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November 17, 2009

Twifught: New Fug

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There are a lot of things going on here that I don't quite understand -- the skirt that gets shorter in front if the part of a lady she should want to hide the most; the pattern that looks like the tiled top of a small patio table -- but nothing is as confounding to me as Christian Serratos' mouth.

It was chilly last night in LA, but not THAT chilly. Did somebody give her a blueberry Popsicle in the limo? Is she about to turn completely blue and blow up the size of a planet and need to be rolled to Willy Wonka's juicing room? If not then I hope it's just a bad makeup choice, because if those lips have anything to do with the one soiled kneecap she appears to be rocking, I may quit on our nation's youth.

November 13, 2009

Delta Goodfug

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I can never remember if, as an American, I am SUPPOSED to know who Delta Goodrem is. You know what I mean. There are some celebrities -- like, say, any WAG but Posh -- who I know are truly famous only in the U.K. But then there are celebrities like Cat Deeley, who FEEL like they're only famous elsewhere but I only think that because I don't watch So You Think You Can Dance, and she's not out and about that much, and then I think about it and I realize that America totally knows who she is. But I am fairly sure that Ms Goodrem here is famous mostly in Australia, but CRAZILY SO there, as a super successful singer and someone who was on Neighbours. I rather wish she'd hit it bigger here in the States, because we'd see so much more of this:

It's like Peaches and Cream Barbie on top, C3P0 on the bottom. More of that CANNOT be a bad thing.

November 13, 2009

CMA Awards 'You The Jury' Fug: Carrie Underwood Omnibus

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It wouldn't be a country music awards gala if Carrie Underwood didn't wear eleventy-four different outfits through the course of the night. So, people of the jury, get comfortable in your chairs and prepare to sift through the evidence to determine whether a crime was committed. You may deliberate in the comments.

Exhibit A:

The prosecution frowns that this mirrored dress mostly eliminates her waist, and reflects the red carpet in such a way that it becomes an artistic interpretation of internal bleeding. The defense snorts that the prosecutors are all a bunch of Crabby McCrabbersons, and puts in a call to some wig vendors to see about replicating this coif, because it's cute, and so is she. The prosecution wonders if this would've been better at knee length, but quiets down when one of the defense attorneys tries to take a pair of scissors to her jeans in order to prove the point that not EVERYTHING needs to be knee-length, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Exhibit B:

Continue reading CMA Awards 'You The Jury' Fug: Carrie Underwood Omnibus.

November 5, 2009

The Fugd

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metallics

This was going to be a scrolldown fug, but frankly, I'm not that enamored of any of it.

That looks like an ornate bathrobe -- like what Charlize might throw on at home in her dressing room if, say, she's about to take a scrappy orphan girl to the movies, and she'd like to sing about it for a bit first while she powders her nose. The shoes seem totally discordant with the rest of the outfit -- just because they have sparkly things on them, it doesn't mean they're formal -- and I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that Charlize spent the entire night with her hand covering her crotch, just in case her robe keeps riding up there and threatening to turn "Let's Go To The Movies" into an odd euphemism -- albeit one that Daddy Warbucks would enjoy.

October 23, 2009

Fugging Out: My Look, My Style, My Life

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Come on, guys.

What did you EXPECT Kate Price to wear to promote her new style guide, Standing Out: My Look, My Style, My Life? (I am devastated, by the way, by my assumption that said book will never be published on our American shores.) (Also, you need to see what she wore in the photos accompanying that article. IT IS...BIZARRE AND AMAZING. BIZMAZING.) Frankly, I can't believe she isn't out and about wearing, like, hotpants with her own face bedazzled onto them and pasties made of her book jacket. THAT is what I've come to expect from Katie Price. But an ensemble that appears to be the result of a Star Trek-themed challenge on Project Runway: Juniors (a show I just invented: tweens and teens making outfits! It will be both awesome and INSUFFERABLE)? BORING.

October 20, 2009

Lindsay Lofug II: Return of the Lofug

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This woman is only 23 years old.

And she swears she's on the wagon.

Tell me another one, Linds. Would someone of sound mind wear THOSE shoes with THAT dress? I didn't think so.

PS: I suggest you save the icicles for the rain gutters of your condo.

October 7, 2009

Fug or Fab: Kristen Bell

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green,
metallics

Kristen Bell just trotted out something fresh from Marchesa's Spring 2010 presentation, and it's got me a tad indecisive.

Pro: It doesn't make her look stumpy.

Con: It does make her look bandaged.

Pro: It's intricate!

Con: It looks like it's a magician's assistant who accidentally swallowed the magic scarf and just sneezed it to freedom.

Pro: I love the restrained styling everywhere else.

Con: I don't have her shoulders.

Pro: I could maybe get her shoulders if I exercised more.

Con: That's so not happening.

Pro: Oh, really? You can't find ten minutes at night to do some push-ups or something before bed?

Con: Shut up.

poll by twiigs.com

September 18, 2009

Fugchel Bilson

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metallics

Cute girl.

Possibly cute bra. Totally strange suit made of Ferrero Rocher wrappers; maybe the flash of lingerie was Rachel's way of distracting us from asking ourselves just how many candies had to be scarfed in the making of this outfit. I feel her. Nobody really wants his or her 3 a.m. infomercial-watching eating habits exposed to the world.

September 16, 2009

Offugce Space

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metallics

I am not sure what Us Weekly bigwig Jennifer Aniston stabbed with a fountain pen, but clearly, she or someone in her camp pissed off the wrong person -- that magazine WILL NOT pay her a compliment. That cover line about why Bradley Cooper "picked" Renee Zellweger was crazy enough, but the accompanying story was all, "He likes Renee because she's not tragic and desperate," and instead of giving Jen that funny crack about movie titles that accidentally pertain to her life, they were all, "Well SOMEBODY needs attention." Poor kid. She is somebody I really root for but who keeps making me smack my forehead.

For instance:

I like the IDEA. But for a clingy and glittering gunmetal mini, this is sort of limp, no? I suspect its sticker price is four figures, but if you told me she'd bought it at Charlotte Russe and then celebrated with an Auntie Anne's pretzel, I'd probably believe you. Not to mention that it would appear her support garment is on display. And although it's mighty refreshing to know that someone with her rockin' bod still needs a little extra help here and there, I'm pretty sure SHE would rather we didn't know that. Oh, Jen. You don't get to have ANY secrets, do you?

Still, I'll put it to a vote, because I like her and so maybe y'all out there will cut her a break that I didn't.

poll by twiigs.com

September 11, 2009

Monstfug

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From the neck down, I can work with this. It's not that exciting, and it could maybe have used a neck or arm accessory, but on the whole it's just fine.

But what is going on with Charlize's head? The lack of makeup makes her look ill, and her hair looks like when you wake up the morning AFTER a fancy event and you're trying to figure out where all the bobby pins went, and whether they might be hiding alongside your panties. But I am pretty sure she shouldn't have attempted any kind of hairdo at all without a hot-oil treatment. Charlize, have you met Mr. Duane Reade? He hangs out on just about every NYC street corner, and he's got any number of elixirs in his arsenal that could help you.

Results tagged “metallics” from GoFugYourself

Twifught: New Fug

Fug file:

Delta Goodfug

Fug file:

CMA Awards 'You The Jury' Fug: Carrie Underwood Omnibus

Fug file:

The Fugd

Fug file:

Fugging Out: My Look, My Style, My Life

Fug file:

Lindsay Lofug II: Return of the Lofug

Fug file:

Fug or Fab: Kristen Bell

Fug file:

Fugchel Bilson

Fug file:

Offugce Space

Fug file:

Monstfug

Fug file:

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