Results tagged “top design” from GoFugYourself

October 17, 2008

Fug Design

Just when I think to myself, "Self, surely Kelly Wearstler will never be able to top the get-ups she wore last week on Top Design," THIS happens:

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Wait! Let's get a look at the close-up!:

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Wait! Wait! Wait! Let's look at the wide shot!

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YES. It's an honest-to-God turban! And masses of jewelry! And a square dress made from a pile of leaves! I kept expecting her to grab someone's palm and be like, "I see a trip over water... a mysterious, dark-haired man... a paddle ball tournament... and an incident with Baked Alaska." Sadly, that dream was not realized. Nor was my dream of seeing reaction shots of the rest of the judges from the first time they see Kelly walk out of her dressing room. India Hicks would be silently nonplussed. Jonathan Adler would do that tight, painful smile he does when he's thinking mean things about your design but doesn't want to be cruel and then say something cheerful like, "That turban reminds me of a lamp I once designed!" And Margaret Russell would just smile, nod briefly, and then silently walk away. Come on, Magical Elves. You know this is a good idea. Make my dream a reality. It would be almost as awesome as that turban.

Okay, we need to talk about Kelly Wearstler. I am watching Top Design, but it's one of those shows that I watch while I do something else -- like read a magazine, or work -- so I have a tendency to glance up at the screen and gasp, "OH MY GOD" whenever I see what she is wearing on any given day. Let me be frank: her outfits are totally crazy. And yet...could you resist this? (One of these is my handiwork, the rest are from BravoTV.com -- you will NEVER be able to tell which is which.)

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That is some truly spectacular work. I have never seen a woman so adept with the crimper or enamoured of crazy headgear. Or fingerless gloves. Or pins. And, listen, I know it might be wrong of me. It goes against all I stand for, and everything I hold dear. BUT I AM FALLING IN LOVE WITH HER.  AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME. No! No, you cannot. We come from two different worlds -- I, sadly, own no sequined berets -- but since when has that ever delayed the course of true love/a shared affection for beehives? NOT EVER. Not on my watch.


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