Search Results

November 11, 2009

Stephanie Fugcobsen

Fug file:

Stephanie Jacobsen is on the shockingly watchable new Melrose Place as the Med Student Who Pays The Bills With Prostitution (not a spoiler, since she turned to the oldest profession in the pilot). And she is much prettier than this:

That dress is a very, very sad sack. It could even be an ugly shirt over a mini-skirt. All I know is, she has no business wearing a glorified lobster bib to a party unless her date is a man-sized crustacean.

She also needs to learn a thing or two about short skirts and posing. This is safe for work, so no fear:

Continue reading Stephanie Fugcobsen.

July 7, 2009

XFugFugO, Gossip Girl

Fug file:

[All photos: Splash News]

BLAKE LIVELY: Hey, Penn?

PENN BADGLEY: Yes?

BLAKE: I need to talk to you. It's really important.

PENN: Awesome. Text away. I'm ready.

BLAKE: No, I mean, I'm going to use actual words. Uttered out loud.

PENN: Are you sure? My phone is RIGHT here, and maybe we should protect our instruments.

BLAKE: Hush up and listen: I need to know who hates me.

PENN: ... Can you be more specific?

BLAKE: FUNNY. I mean, seriously, who is it on this show that hates me? Is it Josh Schwartz? The writers? The wardrobe department? Taylor Momsen? WHO IS IT?

PENN: Why do you think people hate you?

BLAKE: LOOK AT THIS THING. I'm wearing a sofa cushion over a romper with Robin Hood booties. If I stole from the rich and tried to give to the poor in this stupid thing, the poor would be like, "Girl, PLEASE, we're not taking anything from someone who doesn't understand how shorts fit."

PENN: They're kind of tight on you, I guess.

BLAKE: And check out what they do when I walk.

Continue reading XFugFugO, Gossip Girl.

June 12, 2009

Fug Matthews

Fug file:

Meg Matthews here is the ex-wife of Oasis' Noel Gallagher. And here's hoping she paid attention when his band sang all those times about not looking back in anger, or else someday she may have a rage-induced aneurysm when she stumbles upon this photo:

I mean, it really wasn't a good idea to fashion a sleeve out of something she found wadded up in an old gift bag. It totally wasn't necessary to add footless tights, much less ones that depict vines creeping up toward her knees as if to ingest them. And she CERTAINLY did not have to wear a giant taffeta sack that appears to end in bloomers. Ladies, the ONLY thing that should end in bloomers is a Shakespeare play, or possibly someone's shift at the Mead Parlor at the local Renaissance Faire. Remember that.

June 8, 2009

Fugtie Fugce

Fug file:

Often, we've entreated Katie Price to cover up, or put various things away.

But an unflattering $10 rhinestone-studded mini-caftan in a subtle shade of Violent Sunburn is not exactly the solution I envisioned. Which may be for the best -- after all, I did always assume that the day Katie Price's tastes and mine dovetail into beautiful alignment would be the day I leave the house in legwarmers over leggings and a shirt made of Ruffles bags. So, you know, we've got at least a few weeks to go yet.

April 20, 2009

Fugvate Fugtice

Fug file:

ALEC MAPA: Hi, I'm Alex Mapa from Ugly Betty, and I'm here at the GLAAD Awards with...

KATE WALSH: Ah, yes. The GLAAD Awards. Know what I'm just so glaaaad about, Alec?

ALEC: Ha ha, no, Kate, and it's not on the TelePrompTer, so...

KATE: I'm glaaaad I left Grey's Anatomy before all the bitches started whining. I'm glaaaad I've made out with twice as many hot dudes on my own show as I did on that one. I'm glaaaaaad I stopped eating anything white. I'm SO glaaad someone loaned me this necklace, which appears to have been made out of Kim Kardashian's talons. I'm REALLY GLAAAAD I look like a Swingtown refugee in this baggy coral bellbottom jumpsuit. And I'm HELLA WICKED GLAAAAD that it's so boring and shapeless and weirdly made that people will think I stapled it together myself last night while I was up watching Metal Mania on VH-1 Classic. Do you know why. Alec? Do you?

ALEC: Well, no, I...

KATE: Forget it, I don't have to explain myself to you bitches. Suck it, America.

ALEC: Ooooookay, then. I'm glaaaaad you're finally walking off-stage.

March 11, 2009

The Fug.C.

Fug file:

So, it's not like I honestly think poor Adam "Please Hire Me" Brody is at home, still pining over generally-cute-as-a-button-ex Rachel Bilson. But on the off chance that he IS wandering around his house, occasionally sighing and gazing off into space as he think about What Could Have Been and wishing he could have her back....I feel like this might help with that:

[Photo: FlynetOnline.com ]

GIRL. WHAT. NO. HUH? I can't think of a BETTER outfit to wear if you're planning on running into your ex, and you want him to recoil and think, "THANK GOD I got out of THAT ONE." I don't think I have EVER wanted that to happen, but maybe now that she's engaged to Hayden Whatshisnuts, she's feeling charitable. You know, about this fictional scenario I've cooked up to excuse this whole thing.

January 12, 2009

Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Rachel Griffiths

Fug file:

This was just never going to work.

I'm not even necessarily talking about the fact that it's a shapeless tent-- it's not great, but if she's secretly pregnant again (not to rumor-monger, although I DO love to monger a good rumor), it's functional. No, I'm more referring to the fact that it's a shapeless tent made of gold satin that was never, ever NOT going to wrinkle like Bea Arthur in a bathtub. Hail Caesar -- at least that dude knew how to make a toga that didn't look like he'd just slept in it for two days on the Forum floor.

November 7, 2008

MTV Europe Awards Fug Carpet: Estelle

Fug file:

Listen, I know playing around with a roll of Reynolds Wrap probably seems super fun -- but when Estelle tried this on, I'm not exactly sure which part of it she thought fit her.

The bottom is all shapeless and baggy, and the top is cutting off the circulation to her boobs. She's going to be super bummed when they go numb in about half an hour. I almost want to start a donation jar, but frankly, Estelle will make plenty of money when she becomes the Beautiful Young Face Of Comatose Mammary Syndrome.

October 23, 2008

Fugstore Cowboy

Fug file:

I am shockingly bad at keeping Kelly Lynch and Kelly Preston differentiated in my head. Like, I know ON SIGHT which one of them was in Drugstore Cowboy and which one of them is married to John Travolta. Like, if I were a witness to a crime one of them committed and they were both in a police line-up, I would ROCK that line-up. But if, say, Lennie Brisco (RIP) sauntered up to my apartment door and asked me which of them, say, poisoned her hot au pair's fro-yo to punish her for seducing her husband, or whatever, I would be all, "uh, Kelly.....?" and Lennie would give me the eyebrow and be all, "a last name would help, lady," and I would be all, "I DON'T KNOOOW."

Which is why I'm going to do Kelly Lynch here a solid and just start telling people that I saw Kelly Preston out and about in a heavily beaded sack from the Mother of the Bride collection at Cost Plus World Markets. You're welcome, Kelly. But one day, I may want something from you in return. And these sort of favors don't come cheap. So start saving, sugar.

September 10, 2008

One Fug Hill

Fug file:

You can not IMAGINE my excitement when I saw Manfaced Lindsay from One Tree Hill in person at the tents today! (And that's not me being mean. The show has actually CALLED HER Manfaced Lindsay. That's too funny not to adopt.) You remember Lindsay! She's Chad Michael Murray's book editor who he almost married but she left him at the altar because she realized that he's still in love with Peyton after she read his second book which was all about how he's still in love with Peyton, which will make an awesome sequel to the first book of his, about how he's still in love with Peyton. So he's all, "I do," and she was all, "for maximum dramatic impact, I will break up with you now," and ran out and then everyone forgot because Baby Jamie was KIDNAPPED by his evil nanny who is NOW holding Jamie's evil, brother-murdering, grave-immolating grandpa hostage as revenge for rescuing the kid in rather awesome fashion. Anyway, she's on Law and Order: Sports Utility Vehicle now, but she'll always be Manfaced Linsday to me, even though her face is actually not manly. Or WILL SHE?

Fine! Slouchy Lindsay it is! Good luck prosecuting the bad guys with that terrible posture, kid.

Results tagged “shapeless” from GoFugYourself

Stephanie Fugcobsen

Fug file:

XFugFugO, Gossip Girl

Fug file:

Fug Matthews

Fug file:

Fugtie Fugce

Fug file:

Fugvate Fugtice

Fug file:

The Fug.C.

Fug file:

Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Rachel Griffiths

Fug file:

MTV Europe Awards Fug Carpet: Estelle

Fug file:

Fugstore Cowboy

Fug file:

One Fug Hill

Fug file:

Search

Fug Favorites

Featured Fugger

The Book of fug

Subscribe to GFY