fugless

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Holy MOLY, Momsen. I don't even know how to be funny about this. I get what Taylor's perception of herself is, I think, but SERIOUSLY?

I know you think you're a rock star now and everything, but it bears repeating: YOU ARE SIXTEEN YEARS OLD. WHERE IS YOUR MOTHER? MRS. MOMSEN, I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU ARE OUT HAVING COCKTAILS WITH DINA LOHAN AND TOASTING YOUR AWESOME PARENTING SKILLS THEN I AM GOING TO ... shoot, what am I going to do... aha: I AM GOING TO CONTINUE USING ALL-CAPS UNTIL YOUR DAUGHTER PUTS ON SOME MOTHERFREAKING CLOTHES. YES. TAKE THAT.

September 8, 2009

Mean Fugs

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look into pants

Dear Lindsay:

[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

Do you and yours run your wardrobes like a fantasy football draft? Are you and Ali and Dina sitting around cross-legged on the carpet, taking turns picking as many of your favorite layers as possible before anyone else can get them -- and then later realizing you accidentally didn't draft any bottoms that weren't hot pants? Is Ali running around town wearing nothing but two pairs of leggings, some jeans, and ripped denim shorts? Because otherwise, you just look like a hooker with a court date.

Hugs,
Heather

September 1, 2009

Fuggia Rules

Fug file:

Okay, Lindsay.

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

I am weary of you trying to tempt the world into giving you an impromptu pap smear. If you want to be naked that badly, just have a pool party. It's that simple.

And as for this:

Continue reading Fuggia Rules.

August 25, 2009

Can't Fug The Moonlight

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look into pants

Obviously, I don't know what LeAnn Rimes is going through right now.

[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

But if I were allegedly seeing a dude with whom I'd cheated on my husband, and whose very angry wife keeps giving vitriolic quotes to the tabloids for use in articles where I am made to sound like a shameless harlot whose groin is a sin magnet, I would maybe lean away from wearing shirt-dresses that look like I just dashed out of the waxing salon to feed the parking meter, before going back inside and getting a nice married-man-grabbing Brazilian. It just doesn't seem wise, you know?

August 21, 2009

Fug Power

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PEOPLE OF THE WORLD:

[Photo: Splash News]

You know how there's that old gag about tagging the words, "in bed" to the end of every fortune cookie's fortune? Like I had one last night informing me that my personal happiness lies in achieving my professional goals. Which is much more salacious if I am achieving said goals....IN BED. I propose that the GFY version of that involves adding the words, "look into pants," to every Spice Girls song lyric that comes to mind until our sweet lady Ginger here gets the message.

For example:

"People of the world: look into pants! Every boy and every girl: LOOK INTO PANTS!"

Or:

"If you wanna be my lover, you gotta LOOK INTO PANTS!"

Or:

"Come a little bit closer, baby, get it on, get it on. Cause TONIGHT is the NIGHT that we LOOK INTO PANTS."

Or:

"I'm giving you every thing/ All that joy can bring/ This I swear./ And, all that I want from you/ Is a promise you will LOOK INTO PANTS."

And so forth. I understand that Ginger might think -- being British -- that we are imploring her to wear knickers rather than trousers, but considering how perilous her situation appears in this photo, I think we'd love it if she was sure to wear BOTH, no? I thought so. Now, go forth and sing.

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