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November 19, 2009

America's Next Top Fugger... IS...

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ANTM,
pink

Last night, a new America's Next Top Model was crowned, and as usual, the poor kid was stuck trying to enjoy her victory in a severely cracked-out dress. Now, since the finale was JUST last night, I will put the following photos behind the jump, just to forestall any angry e-mails from readers who were stuck at work/on a plane/busy burying a body and could not watch the episode in a timely fashion. So be forewarned: Don't click if you don't want to see who won. But DO click if you don't care, you saw it already, and/or you are a cat and Curiosity is chasing you through the house with a large kitchen knife.

Continue reading America's Next Top Fugger... IS....

November 12, 2009

CMA Awards Fug Carpet: Nicole Kidman

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KEITH URBAN: Psst. Nicole?

NICOLE KIDMAN: Yes?

KEITH: Things had been going so well.

NICOLE: I don't understand. Isn't this color so lovely? Isn't this dress pretty?

KEITH: Yes, but...

NICOLE: And isn't my hair redder than it's been in years?

KEITH: Totally, which is...

NICOLE: Then what? What more do you people want from me?

KEITH: How about circulation in your boobs?

NICOLE: I don't know what you mean.

KEITH: That might be because you can no longer feel them.

NICOLE: But isn't cleavage sexy?

KEITH: Not when it looks a mangled stress toy.

NICOLE: WELL. I wasn't going to say anything about how you're wearing a shirt that's unbuttoned to your sternum -- AGAIN -- but since you're being all huffy...

KEITH: Nice try. But people expect to see my waxed chest. They DEMAND IT.

NICOLE: Riiiight.

KEITH: But they DON'T expect YOUR chest to look like it melted while you were sleeping.

NICOLE: Can we just go inside and get this over with? Now that you mention it, I DO feel like my boobs are about to burst.

KEITH: The open bar will fix that.

NICOLE: Bless.

November 4, 2009

Califugnication

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Initially, I was going to make this an Unfug It Up.

[Photo: WENN.com]

Then I realized it would be the shortest discussion ever (presumably) because I can point very clearly to the thing that is derailing Madeline Zima here. Yeah, okay, the dress boasts a giant red arrow to her pelvis, as if someone is at risk of not understanding that the Love Canal entrance is thither. But it might be cute; I don't know. It's difficult for me to focus on anything with those leaden grey tights mucking up the works. If she scrapped the stockings and the twee Mary Janes, then I could resume analysis of the rest of her outfit, marvel at how much Ms. Zima reminds me of Alicia Silverstone, and end with a well-timed Clueless joke and a query about vegan cupcakes. Alas, let us weep for what could have been, dear readers.

October 26, 2009

Fug or Fab: Whitney Port

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pink

I suspect that, from the neck up, this picture could be secretly introduced into any of our families' photo albums from the late 70s/extremely early 80s, and no one would notice it wasn't an original.

[Photos: Splash News]

She looks like an incredibly well-groomed extra on Freaks and Geeks, and while my original reaction to this was to snottily wrinkle my nose and mark it for DESTRUCTION, the more I look at it, the more I kind of like it. Possibly because I've now been staring at it for over an hour and I've come to feel some sympathy for my photographic captor. I'm so easily talked into things, I swear. If I ever get kidnapped, I give it four days before I'm making those assholes grilled cheese sandwiches.

poll by twiigs.com

October 19, 2009

Better Played, Rose McGowan?

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There was much discussion recently about Ms Rose McGowan's wardrobial choices. I must admit that there's something kind of charming about her most current ensemble:

I don't know how I feel about the dress ITSELF -- I enjoy that it's quasi-Marilyn Monroe a la "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend," but I suspect she needs a chunky fabulous bracelet if she's going to make the (probably wise) choice to skip the gloves -- but I can't help but be amused by the expression on her face. She looks very, "Now you want me to stand over here? Really? Whatever you say, photo dude. Just make up your mind."

She totally mugged for the cameras once she got to her mark, too:

Continue reading Better Played, Rose McGowan?.

October 15, 2009

Fugoebe Price

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Star magazine just turned five, and this is what Phoebe Price gave it at its party:

This is what I imagine Barbie would wear to the funeral of her archrival's husband, with whom Barbie of course had a torrid affair that may have spawned a love child who is entitled to half the man's estate. (Although I think Barbie would've remembered not to stop applying bronzer at her wrists -- or, better, would have accessorized with elbow-length gloves).

It's a marvelous gift of lunacy to Star, and to us all. Phoebe, my birthday is on August 16, and I am turning... not five. So for all my extra years on this planet, I hope you come up with a sartorial present for me that is commensurately more wackadaisical. Thank you.

October 13, 2009

Fug Open

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Look, I love Serena Williams. I just do. During Outburstgate at the US Open, I just kind of wanted to grab her and ask her what she was thinking, point out that the only really advisable way to emulate John McEnroe is by playing excellent tennis, and then hug her and go take her out for a beer with Kim Clijsters, who also probably really needed one. HOWEVER. What I do not love is:

THAT is a SHIRT. Or -- and this just occurred to me -- it is a very formal tennis dress, in which case I cannot wait to see her play in those shoes.

October 12, 2009

V.I.Fug

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Well, on the bright side, she's not wearing solely a man's sheer white Hanes t-shirt:

On the, er, dark side, what IS Pamela Anderson wearing here? It appears to be a tattered and well-used duvet cover she has thriftily transformed into something that is nearly a dress, but is also -- surely by design -- about two seconds away from falling off her. Which: snore. Call me when you're wearing something that ISN'T about two seconds away from flashing the Famed Anderson Goodies, Pam. Like a turtleneck, or a burka.

Let's take a look at the back:

Continue reading V.I.Fug.

October 6, 2009

Deja Fug

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Oh honey NO,
pink

I have a total girl crush on Paula Patton and I don't know why. I don't think I've ever seen her in a movie, although I did see Hitch, but I can't remember her in it because I can't remember anything about Hitch other than how I kept thinking how I sort of find Kevin James hilarious and ought I be ashamed of this fact? (No, I should not be: did you ever see the King of Queens where he dances on the stripper pole? He's funny.)

However, every time I see her I think, "who is that PRETTY LADY? Oh, Paula Patton. She's so pretty." I guess my girl crush stems from her being pretty. Because I'm shallow like that. But this time, I must confess, my thought process was more along the lines of, "Who is that pretty lady wearing a skirt made from hideous leftover window treatments from a depressing and poorly decorated brothel that's gone of out business in these, our depressed economic times? Oh, Paula Patton. She's so pretty. She deserves better."

September 29, 2009

Dita Von I Wish Dita Had More Credits For My Use In This Space

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I know girlfriend has a look.

But at this point, if I saw Dita von Teese somewhere wearing jeans, boots, and a tank top, I SWEAR TO GOD, I would go up to her and give her a nice crisp $20.

Results tagged “pink” from GoFugYourself

America's Next Top Fugger... IS...

Fug file:

CMA Awards Fug Carpet: Nicole Kidman

Fug file:

Califugnication

Fug file:

Fug or Fab: Whitney Port

Fug file:

Better Played, Rose McGowan?

Fug file:

Fugoebe Price

Fug file:

Fug Open

Fug file:

V.I.Fug

Fug file:

Deja Fug

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Dita Von I Wish Dita Had More Credits For My Use In This Space

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