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August 21, 2009

Fugrose Place

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rompers

This outfit is SO Melrose Place.

Ashlee here is practically Dr. Kimberly Shaw. Jr. Maybe with a dash of Sydney. I could totally see this outfit in a storyline wherein she shimmies into this boob-crushing glorified support garment masquerading as lingerie, and lies in wait for a Dr. Michael Mancini-type -- maybe even the ACTUAL Dr. Michael Mancini -- but he's not interested because he's just so BORED of all her drama (and he's sleeping with about ten other people), and the rejection turns her mental, so she Rips Off Her Wig and becomes a prostitute and ends up throttling her pimp with her pearls, and they have to hire some smoldering-but-wooden former daytime soap actor (I nominate Victor Webster) to play her lawyer for the ensuing trial, acquittal, and bigamy storyline.

Unfortunately, none of that will come to pass, because this isn't Melrose Place. It's just Melrose 2.0 star Ashlee Simpson looking bad at a party. In a FORMAL ROMPER. Dr. Kimberly Shaw wouldn't just rip off her wig; she'd replace it with a blonde one and go mow down her personal shopper.

July 29, 2009

Inglourious Basfuggs

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The Inglourious Basterds premiere in Germany was just a sight to behold, you guys. I wish we could have been there! For one thing, we could have told Diane Kruger that she looks very pretty:

And then we could have whispered in the bathroom that we weren't WHOLLY sure about her hair, but LA LA LA LA WHERE'S PACEY? (Accessorizing herself with Josh Jackson was like the smartest thing ol' Krug has done in years, by the way. Well, along with starring in the National Treasure movies, which somehow manage to be WRETCHED and yet also amazing and hilarious at the same time.)

And then we could have yammered about this poor hot man, who was constantly being yelled at:

Continue reading Inglourious Basfuggs.

July 28, 2009

Fug Fug You Fug Me

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[Photos: Splash News]

BLAKE: Penn. I'm over here. Why are you walking so far away from me?

PENN: I'm... sick?

BLAKE: You were fine an hour ago.

PENN: I forgot to brush my teeth.

BLAKE: Didn't stop you from kissing me before I got into costume.

PENN: I ... am out of excuses.

BLAKE: Correct. Because guess what: I already know why. We've discussed this before.

PENN: You were totally right. Someone in wardrobe DOES hate you.

BLAKE: WHAT IS THIS THING?

PENN: It's bad, honey.

BLAKE: For real. Take a look-see at the other side.

Continue reading Fug Fug You Fug Me.

July 28, 2009

Fugly Perry

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You know, I was all set with a longer post about the various gag-inducing, brain-bursting sins of wearing a droopy hot-pants romper with a bunch of wrist bands from two nightclubs and one rave she had to get to by exchanging an egg.

[Photo: Splash News]

But I really think Katy Perry's facial expression says it all.

July 20, 2009

Fug Or Fab, Kate Walsh/Prifug Practice

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Kate Walsh has been all about the shorts lately -- which, if I had her legs, I probably would be too. I just read something about how her divorce is about to get really ugly because her ex's lawyer is allowed to depose ABC about her earnings potential at the network, and if that's true, then I guess divorce suits her because she's clearly working out all that aggression on her quads. Thanks in large part to them, I'm actually thinking mostly favorable thoughts about her formal-shorts ensemble here.

[All photos: WENN.com]

Don't misunderstand: It's still formal shorts, and I still find that concept a bit silly. But as far as seasonal whimsy goes, Kate looks kind of fabulous here -- the suit theme is playful, and the clutch and phenomenal gold wedges accessorize it really well without taking it over the top. It all makes me want to go sit outside somewhere fabulous and have a mojito, which is quite an achievement, considering it was 103 degrees in my back yard today and merely walking to the car felt like going into menopause.

poll by twiigs.com

However, I wish the hot California sun would've incinerated this little number:

Continue reading Fug Or Fab, Kate Walsh/Prifug Practice.

July 17, 2009

Fugmore Girls

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You guys! It's Lorelei and Rory Gilmore!

I would be SO much more excited about this if Lorelei weren't wearing a romper as re-imagined by Chico's -- let's be honest: that would look literally 100% better if it ended in skirt because she looks great up top while her bottom half is sort of awkward -- but I choose to take solace in the fact that Rory is clearly thinking the exact same thing.

July 17, 2009

Eva Fugford

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I am distressed to see that Eva "Changed Her Last Name To Marcille But I'm Not Buying It" Pigford is blowing her Young and Restless paycheck in the toddler section of Gymboree.

[Photo: WENN.com]

I don't care how leggy it makes her look. That thing is meant to be worn on a hot summer day by a pig-tailed moppet, not a Pigford strumpet who is still wearing her arm bracelet from last night's club.

It also tweaks me that Eva has reverted to the blonder hair color Tyra Banks picked for her, because Tyra has as stellar a record with makeovers as I have pitching no-hitters in the big leagues. But I AM deeply amused that Eva has found herself a purse that looks about as much like a hair weave as those nasty-ass things Tyra forces her models to get. In fact, I would not be at all shocked to turn on ANTM 13: Shorties On Parade to find that exact purse being sewn to some poor 5'7"-or-under girl's head, about 23 minutes before she struggles in the photo shoot and then is cut for a) not being able to pretend she's tall enough to model, and b) not understanding how to rock a cranial handbag.

July 7, 2009

XFugFugO, Gossip Girl

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[All photos: Splash News]

BLAKE LIVELY: Hey, Penn?

PENN BADGLEY: Yes?

BLAKE: I need to talk to you. It's really important.

PENN: Awesome. Text away. I'm ready.

BLAKE: No, I mean, I'm going to use actual words. Uttered out loud.

PENN: Are you sure? My phone is RIGHT here, and maybe we should protect our instruments.

BLAKE: Hush up and listen: I need to know who hates me.

PENN: ... Can you be more specific?

BLAKE: FUNNY. I mean, seriously, who is it on this show that hates me? Is it Josh Schwartz? The writers? The wardrobe department? Taylor Momsen? WHO IS IT?

PENN: Why do you think people hate you?

BLAKE: LOOK AT THIS THING. I'm wearing a sofa cushion over a romper with Robin Hood booties. If I stole from the rich and tried to give to the poor in this stupid thing, the poor would be like, "Girl, PLEASE, we're not taking anything from someone who doesn't understand how shorts fit."

PENN: They're kind of tight on you, I guess.

BLAKE: And check out what they do when I walk.

Continue reading XFugFugO, Gossip Girl.

May 22, 2009

Fugsip Girl

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LEIGHTON MEESTER: Admit it, this outfit totally makes you think of any scene from any show EVER where someone walked into a high-powered woman's office and proceeded to have sex with her on her desk. When they reboot L.A. Law, I am all OVER that.

JESSICA SZOHR: I am stunned. STUNNED. Because... I actually look kind of cute in this.

TAYLOR MOMSEN: BORING.

BLAKE LIVELY: I know this is a romper. I KNOW. And I know it's kind of skimpy. Like I should be wearing it at the beach. But just look at me and remember that I'm hot, and that you love my hair, and then maybe you won't SEE that it's a romper.

LEIGHTON: You can't tell if I'm wearing formal shorts. That is my genius. You just want to know if I'm going to, ahem, prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law. If you get my drift.

JESSICA: Why did I get these dumb extensions back in, though? Down at the ends they look like I hacked them off a corpse. I REALLY need to stop undercutting myself.

TAYLOR: DOUBTFUL.

BLAKE: It's just... you don't understand! My legs! I have these LEGS! It's like a curse, having these legs and needing to show them off in tiny, tiny shorts. And these BOOBS. It's like I can't control what they put themselves in, because they just need to be SEEN.

LEIGHTON: You keep telling yourself that, sweetie.

TAYLOR: VOMIT.

LEIGHTON: Oh, quit your posturing and be happy you have a job.

May 19, 2009

Fugda Song

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Ever wonder why we argue so stridently against The Romper?

I assume this answers all your questions.

Results tagged “rompers” from GoFugYourself

Fugrose Place

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Inglourious Basfuggs

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Fug Fug You Fug Me

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Fugly Perry

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Fug Or Fab, Kate Walsh/Prifug Practice

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Fugmore Girls

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Eva Fugford

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XFugFugO, Gossip Girl

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Fugsip Girl

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Fugda Song

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