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September 26, 2008

Fug Anything

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Pop quiz: You have tickets to Broadway's opening performance of Naked Daniel Radcliffe. You probably shouldn't be so excited, because there are horses involved, but you can't help it because little Harry Potter is all grown up now and he's pretty damn cute, and it's all legal, so everyone should just CHILL and enjoy the fine, fine acting.

Would you:

a) Try and look as cute as possible, because a night out on the town is worth some hot shoes;

b) Brush your hair and put on some mascara; or

c) Dress up like an ER nurse who, on her way to her night job at the soup kitchen, got cornered at one of those old-timey photo booths where they put a costume on you and then snap your picture in sepia-tones.

[Photo: WENN]

Well, I guess they do say that when in doubt, pick c.

May 16, 2008

Fug the Future

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"Oh, CRAP," Gillian Anderson seems to be thinking, "I'm still wearing my towel, aren't I?" I'm sorry, Agent Scully, but it seems that you are. But take heart! It appears to be a very, very expensive towel, and you can just tell everyone that you were forced to wear this as part of a black ops government experiment involving black oil, guys with bionic arms, super soldiers, your ova, a chip in the back of your neck, a guy with a wicked nicotine addiction, and a variety of little green men. That sounds like a pretty good excuse to me.

May 6, 2008

Met Ball Fug Carpet: The Olsens

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ASHLEY: People will get this, right? That I'm going as a superhero's VICTIM? With the ripped clothes?

CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN: POW!

MARY-KATE: You know who'd have loved this? Frankie Sinatra. Oh, he was a card.

ASHLEY: What?

LOUBOUTIN: ZAP!

M-K: It all reminds me of the time I did Carson with a lit cigarette in my hair. How McMahon did laugh! He was all hands, that Eddie. And what a tongue!

ASHLEY: I don't understand.

LOUBOUTIN: KER-BLAM!

M-K: Somebody get me a scotch, neat, and make it a double. God, that reminds me of that night with Carol Channing and the Hardy Boys. I've got stories about that hussy that would make your toes curl.

ASHLEY: How is it that we're related? Sometimes I think this whole thing is a bizarre accident.

LOUBOUTIN: WHAMMO!

M-K: It's like Bette Davis used to say: "If you can't take off your clothes, then it's not worth having dinner." Or was that Paris Hilton?

ASHLEY: The worst part is, people might think you're ME. Clearly I have to dye my hair again.

M-K: You want to talk about buying new drapes? Let me tell you about the day Phyllis Diller came over for canasta and absinthe -- we'd both been having these WICKED hot flashes, see, and...

LOUBOUTIN: SPLAT!

ASHLEY: Time to go.

March 20, 2008

Byrdie Fug

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I'm really not sure what all is going on in socialite Byrdie Bell's life.

But it appears to include a grueling gig playing Piper Perabo's long-lost cousin in Coyote Ugly 2: Coyote Uglier. Please fight the moonlight, Byrdie -- I think you really, really need to get some sleep. And perhaps a personal shopper.

February 26, 2008

Oscars Post-Party Fug: Jeremy Piven

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Man Fugs,
rumpled

Hey Jer,

What's up? Not a lot going on right now, huh? Kinda just bored at home? Doing a lot of "chillaxing" with your bros? Yeah, us too. You know, just doing our thing. I feel you.

One thing, though:

I know it was The Most Boring Oscars EverTM, and everyone -- except Marion Cotillard, whom I've decided upon reflection that I might be in love with -- looked Totally Boring, but do you really think it's wise to attempt, once again, the old I'm Too Cool to Bathe, Dude, I Just Show Up And Do My Thing scuzzathon? It's possible no one told you, but Colin Farrell JUST did that. And he actually made me laugh during a leaked sex tape (not that I watched it, I totally just made that up, but if I had watched Colin Farrell's sex tape -- under duress obviously -- then I might have laughed when, whilst manning the camera, he commented that his cinematography was REALLY terrible and embarrassing.). So I think it's apt to note that he might be the more skilled man at Charming Scuzzery. You know?

February 12, 2008

The Fug Patient

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Children, gather round and let me tell you a tale. This woman pictured below, Juliette Binoche, is secretly tremendously good-looking. So why, you ask, is she showing up places in a dress seemingly purchased from Dowdy McBland's House of Frump?

I wish I could tell you. It is, indeed, a tragedy. Perhaps she's in preparation for a role which requires her to look downtrodden and monochromatic. Perhaps she's appearing in a film called Shades of Gray, about all the subtleties and ethics of modern life, and is doing very secretive PR for it. Or perhaps she's just depressed.

February 1, 2008

Fug's Gold

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I am very fond of a ruffle. Especially a saucy neck ruffle. Very fond indeed. Perhaps overly fond. But I can't help it. I also like polka dots. So take this opinion of mine with a hefty grain of salt, as usual. But here goes: Mayhap, PERCHANCE, a giant neck ruffle is NOT a great plan when Los Angeles is in the middle of a huge, blustery windstorm:

Aw, that's almost adorable in that Alexis Morrell Carrington Colby Dexter Dexter Rowan kind of way, and the color is fantastic on her. Also, this frock could come in handy if Kate Hudson decides to become a flamenco dancer on a whim. You never know.

And then, the action shot:

Continue reading Fug's Gold.

January 10, 2008

Well Played: Helena Bonham Carter

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red,
rumpled

Oh, kooky Helena Bonham Carter. I love you. I love you as Bellatrix Lestrange. I loved you as Lucy Honeychurch. I love that you probably did your own hair for Sweeney Todd, as it was a messy birds' nest that closely resembled how your hair looked at every event from 2004-2007. I love that you are married to Tim Burton, as I suspect you two have long conversations about things that are not of this world. I love it when you show up places looking like you've just wandered out of the attic. In the Edwardian era. And I actually love this:

Yeah, she just had a baby, like this morning. So way to rock the red satin bedsheets, HBC. Seriously.

June 9, 2005

What You Fuggin' For?

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rumpled,
SIGH

I love it when people wear their skirts in such a way that there is little or no real estate between the waist and the armpits:

Does she just have the worst static-cling imaginable, or did Gwen Stefani just come from making out with the school rebel underneath the bleachers? Those are some third-base wrinkles on that skirt...

... And, Gwen, way to sneak in those infamous leggings. Don't think we didn't notice, lady. You're not that fair-skinned.

Results tagged “rumpled” from GoFugYourself

Fug Anything

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Fug the Future

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Met Ball Fug Carpet: The Olsens

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Byrdie Fug

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Oscars Post-Party Fug: Jeremy Piven

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The Fug Patient

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Fug's Gold

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Well Played: Helena Bonham Carter

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What You Fuggin' For?

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