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July 28, 2009

Fug Fug You Fug Me

Fug file:

[Photos: Splash News]

BLAKE: Penn. I'm over here. Why are you walking so far away from me?

PENN: I'm... sick?

BLAKE: You were fine an hour ago.

PENN: I forgot to brush my teeth.

BLAKE: Didn't stop you from kissing me before I got into costume.

PENN: I ... am out of excuses.

BLAKE: Correct. Because guess what: I already know why. We've discussed this before.

PENN: You were totally right. Someone in wardrobe DOES hate you.

BLAKE: WHAT IS THIS THING?

PENN: It's bad, honey.

BLAKE: For real. Take a look-see at the other side.

Continue reading Fug Fug You Fug Me.

May 5, 2009

Met Ball Fug Carpet: Molly Sims

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I have to think that some of the Met Ball attendees misunderstood the "Models As Muse" theme and thought it was, "Models AMUSE."

Because former model Molly Sims is cracking me up here. She looks like she's wearing Blake Carrington's living room sofa. Bless.

April 13, 2009

Fugsica Simpson

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[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

JESSICA: Ugh.

TONY: What's up, babe?

JESSICA: Yuck.

TONY: Speak up, babe.

JESSICA: Everything always seems like such a good idea when I'm at home.

TONY: Word, babe.

JESSICA: And now that I'm out, and there are photographers, like, of COURSE I feel like this stupid dress makes me look like a giant sofa cushion from that furniture sitting on Aunt Edna's lanai in Palm Beach.

TONY: Too true, babe.

JESSICA: And I... wait, what?

TONY: I hear you, babe.

JESSICA: You don't. You're just saying stuff. You're not even listening to my pain. WHY DOES NO ONE LISTEN TO MY PAIN?

TONY: Dude, babe.

JESSICA: I hate today.

March 3, 2009

Fug High Musical

Fug file:

[Photo: Splash News]

ZAC EFRON: Whoa, V.

VANESSA HUDGENS: Whoa yourself.

ZAC: That didn't look so short when the chick from Guiding Light wore it. I think it looks.... maybe a bit less dumpy on you? But if you were going to shorten it, why didn't you just go the extra half-inch and make it a shirt?

VANESSA: Why didn't YOU go the extra half-inch and wash your hair?

ZAC: Dude, these are all the rage. If knit caps are good enough for Hoffman Philip Seymour, then it's good enough for me. We are both serious actors.

VANESSA: Yeah, but that was because his hair is crazy. For a PART. Yours is your TRADEMARK, Zac. Also, that's not his name.

ZAC: Sorry, Seymour Hoffman Philip.

VANESSA: Nope.

ZAC: Philip Hoffman Seymour?

VANESSA: Three strikes. You're out.

ZAC: At least I'm not wearing a throw pillow.

VANESSA: I hate it when we fight.

ZAC: I thrive on these spats. They fuel me for my future dramatic acting roles in the vein of Hoffman Seymour Philip. I want him to play my father in something.

VANESSA: Oooh, how about, like, Community Theater Group Musical? He could be our characters' mentor, who...

ZAC: You are so cute. But I'm an Actor now. I have Actor Filth, like... Mr. Capote Man... and Johnny Depp. But you go ahead with trying to get that off the ground, okay? Maybe Chace Crawford can sing.

VANESSA: You were nicer with your bangs showing.

ZAC: It's a new dawn, baby.

February 12, 2009

7th Fugden

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I know this happened over the weekend, but I just dug it out from underneath the giant pile of stuff from the Grammys and the BAFTAs and Sarah Jessica Parker's starring role in Camel Toe Run. And I screeched in horror yet anew:

On one hand: enjoy standing that close to an Oscar honey, because that's as near as you're going to get to one, unless you break into Meryl Streep's house next time you're in the neighborhood.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Name Twin. That was unkind. I just could not resist. Also, I'm pretty sure I'm right. But look at Hilary Swank: when she was best known for being the Girl Karate Kid and making out with Steve Sanders, we never thought she would end up having two Academy Awards. And I have been wrong before. So....good luck with that, is what I'm saying. Because unless JT ends up writing some mangy tune for some animated -- I'll stop now. I'm sorry. Really. Forgive.

In fact, I feel so guilty about making all these jokes about your skills that I won't even mention that you're wearing a sofa. Are we square now? You're the best.

February 11, 2009

Grammy Awards Fug Ceremony: Zooey Deschanel

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purple,
sofa style

"Oh, shit. Did my stylist say I look like the Sofa King Droopy -- you know, of Droopy and Dave's Awesome Sofas You Love -- or....so f%@#*ing droopy? WHY DIDN'T I ASK HER BEFORE I GOT OUT OF THE CAR?"

February 3, 2009

He's Just Fug Into Fug

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Considering that the trailer for He's Just Not That Into You is an epically unfunny letdown when you factor in the huge, experienced cast -- in addition to the fact that Jess and I have had lengthy discussions on how the emphasis being placed on "not," which you can see in this backdrop, seems wrong; shouldn't it be either "He's just not that into you," or, "He's just not that into you, or even, "He's just not that into you"? -- I suppose it's apt that all the clothes these actresses wore to the premieres are epic letdowns as well. Personally, I am just not that into Scarlett Johansson's fabric choices lately. Like, what is this?

I hate dipping back into the old "I once saw a $1500 sofa in that pattern," nor do I want to regurgitate that faithful "bed in a bag" jibe or even "I think her stylist should stop showing her wallpaper samples." Even though they all apply. But fortunately, the ACTUAL first image that came into my head was of one of those ornate Russian nesting dolls, and after a couple similarly themed complaints came in from our readers, I decided to embrace that angle:

Continue reading He's Just Fug Into Fug.

December 19, 2008

The Fug and the Fugless

Fug file:

This holiday season, I am thankful for many things: My health, my family, my Dr. Murad zit-blasting face wash, the fact that it's cold enough in Los Angeles to wear coats, mulled wine, fondue, the Pittsburgh Steelers defense, the fact that the hideously, brain-searingly, stabby-makingly awful Sears ad with that Five For Fighting song is seasonal and should therefore go off the air soon... the list is long.

But on there, somewhere, is a note of gratitude that Michelle Stafford did not come upon this pattern in dress form:

For one thing, it's a rather ugly pattern, so the less of it assaulting my eyes, the better. But I'm also thankful she wore this outfit exactly as it is, because it's so AMUSING. I got a welcome laugh out of it this morning. It's ridiculous -- it's like wearing a turtleneck over your prom dress, or trying to repurpose your wedding gown by throwing on a t-shirt. She looks like a piece of furniture you'd find in the Titanic wreckage, right down to the presence of some mildew at the base. Oh, Phyllis. Why were you even AT the Valkyrie premiere? You just caught your husband making out with his ex-wife in Paris and your father-in-law VICTOR NEWMAN (whose name generally requires all-caps, as that's how everyone utters it on the show) is in prison for something he didn't do and your rich old friend is presumed dead but is actually suffering from the kind of amnesia that makes a girl color her hair and sling hash at a remote diner. You have PROBLEMS. You don't have TIME to waddle around in thigh-chafing baroque upholstery. I hope Santa puts some leg salve in your stocking.

Which segues us nicely to: Jessica and I will be taking a short Christmas break, so that we can fully concentrate on bribing Santa with brandy and cookies (EVERYONE looks nice after a few hot toddies), using way too much tape to wrap our presents, making merry with Intern George, and sleeping until noon. We will miss you, but frankly, it's not like you guys would be reading anyway. If you celebrate Christmas, your to-do list is probably a lot like the one we listed for ourselves, and if you don't, you're probably luxuriating in the fact that there's no traffic and probably very short lines in restaurants because everyone else is at home lazily lounging in front of their trees and refusing to change out of their pajamas. Barring the onset of unexpected holiday ennui, we're giving ourselves the weeks of Christmas and New Year's Eve to relax, meaning we'll be back with new posts in 2009.

Happy holidays, have a wonderful end to 2008, and as ever, thank you so much for all the love and support and occasionally deeply entertaining hate mail you've given us this year. We have the greatest readers in the world and we want nothing but the best for you all in 2009. Remember, Fug Madness is just around the corner....

XOXO,
Fugsip Girls

December 16, 2008

Can't Fug You Out Of My Head

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[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

It was a perfectly pleasant lunch until, five minutes later, an absent-minded photographer started rooting through Kylie's pillows for loose change before attempting to stretch out and take a nap on her skirt.

June 19, 2008

The Rachel Zoe Fug

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I wonder when The Rachel Zoe Project, that Bravo reality show about everyone's favorite celebrity stylist, will actually premiere -- if ever. I feel like that might be one of those shows that sort of languishes in post-production for three years and then Bravo airs it at 3am on Christmas day. I also imagine that if RZ here is allowed to give notes (which I'm sure she is), they might be currently causing the folks working on the show to tear out their collective hair. I once worked on a project about a certain celebrity, and she would always be calling and telling us to take out shots of her armpits. And yet she wore tank tops almost constantly. So I imagine that Rachel's Crazy-Making Note would be, "can you cut out that part where I'm dressed like the winner of the Ugly Couch Contest?"

"Sure, Rachel. We'll just pixelate your whole body."

Results tagged “sofa style” from GoFugYourself

Fug Fug You Fug Me

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Met Ball Fug Carpet: Molly Sims

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Fugsica Simpson

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Fug High Musical

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7th Fugden

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Grammy Awards Fug Ceremony: Zooey Deschanel

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He's Just Fug Into Fug

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The Fug and the Fugless

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Can't Fug You Out Of My Head

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The Rachel Zoe Fug

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