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November 20, 2009

The Fug Who Stole Christmas

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In our last piece on Taylor Momsen, which was complimentary, Jessica entreated her to "enjoy the [lack of wailing] as long as it lasts."

Well, I hope it was a soothing four days for her. Although the thing is, I don't even think I have that much of a problem with the dress -- it's kind of funky, if alarmingly boobalicious on a kid who isn't old enough to vote, much less drink. But the MAKEUP. DEAR GOD. The words to that song are engraved on my brain. It goes to the tune of "Where Are You, Christmas?" which Taylor up there ought to know since she sang it on film.

Where are you, light switch?
Why can't I find you?
Why have you gone away?

It's too dark to tell
Whether I look like hell
Is my makeup putrescent and heavy?

Where are you, face wash?
Do you remember
The girl you used to clean?

You can undo my errors
So I'm not a terror.
Did I lose you
Or did you leave?

November 18, 2009

Leightfug Meestfug

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Leighton Meester gave me almost more than I could handle over my breakfast this morning.

It did not start with this, but this is part of it:

The eye makeup is ... intense. I know Leighton fancies herself a rock-star now, but she has the kind of eyes that look a lot smaller when you pile on the makeup, to the point where it kinda makes her look puffy and tired no matter what she's doing. The dress, well, I've never really understood wanting to make it look like you're wearing a tube top, and I certainly hope she had a car take her to this party, because otherwise I don't know how she would sit down on the subway or in a taxi without catching something unpleasant. But, whatever. At least the tube-top is keeping the girls in place, and even though I hate the art-deco mules she's wearing, I can deal with where she was going with this.

Perhaps that's because BEFORE I looked at this dress, I saw what Leighton wore inside the party to perform. It grieves me that we don't have legal access to put that photo on our Web site, and I PRAY that this link does not expire, because you need to see this, because OH MY GOD, when did Leighton Meester become Solange?

Just as bad is her new music video:

Continue reading Leightfug Meestfug.

November 17, 2009

Twifught: New Fug

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There are a lot of things going on here that I don't quite understand -- the skirt that gets shorter in front if the part of a lady she should want to hide the most; the pattern that looks like the tiled top of a small patio table -- but nothing is as confounding to me as Christian Serratos' mouth.

It was chilly last night in LA, but not THAT chilly. Did somebody give her a blueberry Popsicle in the limo? Is she about to turn completely blue and blow up the size of a planet and need to be rolled to Willy Wonka's juicing room? If not then I hope it's just a bad makeup choice, because if those lips have anything to do with the one soiled kneecap she appears to be rocking, I may quit on our nation's youth.

November 12, 2009

CMA Awards Fug Carpet: LeAnn Rimes

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So, LeAnn's dress is fine, right?

Would I have worn black shoes? No. But I am not nearly as worried about her black shoes as I am about her black eyes:

Continue reading CMA Awards Fug Carpet: LeAnn Rimes.

November 9, 2009

The Invisible Fug

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makeup mishaps

Last Thursday, GFY Icon of Irreverence Tilda "SWINTON" Swinton turned 49. We celebrated by stapling curtains around our bodies and then drinking champagne out of our highest stilettos -- the former because, let's face it, sometimes that's what SWINTON's outfits look like, and the latter just because it seemed like fun and Intern George hadn't washed our champagne flutes in a few days.

SWINTON evidently feted the day by taking a lesson from Lindsay Lohan on makeup application:

[Photo: WENN.com]

Between the orange foundation and the intense eye brightener, her face looks like a creamsicle. Which is doubly jarring because I believe she's wearing an undertaker's sofa.

I love you, SWINTON. Never change. Happy belated birthday.

November 5, 2009

MTV European Music Awards Fug Carpet: Pete Wentz

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Well, this was unexpected.

[Photo: WENN.com]

Do we think Pete Wentz, after a few too many cocktails, had a "Eureka!" moment in which he finally married his twin passions of A Clockwork Orange and Sharpies? Or do we think he passed out and his bandmates drew on his face? Either way, Ashlee will be so pissed. She didn't get fired from Melrose Place just to sit around the house scrubbing his eyelid with cold cream.

Perhaps Pete will give us a clue as to what inspired this. Pete? Do you have anything to say for yourself?

Continue reading MTV European Music Awards Fug Carpet: Pete Wentz.

October 23, 2009

Fab or Fug: Gwen Stefani

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Wow, I just got really distracted by Gwen Stefani's face:

She kind of looks weirdly like Judith Light to me here -- or, as one of our photo sources labeled her today, "Judy Light," like the editor there went to high school with her or something. I mean, she looks like Judy Light's DAUGHTER or similar, of course, not as though she is Judith Light's current age, although I'd also like to take this moment to note that I think Judith Light looks great for her age and also I love her on Ugly Betty. But -- questions regarding who may or may not be The Boss aside -- Gwen normally doesn't look the way the person in this picture looks. Is it because, without her trademark red lipstick, my brain doesn't recognize her? Like, I have no muscle memory for THIS Gwen Stefani, so I find the whole thing off-putting on a chemical, neurological level? What I'm saying is: I fear this make-up may have gone a wee awry.

But let's look below the chin and check out the rest of her get-up:

Continue reading Fab or Fug: Gwen Stefani.

October 19, 2009

Fug or Fab: Isabel Lucas

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Don't even get me started about Transformers 2. It was so terrible. NOTHING about it was good. Literally, everything down to the Egyptian geography was wrong. If you were lucky enough to miss it, Isabel Lucas here played a sexually voracious college student who provided tons of upskirt shots of her panties and who was secretly actually a man-eating robot with a tail and a twenty foot tongue, like, SUBTLE AND LAYERED AS USUAL, MICHAEL BAY. Honestly, the whole thing made me want to re-enroll in college just so I could write an enraged critical paper about how insulting the entire thing was: to women, to men, to minorities, to the government, to the military, to college students, to parents, to cars, to small appliances, to the audience. On the other hand, the movie did allow for Roger Ebert to write this review, which begins, "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a horrible experience of unbearable length." I love you, Roger. Anyway, Ms Lucas is a pretty girl:

The dress, I think, is cute -- I have one sort of similar to it, so I'm biased, although mine isn't shiny and looks somewhat less like fancy French doors. But I am worried about whoever has taken over Ms Lucas's hair and makeup duties. Check it:

Continue reading Fug or Fab: Isabel Lucas.

October 15, 2009

Melfugdy Thornton

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You know, I understand why Robin Antin is letting the other Pussycat Dolls out of the barn every once in a while. If Nicole Scherzinger ever decides to go solo again, they are up shit creek, because nobody cares about any of the other faceless minions. But the problem is, when your pussycats run around unsupervised, this happens:

The rest of this outfit might be totally fine, for all I know. I can't tell. My brain shorts out when I get to her lipstick. It's like she personally juiced Violet Beauregard.

October 15, 2009

Fugoebe Price

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Star magazine just turned five, and this is what Phoebe Price gave it at its party:

This is what I imagine Barbie would wear to the funeral of her archrival's husband, with whom Barbie of course had a torrid affair that may have spawned a love child who is entitled to half the man's estate. (Although I think Barbie would've remembered not to stop applying bronzer at her wrists -- or, better, would have accessorized with elbow-length gloves).

It's a marvelous gift of lunacy to Star, and to us all. Phoebe, my birthday is on August 16, and I am turning... not five. So for all my extra years on this planet, I hope you come up with a sartorial present for me that is commensurately more wackadaisical. Thank you.

Results tagged “makeup mishaps” from GoFugYourself

The Fug Who Stole Christmas

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Leightfug Meestfug

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Twifught: New Fug

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CMA Awards Fug Carpet: LeAnn Rimes

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The Invisible Fug

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MTV European Music Awards Fug Carpet: Pete Wentz

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Fab or Fug: Gwen Stefani

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Fug or Fab: Isabel Lucas

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Melfugdy Thornton

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Fugoebe Price

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