Results tagged “pelvis alert” from GoFugYourself

Careful with those arms, Tara.


[Photos: WENN]

For one thing, letting your shirt ride up thusly makes it look like you had your navel surgically removed. But also, if you party any harder, that thing could creep up so high that we all see first-hand for ourselves whether you had your boobs re-expanded.

Unless of course you're wearing a bra. Are you?

Ooookay. January Jones always looks so beautfully prim on Mad Men that, I admit, it's kind of a shock to see her like this:



From the neck up, she's all Whimsy McRetro, but from there down, she's seriously hardcore Heidi Montag. And I ask you: DOES THAT SEEM LIKE A GOOD IDEA? DOES IT?

I didn't think so.

Oh my god, you guys. I was just looking for a photo of Natasha Bedingfield on American Idol last night -- I thought she was wearing weird-ass gloves, but it turns out they were just her sleeves; these are the mistakes you make when you watch the results show on fast forward -- and I found THIS, from while we were on vacay:

It's like she KNEW we were going out of town, and was like, "YES! At last, I can wear my Vegas cocktail waitress backless halter  tuxedo top! Those wicked bitches will NEVER KNOW! MwhahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAH! "

Poor Natasha. Honey, we ALWAYS find out.

I feel like taking a tour through Natasha Bedingfield's closet would be a really interesting way to spend an afternoon. She veers from cute dresses to crazy '80s wear as fast as most people blink, plus I am always fascinated to see what kind of stuff people keep in there, buried under shoe boxes or stacks of sweaters -- or, in my case, the paint-splattered jeans and shirts I keep around for the inevitable day when I finally say, "No, seriously, THIS TIME I really AM going to paint the bathroom."

As for Natasha, I like to think that outside her closet hangs a giant blindfold she ties on before picking her clothes for the day. It helps explain the roller-coaster between this:

And what she changed into after the Grammys ended:

When I watch her on Celebrity Apprentice -- which is secretly one of the funniest shows on TV right now (against very little competition, but whatever); the episode where Jim Cramer guest-judged and was SHOCKED and HORRIFIED at Gene Simmons essentially forcing Trump's hand in firing him actually had me laughing out loud, I'm embarrassed to say -- I think that Carol Alt is aging rather well.  This is not to say I don't believe she's had any tweaks here and there; just that whatever it was worked nicely. I mean, Trump couldn't stop talking about how hot she was, but he does like tight cheekbones in his ladies apparently, so maybe that's the draw.

Anyhoo, I just don't think Carol Alt should vault from being told by The Donald every hour how beautiful she is, to reminding us with clothes that she's been around for eons.

This outfit feels so dated, not unlike the Ali Larter abomination from earlier. Tiffani Thiessen probably had to wear THIS, too, in some episode where Valerie was seriously bumming out about Dylan and/or booking horrible musical acts at the Peach Pit After Dark. It's like Carol Alt hasn't been shopping in 15 years. And, frankly, I don't ever need to see navel on the red carpet. In this photo it almost looks like a creepy prosthetic stomach, the kind of thing that, say, a really insane soap opera character would order in a series of sizes to better fake a pregnancy by flashing it all around town. We are assuming Carol Alt is not trying to convince anyone that she's having her archrival's husband's baby because they slept together during a tornado to keep warm and thought they were both going to die. So, even though she's still svelte at Whatever Age, she'd have looked so much classier flaunting it a different way. If you're that stoked about your stomach, great, but at a formal event you should keep that between you and your Ab Roller.

This dress is somewhat unflattering, rather see-through, and wholly hideous -- I mean, lady, I GET IT, you have breasts, and that's great, but if you're so determined to show them off then just call Lil' Kim in prison and ask if you can borrow something -- but there is another reason I wish that this Lina person hadn't worn it.

Quite frankly, her navel scares the life out of me.

[Photo by Daily Celeb.]

That is chapped evil, right there. You are staring into the eye of Satan. Have you ever seen the South Park "Woodland Critter Christmas" episode? If you have, then you'll understand why the words "blood orgy" are so appropriate here. And if you haven't, well, you are figuratively (and in some ways literally) staring at the belly of the beast in this photo. That thing is all monster. Don't stare at it too long, or you'll be compelled to drink the blood of a righteous woman while carving pentagrams into the walls.

What is it planning? Why did it insist on rending a gaping hole into this dress, forcing Lina to go outside in something that does not show her off to her best advantage? Was it hoping to cross paths with a jewelry-toting hobbit? Was it trying to blink a message to the TomKat fetus? Was it hoping to brainwash her into going to a screening of Just Friends, so that Lucifer could use The Eye to gaze upon his most recent cinematic handiwork? What? WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH US?

Interesting that only Nicky chose to wear a costume on Halloween.

Interesting look on Taryn Manning:

Note: you're not playing the hooker in Hustle and Flow any more. You should feel free to dress like a civilian.

Oh, Girl Paris, welcome back to the blog:

And what better triumphant return to the fug than this chartreuse shiny bandeau dress, complete with billowing bodice, slits, and a tennis skirt? It's all so very white-trash St. Tropez, seen at all the yachting parties of peasants whose boats are only a pathetic fifty-feet long.

However, I am vexed by the continued absence of Man Paris. Are they fighting? Has he been brainwashed by his Hilton-horrified parents, who keep insisting their children are getting hitched on the tenth of Never, and not a day sooner, even though Kathy Hilton has already pretty much planned the wedding and monogrammed some towels? Or are her slits accidental -- left over from the knife fight she got into with Mr. Man Paris's hired goons, who want to scare some jilting into her?

I love the idea that they're a billionaire sandbox version of Romeo and Juliet, but without the innocence. Or the vocabulary. It's going to be so tragic when Girl Paris drinks Red Bull laced with arsenic and passes out, only to wake up and find out that Man Paris drank a lethal dose in his grief, which will force her to impale herself upon a cocktail toothpick she ganked from the Tropicana Bar the other night.

Hopefully she'll change first.

Brooke Hogan was in the middle of the time-honored wedding shower game Dress The Bride In A Toilet Paper Gown when she realized she was running late for the VMAs.

So she threw on her hooker shoes and ran right out to the show!