Search Results

May 5, 2009

Met Ball Fug Carpet: Kirsten Dunst

Fug file:

As I noted in the piece we wrote for NY Mag.com about this evening, when I saw this picture in thumbnail form, I actually squealed with joy because I thought Helen Mirren was in the house.

Once I enlarged said photo, the following IMs were exchanged:

JESSICA: KIKI NO NO NO KIKI NO

HEATHER: OH KIKI. NO.

JESSICA: OH KIKI

We rarely communicate in all caps -- okay, that's a lie. We often communicate in all caps, especially on nights like the Oscars or the Met Ball, and frankly, we're just trying to be more like Kanye West as it is. But in this case, I feel like the caps were really WARRANTED. I am SO happy that Kirsten Dunst is out and about again. She pleases me in many ways and I hope she gets a job soon so I can read about her career renaissance in one of my many glossy magazines. I also hope that said renaissance comes with a stylist who will find her a series of gowns that don't make her look like a 70 year old woman. A HOT 70 year old woman, but still. Kiki. Come on. What are you doing? Why so saggy? Why so fringed? Why so saggy and fringed? Why are you always wearing something that looks somewhat like something from the Barbara Mandrell show, thus leading me to believe that you're about to burst into a country western song from the early 80s? Why why why why why?

April 24, 2009

Fug or Fab: Leighton, Chloe, and Kate

Fug file:

At the Chloe store opening last night, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that most of the celebrity invitees were clothed in the label's outfits, especially since many of them had the same shoes on or similarly cut things. But as I'm fond of pointing out, you can always say no to something if it's sort of blah. Ergo, onward we press.

First up: Leighton Meester, wearing something that almost gave me a heart attack because initially I thought it was the same thing Aubrey O'Day had on here. But then I realized that, no, Leighton got her hands on the expensive and better-made version:

Those shoes are crazy, but also sort of beautiful -- I appreciate them as art, but can't help thinking they look a little clunky on an actual foot. Still, they're the least of my issues: Now that Leighton's hair is lightened, her skin is self-tanned a little more, her outfit is a fleshy peach-orange color, and she's enrolled in the Emily Deschanel School of Undereye Makeup That Makes You Look Exhausted All The Time, La Meester no longer really pops. Everything kind of blends together. Not to mention that the waistline and giant tie on that skirt reminds me of a pair of shorts I REALLY LOVED back in fifth grade. But I appreciate where the whole thing was going, and although this is faint praise indeed, she certainly could look a lot worse. And my other question is, if Aubrey O'Day wore the Designer Imposter version of this outfit first, does it ruin anything this one is trying to do?

Next up: The Sev.

Continue reading Fug or Fab: Leighton, Chloe, and Kate.

February 16, 2009

You Fug You Love Me

Fug file:

OH GOD MOMSEN:

This dress is lovely; WHY ARE YOU SO GLUM? Also, seriously....who is doing your face and hair? Who? And why are you letting them do this to you? Remember, a few weeks ago, when Eric Van Der Woodsen complimented you for losing the raccoon eyes, and you were all, "I know, right?" APPLY HIS CRITIQUE TO YOUR REAL LIFE. You're so very young. Even if you ARE strung out, you shouldn't LOOK strung out. It's like the best part of being young: the ability to string yourself out and still look delish. Not that I think you're actually strung out. You know what I'm saying. But you HAVE inspired me. It occured to me, looking at this photo, that VH1 would be well-served to start a new show, along the times of Rock of Celebrity Tools Rehab Academy, or whatever those shows are all called, in which a variety of troubled starlets have to live together in a ginormous mansion and improve themselves whilst occasionally having catfights and pouring beers into one another's weaves. Momsen could be there to have some stern taskmaster wash her face and cheer her up; Miley Cyrus could learn that she needs to never pose for photos, ever (seriously, I feel like she's had about nine scandals over various snaps in the last six months); Lilo can be there as a cautionary tale; and so forth. God, I want to set my Tivo for that RIGHT NOW.

February 11, 2009

Overfugged

Fug file:

Wow. It takes a special conglomeration of items to create a look that makes your posture look this Igor-lumbering-around-the-lab level of terrible:

Listen, if you're going to wear those pants, (a) think twice, (b) then once again, (c) then have the common decency to pair them with a top that doesn't make you look as though you're spending the entire evening hunched over at a sixty-degree angle. The last person who could pull off a shawl-bodice concoction was Jessica Fletcher, and unless Roisin Murphy here was attending the Elle Style Awards solely to confront Mickey Rourke in an abandoned stairwell about some terrible crime she's fingered him for (insert joke about his criminal plastic surgery here) (insert joke about "fingering" here) (insert apology for gross "fingering" joke here) (insert apology to Mickey Rourke here) (insert heartfelt explanation that I wouldn't be nearly so upset about what he did to his face if I didn't think his first face was so nice to begin with here), then I confess to being at a loss.

November 13, 2008

Fug's Anatomy

Fug file:

I feel like I ought to feel sorry for Melissa George. While I loved her on that short-lived show she did with John Stamos where they were both cat burglars or something, she otherwise has a tendency to take roles that are destined to be loathed and detested by the fan base of whatever show she's joining. Okay, maybe that's only happened once so far -- with Alias -- but the hate was LEGENDARY and I think it could very well happen again, now that she's joining Grey's Anatomy, although I feel like people are less on fire for Grey's than they used to be. I am. I blame Heigl. Anyway: Melissa George has been wildly derided on the internets for many things -- mostly because she played the girl who stole Vaughn away from Sydney (even though Sydney was dead), and I agree that role was a mistake all around. And, now, she's going to get it for this:

It DOES look cozy. But maybe she should have tried to be cozy in something that didn't make her look like she was wearing a clothing equivalent of a lumpy bowl of oatmeal.

October 7, 2008

Fug or Fab (Except Mostly Fug): Sarah Paulson

Fug file:

I wanted to like this, I really did:

I don't know WHY. Maybe because it's a nice color, and there's something romantic about the filmy sleeves -- if Grace Farrell were to flit about her employer's mansion dancing with the gardener and crooning songs about adopting plucky orphan girls whom she enjoys taking to the movies, then she might do it today in something like the above. But I think it's kind of a disaster on Sarah. I can't tell if it's the design or her posture or both, but her shoulders look slouchy and saggy, like she is on the tail end of heaving a huge sigh. I can't tell where her boobs are. And, also potentially to do with the way she's standing and/or the cut of the sleeves, it makes her look vexingly emaciated in the torso region. Also, her blush is orange. And I don't think the haircut suits her face shape. Plus, she looks smug. Nobody associated with Studio 60 has a right to look that smug. in fact, because of that turd of a show, she and everyone else should be apologizing to the world for the next two years.

Hmm, apparently I have stronger negative feelings toward this whole affair than I thought. Well, I TRIED. I really did. But I'd still like to hear from you:

poll by twiigs.com

October 3, 2008

Peaches Fugdof

Fug file:

What's wrong, Peaches?

[Photos: Splash]

Headband too tight? Pissy because The Sun told everyone what a total brat you are? Wait, where are you going?

Continue reading Peaches Fugdof.

October 3, 2008

High Fug Fugical

Fug file:

Clearly, I am going to have to open up a facility somewhere in Hollywood that preps people for red-carpet events. There will be a booth that simulates paparazzi flashbulbs so that you can get a full photo of your outfit and make sure the lights don't burn through to your nipple flowers or create unfair reflections; there will be wind cannons and people to hug so you can ensure your dress stays put in all the right ways; and there will be a whole runway you can walk with a book balanced on your head to make sure you don't do this:

I'm not in love with this dress -- the overlay and the necklace kind of evoke a Cruel Intentions rip-off set in Tinkerbell's high school -- but honestly, what you wear is almost always moot when you're slouching down far enough to get carpet fibers in your knuckles. Look proud of yourself, Vanessa! Throw back your shoulders! Pick up your head! You're young and pretty and the envy of every pubescent child that has a High School Musical poster taped to the ceiling. WORK IT.

poll by twiigs.com

September 19, 2008

How To Fug Friends And Alienate People

Fug file:

I feel like the Dakota Fanning heads in those posters are glaring at Kirsten Dunst, all, "Oh, GREAT. Is THIS what I have to look forward to from my twenties?" Because as charming a person as Kirsten might be, this outfit just makes me depressed:

It's just so SAD. The shlumpy blue camisole, the little string suspenders attached to her sack skirt that doesn't appear to fit, those piffling white flats, no makeup, bangs in her face... seriously, "sad sack" is the phrase. If 80 percent of Paul Giamatti's resume could be interpreted sartorially, it would look like this. And it's confusing, because I thought Kirsten was dating Justin Long. Isn't he packing some kind of magic man-wand? Remember how glowy Drew Barrymore got while they were hot and heavy? I mean, he's freaking MAC, for God's sake. According to all those 30-second spots on my TV, everything he touches turns to happy. So what are you waiting for, man? TOUCH HER, JUSTIN. TOUCH HER LIKE YOU MEAN IT.

September 18, 2008

Don't Fug Away

Fug file:

OMG YOU GUYS. I am SO excited about Mischa Barton's new movie!!!!

It's called Shitty Posture: A Love Story: Starring Mischa Barton as Slumpy: And Introducing Leo and Leora Leopard Print, the Matchy Twins! It's going to be so awesome! I heard from this guy on the escalator at Century City that's totally more heartfelt and touching and layered and complex than Beverly Hills Chihuahua and he swore he worked at CAA so he TOTALLY KNOWS. See you in line!!

Results tagged “stand up straight” from GoFugYourself

Met Ball Fug Carpet: Kirsten Dunst

Fug file:

Fug or Fab: Leighton, Chloe, and Kate

Fug file:

You Fug You Love Me

Fug file:

Overfugged

Fug file:

Fug's Anatomy

Fug file:

Fug or Fab (Except Mostly Fug): Sarah Paulson

Fug file:

Peaches Fugdof

Fug file:

High Fug Fugical

Fug file:

How To Fug Friends And Alienate People

Fug file:

Don't Fug Away

Fug file:

Search

Fug Favorites

Featured Fugger

The Book of fug

Subscribe to GFY