Results tagged “skin is not a shirt” from GoFugYourself

October 30, 2009

Labor Fugs

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skin is not a shirt

So it's come to this.

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Lindsay Lohan is wearing TWO things that button in front of her torso, and yet somehow neither one of them manages to be fastened. Indeed, she's actually CLUTCHING it closed. Either the girl has dieted away the memory of how to use buttons, or she's about to throw open her coat and ask me if I want to buy a watch from the glittering array of Faux-lex timepieces she has swinging from the lining.

October 28, 2009

The Celebrity Fugprentice

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Carol Alt is in great shape but OH MY GOD LADY PUT IT AWAY.

That is not a top. That is a BRA. And in comparison to the totally innocuous jeans and coat, it is DEEPLY ALARMING to look at the place where a SHIRT should be and see FULL-ON, FREDERICK'S OF HOLLYWOOD UNDERWEAR. The only explanation I can think of for this is that, in a Seinfeld-like scenario, one of Carol's friends gave her undergarments in a passive-aggressive move to force her to wear some, and this is how she retaliated.

And you know what happens when you go out wearing a bra with no top:

YOU'RE FLOUTING SOCIETY'S CONVENTIONS, CAROL. I can't really say it any better than Jackie Chiles.

October 27, 2009

Fughab

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I just wrote this whole post about a picture of Amy Winehouse, and then I realized I needed to put the photo itself after a jump because, in addition to not being safe for those of you with a sensitive aesthetic sensibility, nor is it safe for work.

BEWARE. DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU. (Also: you've seen worse so don't be TOO scared. I mean, a little fear is good. Invigorating, even. But we're not talking a trip to Downstairs Ladyville. It's not THAT NSFW. But it is PRETTY unsafe for...oh, just make sure your boss isn't standing behind you and look.)

Continue reading Fughab.

October 15, 2009

Fuga Palmer-Tomkinson

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Tara Palmer-Tomkinson is known primarily on this side of the pond as being That British Lady Who Needs To Eat And Doesn't Do Anything Except Be Tan And Naked.

And, for the moment, That British Lady Whose Photo Is Not Safe For Work:

Continue reading Fuga Palmer-Tomkinson.

September 24, 2009

Fug Rock

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METHOD MAN: Damn, Kid Rock. DAMN.

KID ROCK: What-WHAT, dude! My tracksuit is the jam!

MM: It's... definitely rare, man.

KR: What the hell?

MM: Let me put it this way: Are you 60 trying to act 35?

KR: A 60-year old can't put back Coors Light by the kegful, dude.

MM: Then are you sponsored by Carl's Jr.?

KR: No. But now that you mention it, I should totally be the new face of the Six-Dollar Burger. I AM a six-dollar burger, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.

MM: I don't. At all. Are you drunk right now?

KR: Am I drunk? Am I drunk! Is the bling around my neck made from the rope of a Roman prostitute's toga?

MM: I thought so. On both counts, actually.

KR: DAMN SKIPPY.

July 22, 2009

In Fugging Color

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Comedian Tommy Davidson just wants you to know one thing:

His new abs workout is going GREAT!!

July 6, 2009

Disfugia

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As luck would have it, this is totally what I wore when I was celebrating the 4th of July at TAO in Vegas!

[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

It goes without saying that girlfriend has a great body but OH MY GOD THOSE ARE PASTIES UNDERNEATH A BLAZER. This is what you wear when, at some point, you are going to dramatically rip off said blazer as you strut confidently toward the pole while "Pour Some Sugar on Me" blares from the speakers. I do enjoy how BORED she looks, though, all, "yeah, I'm wearing sequined pasties. YAWN. Can you all just wig out about this now so we can get it over with and get on with our night?"

Always one to please, let's take a closer look and commence the wigging out. This is....well, it's TECHNICALLY safe for work, but if your boss would find it odd that you're examining pasties in close up, consider yourself warned.

Continue reading Disfugia.

July 3, 2009

The Fugist

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So, about a week ago, I totally misread a story on Movieline and got it into my head that Adam "Seth Cohen" Brody was making some movie about being in prison. And I was VERY EXCITED by the prospect. So you can imagine my woe when I realized that ONCE AGAIN I misread, and it was actually ADRIEN Brody. (If you're following our Twitter, you don't have to imagine it because I think I posted something that included wails and gnashing of teeth.) And here he is, to rub it in:

[Photo: WENN.com]

DUDE. Just as two wrongs don't make a right, a vee-neck cardigan and a freaking BANDANNA do NOT MAKE A SHIRT. You're FREAKING ME OUT here. Put on. Some clothes. You fool.

July 2, 2009

Fugs Aloud

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So, I guess it was recently Cheryl Cole's birthday. She's in the Brit girl group Girls Aloud and is an X Factor judge and married to dreamy footballer (did I just use that term correctly? "Footballer," I mean. I am quite confident in my use of the word "dreamy.") Ashley Cole. And while I am generally of the belief that you should wear WHATEVER YOU WANT on your birthday, I didn't exactly mean this:

[Photo: Splash News]

Um. Wow. Ashley looks so sharp, and Cheryl looks so... well, maybe I need to see it from another angle?

Continue reading Fugs Aloud.

June 23, 2009

Iron Fug II

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Haiku For Mickey Rourke

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Mickey, Mickey, no.
Your lunacy can charm, yes.
But you need a shirt

Maybe you forgot?
I know these things can happen.
A Post-It might help!

Truly. Just a note:
"Shoes, pants, shirt, accessories."
Avert a mishap!

I just want to help.
And don't want you to catch cold.
Remember your health!

I'm glad we talked.
Communication is key.
Feel better? I do!

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