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November 16, 2009

Who Fugged It More: Zoe Saldana or Chloe Sevigny

Fug file:

You know what's embarrassing?

Going out without remembering to button your top.

You know what's even MORE embarrassing?

Continue reading Who Fugged It More: Zoe Saldana or Chloe Sevigny.

November 13, 2009

CMA Awards 'You The Jury' Fug: Carrie Underwood Omnibus

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It wouldn't be a country music awards gala if Carrie Underwood didn't wear eleventy-four different outfits through the course of the night. So, people of the jury, get comfortable in your chairs and prepare to sift through the evidence to determine whether a crime was committed. You may deliberate in the comments.

Exhibit A:

The prosecution frowns that this mirrored dress mostly eliminates her waist, and reflects the red carpet in such a way that it becomes an artistic interpretation of internal bleeding. The defense snorts that the prosecutors are all a bunch of Crabby McCrabbersons, and puts in a call to some wig vendors to see about replicating this coif, because it's cute, and so is she. The prosecution wonders if this would've been better at knee length, but quiets down when one of the defense attorneys tries to take a pair of scissors to her jeans in order to prove the point that not EVERYTHING needs to be knee-length, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Exhibit B:

Continue reading CMA Awards 'You The Jury' Fug: Carrie Underwood Omnibus.

November 10, 2009

Who Fugged It More: Mary Alice Stephenson or Katherine Heigl

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Remember the time Katherine Heigl wore this? And we all chatted about it at length and it was so fun?

Well, except maybe for Katie. Whatever, she can go cry on a pile of cash and then go kick Dempsey in the shins, or whatever she does when she's feeling persecuted. ANYWAY, someone's trotted that old girl out again. I'd pretend it was a MYSTERY who, but her name's in the title up there. See?

Continue reading Who Fugged It More: Mary Alice Stephenson or Katherine Heigl.

November 5, 2009

Everybody's Fug

Fug file:

polls,
purple

Apparently, Drew here -- promoting Everybody's Fine, a movie I had no idea even existed, with a title that inspires absolutely no curiosity in me because, hey, if everybody's fine, then I don't need to pay $13 to check in with them -- is wearing one of Victoria Beckham's creations.

Time was, if we'd heard Posh would be designing clothes, we'd be girding our loins for leopard-print corsets attached to a skirt made of one linen napkin and a riding crop, a tutu made of soccer balls, or some kind of actual high-fashion loin-girder constructed from leather and three kitchen knives. Seriously, rewind to 2005, and ask yourself if you'd have envisioned this dress when someone said the words, "Designed by Victoria Beckham."

Some of Posh's other stuff is quite pretty, but this one is leaving me cold. It's very Walking Up The Aisle At A Winter Wedding, While Making Eye Contact With Hot Single Groomsman No. 2. I'm not entirely sure if the bodice fits, and the length is very stumpifying. I want it to be shorter. Indeed, as much as Drew has quirked it up lately to a level that is confusing to me (I will never understand the skunk dye job, for instance), this seems so tame that her very Drewness, that lively spirit, has gotten lost in its stodgy eggplant embrace. Woe. Indeed, I started this post as a Fug or Fab, and then realized I'd written the entire thing without very much optimism for the "fab" vote.

Eh, might as well put it to a poll anyway.

poll by twiigs.com

November 2, 2009

Happy Fugloween

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You know, maybe I'm not giving the army of Hollywood Sexy Halloween Whatevers enough credit. Maybe it takes rather a LOT of creativity to go as a Sultry Fill-In-The-Blank that people can't entirely figure out; Sexy Pirate, for instance, is really simple. But Jessica Lowndes here wasn't content with an eye-patch and a stuffed parrot, so she hunted all around town for the proper striped socks and corset and sleep shorts, and came up with this:

[Photo: Splash News]

It's the PERFECT ensemble if you want to make bystanders wager martinis with each other over whether you're in costume as the referee at the Lingerie Bowl or you're an ACTUAL Keg Softball umpire who's just taking a dinner break.

This one was more confusing:

Continue reading Happy Fugloween.

October 29, 2009

True Fug

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beige,
polls

As I mentioned during Fashion Week, I have, like, a sympatico relationship with Lynn "Top Hat" Collins here. She and I got caught up in a scrum together as reporters swarmed to attack Crazy Mickey Rourke (I was working, she was just trying to mind her own beeswax) and she totally shot me a, "this shit is CRAZY" look. We had a moment, is what I am saying. A moment in which we both were scared that the very appearance of Mickey Rourke would somehow accidentally lead to our being crushed to death together. So I am down with Lynn.

And because we're now best friends, I feel free to ask her, is that a jumpsuit, or just a remarkably well-matched pants and shirt? And then, regardless of her answer, I feel free to make a supportive, but noncommittal, mmmm-hmmm and try and talk her into wearing something else.

poll by twiigs.com

October 22, 2009

Played, Scarlett Johansson

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polls,
red

Before you write in and point out that I'm missing a word in the title of this post, I did that on purpose. I'm not super deeply in love with this ScarJo dress, but I don't think she's played it badly, so a regular post or a "Fug Or Fab" seem out of bounds. That's why it seems more appropriate merely to point out that she has indeed worn an outfit -- an outfit that I THINK I do at least LIKE once I distract myself from how much makeup she's wearing, EXCEPT...

... Can anyone tell me what those marks are on her calves? (Why I noticed these, and not Blake Lively's blotchy chest makeup from earlier today, I don't know.) They don't look like a bronzer accident; at first I thought they were footless nylons, but I don't think that's the case either. They almost remind me of the marks I get on my ankles if my gym socks are too tight. Or like how some guys don't grow hair below that point on their legs, because their socks rub the follicles or they tape their ankles for sports, or whatever the heck the reason is. Has Scarlett been logging too many hours on the treadmill or something? Is she wearing duct-tape socks that have eaten away at her pigment? I'm curious. Slap a tail on me, shove a banana in my mouth, and call me George.

Also: I remember a while ago there was a story on one of the tabloid sites about Scarlett Johansson feeling the need to deny rumors that she's dropped fifteen pounds. My first thought was probably something along the lines of, "Jessica Simpson is going to stab something when she reads this story." My second thought was, "Why do I find it impossible to remember that she's married to Ryan Reynolds? And how RANDOM did that feel? And do they ever actually spend time in each other's company, excepting that time she showed up on Saturday Night Live when he hosted?" And THEN I wondered where Scarlett Johansson would've found fifteen pounds to shave off even if she'd wanted to do so. But in looking at this photo, I do think she is skinnier, and that possibly her denial was just semantics -- in the sense that fifteen may not be the exact correct number of pounds she has lost, which is akin to saying, three days before your 22nd birthday, that it's untrue that you are 22: Technically you are setting the record straight, but it's splitting hairs. I don't think Scarlett needed to drop any weight (and in fact I suspect it was just a by-product of training for her Iron Man 2 role, rather than anything she did on purpose), but I don't think she looks unhealthy. It's just... different. It's not what we're used to from her. I do hope she will resume a worshipful relationship with sandwiches, but at least she's not veering into Lindsay Lohan territory here, and for that we can all be thankful.

poll by twiigs.com

October 21, 2009

Fabiola Berafuga

Fug file:

polls,
socialites

You guys, I am useless when I have to work at The Coffee Bean. Not that I'm not unappreciative of its ability to provide me Internet access when my DSL fails me, but this particular one has only two outlets, both of which force me to sit somewhere near the surface of the sun and squint and wear sunglasses in order to see my screen. Half the time this means I don't even have a good sense of what I'm looking at in the photos. I am reasonably sure this is Fabiola Beracasa, but if you e-mailed me and said, "How could you not notice that she's wearing a vest made of parrot feet?" then my response would be, "Because I am 90 percent blinded by the sunlight." Parenthetically, my home phone and DSL provider (who shall remain anonymous, but it rhymes with Way Fee & Fee) is going to get an angry letter from me: I have two infants at home and no proper 911 service for a week now, and supposedly they're not fixing anything until Friday night. What if something happens to them? What if I were a cell-phone-free little old lady with no way to call anyone in an emergency? What if someone breaks into my house to steal the twins? What if there is a fashion emergency and I can't see the photos? What if I fall and I can't get up? What if my house explodes and the only thing standing is my land line, and no one can use it to call the authorities? What if Intern George only has my home phone number and he's been trying to call to invite me to his villa and he's about to give up because it just rings and rings and rings? Come on, Flay Schmee & Schmee. For real. IT WAS JUST A LITTLE RAIN. MY GOD. GEORGE CLOONEY. BABIES.

Ahem. On to Fabiola:

I am not ENTIRELY sure, but I think this is the stuff the Wynn casino in Las Vegas uses on the awnings over the table games, and/or that she is working catering at a Mystere-themed cocktail party. But since my eyes are not a reliable tool today, I need you to confirm or reject my assessment.

poll by twiigs.com

October 20, 2009

Lindsay Lofug

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I can only hope that these pants are from Lindsay's Fall Leggings Line, which will have ventured out from being solely leggings and moved into being a purveyor of all sorts of tight pants:

That is, I'm pretty sure they're pants. They might be....brace yourselves, dear readers.... incredibly high-waisted shorts layered over tights. Look, I know Lilo has problems: violated paroles; unsuccessful stewardships of fashion houses; girlfriend drama; parents incapable of communicating in an effective and compassionate manner, much less in a way that doesn't involve People magazine; looming interventions; hair that suddenly recalls the finer work of Brett Michaels, etc. The question is: do these pants/shorts solve or ameliorate said issues? Or do they only pile onto the sweaty, toothless scrum that is Lilo's daily dramz? Exactly.

poll by twiigs.com

October 19, 2009

Better Played, Rose McGowan?

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There was much discussion recently about Ms Rose McGowan's wardrobial choices. I must admit that there's something kind of charming about her most current ensemble:

I don't know how I feel about the dress ITSELF -- I enjoy that it's quasi-Marilyn Monroe a la "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend," but I suspect she needs a chunky fabulous bracelet if she's going to make the (probably wise) choice to skip the gloves -- but I can't help but be amused by the expression on her face. She looks very, "Now you want me to stand over here? Really? Whatever you say, photo dude. Just make up your mind."

She totally mugged for the cameras once she got to her mark, too:

Continue reading Better Played, Rose McGowan?.

Results tagged “polls” from GoFugYourself

Who Fugged It More: Zoe Saldana or Chloe Sevigny

Fug file:

CMA Awards 'You The Jury' Fug: Carrie Underwood Omnibus

Fug file:

Who Fugged It More: Mary Alice Stephenson or Katherine Heigl

Fug file:

Everybody's Fug

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Happy Fugloween

Fug file:

True Fug

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Played, Scarlett Johansson

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Fabiola Berafuga

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Lindsay Lofug

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Better Played, Rose McGowan?

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