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May 8, 2009

Fugdie Marsh

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Look, you guys! Jodie Marsh is DRESSED!

... Okay, "dressed." She does look like Cleopatra, reincarnated as a Renaissance Faire's in-house jazzercize instructor. And she IS still using flesh as pants. But I have to work a LOT harder than usual to notice that you can see faint outlines of her bra and panties under it. And we wouldn't know nearly as much about her waxing habits if she were standing up straight. So in some senses this is a huge improvement. Certainly as far as my retinas are concerned, anyway.

May 6, 2009

Met Ball Fug-or-Fab Carpet: Victoria Beckham

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The fact that our girl Posh was not even close to being the weirdest-dressed Met Ball attendee almost makes me wonder if we're in some kind of alternate universe, where up is down, down is up, high-waisted pants are universally flattering, and Intern George has a blemish.

But she's still the leggy, over-tanned exhibitionist we know and love. Or hate, or just can't be bothered to feel ANYTHING about except a mild urge to pack her back to a life of obscurity. As for how I feel about THIS, I don't know. It has all the Posh hallmarks: huge shoes that don't look especially comfortable (is she en pointe in those things?), a tiny skirt that jettisons her thigh muscles from the unbearable prison of fabric, and an eruption of attempted drama. The minidress kind of reminds me of an old-school swimsuit -- the type of thing we'd call a Bathing Costume, with the merest hint of a snooty accent to remind us that it's from Olden Times. The cape? Maybe a matching cover-up.

But I don't know if it's interesting enough to scream either fug OR fab, yet it's also not dullsville, because it's Posh, and she IS strutting around like a polka-dotted peacock. And when you factor in my general feelings of affection for Her Campiness, it's probably best to let you guys be the voice of judgment.

poll by twiigs.com

April 30, 2009

Chafug Iman

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As a catwalk model, I'm sure Chanel Iman is well-practiced in the art of wearing things that are so short, her G-spot is practically an accessory.

But, much like how I am technically capable of shaving my head and painting it with Smurf portraits, just because a girl CAN do something does not mean she SHOULD.

March 5, 2009

Fugmanda Bynes

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If Amanda Bynes is proud of her legs, then hooray for her -- seriously, enjoy the lack of cellulite while it lasts, kid, because Mother Nature is mean and cranky and someday she will spank you with her dimpled paddle.

Evidently she is equally proud of her crotch, given that she seems hell-bent on trying to show it to everyone (don't worry, this is safe for work):

[Photo: Splash News]

HONEY. We live in a society. You have to be careful how you stretch when you're in a tiny micro-mini, and you have to be doubly mindful when you are standing on a staircase and anyone down below can look up and immediately write a 100,000-word thesis on your waxing habits. Does NO ONE in Hollywood offer up a seminar to young actresses on how to keep their vaginas under wraps? She got lucky here, but it's only a matter of time.

You know, her birthday is coming up -- can someone at least make sure she receives lots of underwear?

February 12, 2009

Grammy Awards Fug Carpet: Robyn

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I suppose it's apt that Robyn's bejewelled purse resembles some kind of exotic fruit, given that her own forbidden goodies are moments away from dropping out of the tree. The question is which land mass will be exposed first: The northern end, or the Garden of Eden down south. You just KNOW somebody at the Grammys started a betting pool.

January 12, 2009

Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Jessica Capshaw

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Aw, Jessica Capshaw really is so cute.

It's kind of mean that no one told her that she looks a bit like a Playboy bunny in this thing. I mean, I assumed that since she's on Grey's Anatomy now, she wouldn't need to be agitating for a side-gig on The Girls Next Door. But who am I to say? Maybe girlfriend has been dying to take a dip in that grotto. If that's the case, though, she really should have gone full Bunny and worn the ears. I know the conventional wisdom is never to go full Bunny, but I have to disagree. Especially since it would have been a bit amusing for the rest of us, no? Don't ever say that I'm not looking out for you kids.

December 16, 2008

Fugsa Rinna

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When I noticed Lisa Rinna did not wear anything made of leopard print and/or a corset to this party, I seriously just about threw my hands to the heavens, praised whatever higher power is hanging out up there eating bon-bons and sorting through an Inbox full of prayers, and then passed out from the shock of it all.

But then once Intern George revived me with his special home brew of smelling salts and Jif, I realized something else:

Yes, she's not wearing animal print, but she's ALSO not wearing pants. That is not an okay compromise. Lady, you own a boutique; presumably you know the difference between a turtleneck shirt and a dress. If you don't, then I suspect your shop is not for me. Which is not to say Lisa Rinna isn't in great shape; clearly, she is. If I could swap my legs for hers right now, it would be kind of awkward, but I'd totally do it. However, I sort of feel like there's a point in our lives, possibly the moment we all graduate from diapers into big-girl pants we can change on our own, where the threat of exposing our crotches -- even if it'they have panty-hose seams running over them -- becomes unseemly. If that thing were like four inches longer we'd STILL get the point that she has great gams, but without looking quite so desperate. You can make a statement without skipping straight to vulva-skimming hemlines, okay, Lisa? I PROMISE.

poll by twiigs.com

December 3, 2008

Fug in Translation

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terribly short

"That's right, plebians! Gaze on the Johansson! Behold my nubile glory! Witness a sliver of the misguided tattoo I got for Ryan Reynolds, because that always works out so well! Implore me to pull my skirt down an inch or two! Sob as I ignore your words of wisdom! SOB, FOOLS!"

December 1, 2008

British Independent Film Awards Fug Carpet: Sienna and Keira

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KEIRA: Um, Sienna? What are you doing?

SIENNA: Shh, be quiet. I'm trying to do your silent pouty thing where you look kind of coy and cross and hungry all at once.

KEIRA: Not bad, not bad. But it's better when you open your lips up a little bit.

SIENNA: You mean, like this?

Continue reading British Independent Film Awards Fug Carpet: Sienna and Keira.

November 24, 2008

American Music Awards Fug or Fab: Rihanna

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I have kind of grown to love Rihanna. She doesn't always look great, but she never looks boring, and thank god for that. A few months ago, Heather and I were all in a tizzy because she wasn't nominated for the Best Dressed Female Teen Choice Award - well, as much as you can get in a tizzy over something as meaningless as the Teen Choice Awards, which means we spent about six minutes talking about it and then went back to discussing how cute David Boreanez is on Bones or something. But seriously: she's ballsy with the clothes, and I think she's adorable here, even if this IS made out of a napkin:

EXCEPT: Rumor has it that RiRi spend the entire evening desperately trying not to flash people, because this thing was so short (I forgot the AMAs were on, and when someone told me they were, I actually have a moment where I thought we were talking about the American Medical Association, because I hadn't had nearly enough caffeine yesterday).

poll by twiigs.com

Results tagged “terribly short” from GoFugYourself

Fugdie Marsh

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Met Ball Fug-or-Fab Carpet: Victoria Beckham

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Chafug Iman

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Fugmanda Bynes

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Grammy Awards Fug Carpet: Robyn

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Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Jessica Capshaw

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Fugsa Rinna

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Fug in Translation

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British Independent Film Awards Fug Carpet: Sienna and Keira

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American Music Awards Fug or Fab: Rihanna

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