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November 5, 2009

2 Become Fug

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Dearest Mel B. You have serious problems here. How to put this...

How about if I borrow from one of your tender Spice Girls ballads:

Get a little bit clothed here, baby.
Put 'em on, put 'em on.
'Cause tonight
Is the night
Your pants must get done.
You need some trou like you've never needed trou before (let 'em make love to you, baby).
You've got a little shirt -- now go back for more (don't let it make fug to you, baby).
Setting your crotch free
Is no public way to be.

October 9, 2009

Fugi Hallifug

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I'm so delighted Geri made sure to wear her largest, most gorilla-esque coat.

[Photo: WENN.com]

Because I would just HATE for her to be out on the town without the proper coverage on her arms.

May 6, 2009

Met Ball Fug-or-Fab Carpet: Victoria Beckham

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The fact that our girl Posh was not even close to being the weirdest-dressed Met Ball attendee almost makes me wonder if we're in some kind of alternate universe, where up is down, down is up, high-waisted pants are universally flattering, and Intern George has a blemish.

But she's still the leggy, over-tanned exhibitionist we know and love. Or hate, or just can't be bothered to feel ANYTHING about except a mild urge to pack her back to a life of obscurity. As for how I feel about THIS, I don't know. It has all the Posh hallmarks: huge shoes that don't look especially comfortable (is she en pointe in those things?), a tiny skirt that jettisons her thigh muscles from the unbearable prison of fabric, and an eruption of attempted drama. The minidress kind of reminds me of an old-school swimsuit -- the type of thing we'd call a Bathing Costume, with the merest hint of a snooty accent to remind us that it's from Olden Times. The cape? Maybe a matching cover-up.

But I don't know if it's interesting enough to scream either fug OR fab, yet it's also not dullsville, because it's Posh, and she IS strutting around like a polka-dotted peacock. And when you factor in my general feelings of affection for Her Campiness, it's probably best to let you guys be the voice of judgment.

poll by twiigs.com

March 24, 2009

Zigga Zig Fug

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Let's get one thing straight: Geri Halliwell is looking amazing: She deserves only props for how hot she is.

So why not leave SOMETHING to the imagination? Or, at the very least, go for something that doesn't so tragically mishandle her lovely lady lumps and/or makes her look a bit like the car hop at the world's fanciest drive-in burger joint? Not that she wouldn't make a cute car hop. I'm just wondering if the alternative wasn't considered...

March 5, 2009

Fug or Fab: Emma "Baby Spice" Bunton

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I don't know about this, Baby Spice:

[Photo: Splash News]

YOU are adorable. THIS is a bit...granny, no? Maybe it's the wee jacket? I'm not sure. I have a sinus infection and I think it might be reaching its claws into my brain. Nevertheless, something about it makes me feel as though you are about two minutes away from bursting into jazz hands.

poll by twiigs.com

October 16, 2008

Zig-A-Fug-Ah

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"People of Earth, I -- an envoy from the Spice Belt of a galaxy far, far away -- walk among you to deliver a very important message."

"Can I borrow a cup of sugar? Because my boss, Her Highness the Intergalactic Warrior Queen -- you may know her as Grace Jones -- said she was going to fire the next handmaiden who failed to deliver her morning waffles on time. And GUESS who forgot to go to Trader Bjork's yesterday for supples? You'd really be doing me a solid, here, Earthlings. In return I promise not to abduct any of your planet's tiny entertainers in my hood. Although I confess I'm REALLY tempted by that Tom Cruise person. He'd make a wonderful addition to the Imperial Senate's Supermassive Sasshole Subcommittee... Wait, what's that? I can just take him? Huh. Actually, to be totally honest, I'd kind of prefer the sugar. Thanks."

June 4, 2008

Fug World

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Oh, GERI:

While I respect the desire to spice up your life with a rejected Dancing with the Stars costume, and I know that you and your spicy ilk believe that too much of something is bad enough and that too much of nothing is just as tough, surely there's a middle ground between those two that doesn't involve illusion netting over your navel. And while I'm sure it's hard for you to attend the same event at which Posh once wore her infamous hot pants and corset ensemble without making a similar attempt at fashion infamy, this is nearly a two-piece -- in which one of said pieces is a bikini top. It would have been so much stronger had those 2 become 1, don't you think? You're looking smashing lately, Geri. It's fair to say that I'm a fan. In fact I'd like to give you everything -- all that joy can bring! -- this I swear. Yes, I swear. And all that I want from you is a promise you...will not wear this. Ever again. Seriously. Stop right now. Thank you very much.

February 20, 2008

Say You'll Be Fug

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Oh my god, you guys. The LohanLeggingitis has mutated! It's turned from Leggings As Pants to...NO PANTS AT ALL.

Seriously, Geri, a Man's-Shirt-As-Outfit works only on very specific occasions: the Morning After scene in a romantic comedy; as a costume for the Sexy Rumpled Woman Who Just Loves a Clean-Shaven Face in a Gillette Mach3 ad; and those actual real-life occasions when you decide to pretend you're in a razor commercial while your boyfriend shaves. Two of these events are fictional, one of them is personal, and neither of them involve being escorted places by boy back-up dancers while wearing a pelt.

January 15, 2008

Every Boy And Every Girl, Fug Up Your Life

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[Photo: infdaily.com]

SPORTY: Don't you love my bangs?

GINGER: Don't you love how I sort of look like I'm taking my aging tips from Madonna, with the yoga and the muscles and the wavy hair?

BABY: Don't you love daydreaming? Like, say, about a time you can take off a huge wrap that makes you look boxy?

SOLDIER DUDE: Hi, Mom! Can you see me? HI!

SCARY: Don't you love going to the hairdresser to get a piece of Mel's bangs action, and coming away looking older and like a flight attendant on a really cheap airline? Take your unapproved electronic devices and shove them up your arses, mmmkay? Buh-bye.

BABY: Don't you miss Posh?

SPORTY: Where IS Posh?

SCARY: Dunno -- who's the really reedy gay dude down the end, though? Maybe he's her stand-in?

GINGER: He has BOOBS, though. I think I recognize those, actually.

BABY: I thought that was Angelina Jolie!

SPORTY: I thought it was a really big Chuck Norris fan!

SOLDIER DUDE: I thought it was Becks!

POSH: Don't you people just love androgyny? It's so hot right now. Well, it is when you get your rack out. That's what Roberto said: "Are you a man? Are you a woman? Are you everything? I need to see more of your breasts."

GINGER: Bollocks, now NOBODY will be looking at me. This is awful.

SCARY: Well, I've got a hot tip on where the emergency exits are, if anyone wants the demonstration.

June 2, 2005

Fuggabe

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I realize that this is the former Scary Spice, so in a sense you get what you pay for, but I refuse to believe that what Mel B wants -- what she really, REALLY wants -- are leggings, rolled-up shorts, and purple loafer pumps. Nobody outside the movie Teen Witch wants any of that.

I blame Stefani for this. DAMN YOU, STEFANI.

Results tagged “spice girls” from GoFugYourself

2 Become Fug

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Fugi Hallifug

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Met Ball Fug-or-Fab Carpet: Victoria Beckham

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Zigga Zig Fug

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Fug or Fab: Emma "Baby Spice" Bunton

Fug file:

Zig-A-Fug-Ah

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Fug World

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Say You'll Be Fug

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Every Boy And Every Girl, Fug Up Your Life

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Fuggabe

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