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November 19, 2009

Unfug It Up: Melissa Joan Hart

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Well. This is a TERRIBLE IDEA from Sabrina:

This dress is like the unholy love child of a French maid costume and Betty Draper's reject pile. I know this is a tall order, dear readers -- a Venti order, even -- but can this look be fixed? Pretend Salem the talking cat has a gun to your head and is demanding you undo what MJH has done to herself. Fix this mess, or the cat will end you. I have faith in your skills. GO:

November 16, 2009

Love Fug

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I've just spent like twenty minutes staring at Chloe Sevigny here:

The only conclusion that I've reached is that I would have LOVED this outfit when I was eight years old. Smocking, AND glitter, AND puffed sleeves!?! (Like Anne Shirley, I found puffed sleeves to be the height of sophistication as a youth.) A color palette complimentary to my Lemon Meringue doll? A faint whiff of Figure Skater to the entire undertaking. Sold! Sold for two weeks worth of allowance and six Scratch 'n' Sniff stickers to 3rd Grade Jessica!

October 23, 2009

Fugmilla Belle

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Remember when Camilla Belle was going to be real famous, because she was dating one of the Jonaii, and she was in that awful movie about cavemen? Yeah, that didn't work out so well. Nor, I would argue, has this:

Unless, of course, she actually IS an ice dancer, and she and her flaxen-haired Russian emigre partner are about to perform a sweeping routine based on Swan Lake, involving all kinds of limbs going all kinds of places most peoples limbs are incapable of reaching. In that case, I'm ALL OVER IT, but those heels are going to be hard to skate in.

October 8, 2009

Leave Fug to Lamas

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We're going to be seeing a lot of Shayne Lamas and her twee tea party dresses between now and when her reality show premieres, aren't we?

After which point, it could go one of two ways:

A swift, merciful slide back into obscurity, after America reiterates that we are not at all interested in anything Lamas-related, although we could probably be talked into watching Leave It to Llamas.
Leave It to Lamas is a yoooge, Kardashian-y success, Shayne ends up clawing her way toward the middle of Fug Madness, we all spend a fair amount of time cursing humanity for giving the spotlight to this person (while being ourselves part of the problem rather than the solution, obviously), and then she starts her own line of ruffle-y twee party dresses that we all make fun of, before accidentally buying one and feeling the need to make excuses every time we wear it, primarily to people who don't care.

October 5, 2009

Fug it to Lamas

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When we were live-blogging the Emmys red carpet on E!, Heather and I first became aware that Shayne Lamas -- who was the last woman standing on the Bachelor season featuring Hot British Dude Matt Grant -- has gotten herself a new gig: LEAVE IT TO LAMAS, featuring the rest of her family and their -- I presume -- hilariously Kardashian-esque shenanigans. Which means, I fear, that we will see much more of this in the future:

I do not understand why every time we see Shayne Lamas, she's dressed like the pre-adolescent heroine of a Noel Streatfeild novel. Her waistless satin frock with a giant neck bow is IDEAL if you're an 11 year old theatrical prodigy about to charm the producers of London's most famous pantomime circa 1938, or if you're a plucky orphan/ballet dancer whose sisters recently nearly died of the influenza and you must land a well-paying role in order to even light the drawing room fire. If you are, on the other hand, a grown-ass modern woman who sprang from the loins of a man most recently known for being gross as a judge on Are You Hot?, then it's just a weird, off-putting disconnect.

October 2, 2009

Fugarazzi

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I need to sit down. Well, technically, I am sitting down. I need to stand up and then sit back down.

I feel like, in comparison to Lady Gaga's usual, this is the equivalent of one of us -- the pants-wearing people -- leaving the house in like, a pair of jeans layered over leggings, worn under two skirts and a pair of Bermuda shorts. Sure, I'm pretty sure this is what the cocktail waitresses at Vegas's newest American Revolution-themed casino -- Paul Revere's Alehouse and Whist Emporium -- are going to be eventually be forced to wear, but that doesn't mean it's not progress.

September 29, 2009

Fuglyoaks

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Loui Batley here is on the Brit soap Hollyoaks:

Rumor has it that she's leaving at the end of the year and will "go out with a bang." Bear in mind that, thus far, her character Sarah has: intentionally blown a change to swim at the Olympics so as to enact revenge on her mother, who slept with Sarah's boyfriend in an attempt to force Sarah to break up with him so that she could spend more time on her swimming; got back together with the dude who slept with her mom, and let him take naked photos of her, which he then showed to everyone they knew; got engaged to a gay guy who kind of tried to assault her and who ended their relationship by calling her a whore; forgave the assaulting whore-caller; became a model; saw her mother incarcerated in a mental institution; got back together with the dude who slept with her mom, but broke it off with him AGAIN after she found out he was just dating her to get over being in love with his own half-sister; caused a friend's nervous breakdown after he caught her sleeping with his physics professor in his bed; starting dating and subsequently was dumped by the dude who had the nervous breakdown; had a drunken, lesbian encounter with her own step-mother; was then disowned; dated her step-mother's brother until she found out he had a nasty habit of rating all his conquests in a book; and decided she is a lesbian, who then nearly immediately almost accidentally poisoned her new girlfriend.

So, several things.

This woman clearly has no time to worry about her clothing, leading to...this.
WHY DON'T WE GET HOLLYOAKS IN THE UNITED STATES?

September 22, 2009

Emmy Awards Unfug It Up: Jessica Lowndes

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I can't remember what 90210's Jessica Lowndes's hair looked like back when I was watching that show the first time -- I stopped watching, and then EW said it was entertaining again and I picked it back up, and it IS kind of more entertaining now -- but regardless, she has been looking very pretty indeed lately. But let's talk about this outfit:

I feel like it's CLOSE to good and yet not quite there. I kind of almost wish it was a weeeeee bit shorter, or that she'd paired different shoes with it. Something about the dress's length, plus the straps of the shoes feels a teensy bit off for me. I might make the dress itself closer to knee-length, and give her more traditional looking shoes -- you know, with the thought being that if you're going to drift toward a sort of 50s prom look, you might as well just REALLY GO THERE. I mean, not in a costume-y way, but...COMMIT. COMMIT, LADIES!

But what would you do, readers? I feel that this needs some tweaking in order to shut it down, so that we can all die/go bananas, a la Rachel Zoe. Please enlighten us! (Nicely, as usual.)

September 10, 2009

Superfug

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Golden Girls,
twee

There are pros and cons to Emma Stone's outfit here.

The con, of course, is that it's heinous.

Obviously I wasn't there, but I am pretty sure that Rose Nyland wore this to her wedding rehearsal dinner back in St. Olaf.

However, the pro is that at least this means Emma Stone may grow up into the kind of friend for whom, if she threw a party and invited everyone she knew, she would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say, "Thank you for being a friend." I'm so glad we have that to look forward to now.

September 1, 2009

Daytime Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Jacqueline MacInnes Wood

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Jacqueline MacInnes Wood plays Steffy Forrester on The Bold and The Beautiful and when I explain what has happened to Steffy in her short life you will easily understand why B&B won best Daytime Drama on Sunday night.

It seems she:

Has fallen off a boat and been presumed eaten by sharks
Has been held captive by her father's ex.
Was held captive AGAIN by the same ex.
Was saved from said ex -- who was then committed to an insane asylum -- by her father, who drove his car through a building to do it.
Has to deal with being the child of a man who not only is apparently a reckless driver, but who also has been married eight times to three women
Lost her mother in a brutal murder that of course turned out to be just a misunderstanding
Was conveniently sent to boarding school so she could Rapidly Age
Lost her twin sister who died in a car accident the night of their father's rehearsal dinner (I am so sure she's actually dead. You could burst into flames on a soap and then have your head cut off and they can bring you back) and realized this solely thanks to her Magic Psychic Twin Power
Appears to be engaged to her own step-uncle who once tried to marry her mom. I think. This show is CONFUSING. I totally have to start watching.

Seriously, the fact that her skirt is made out of cupcake liners is totally the least of her problems.

Results tagged “twee” from GoFugYourself

Unfug It Up: Melissa Joan Hart

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Love Fug

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Fugmilla Belle

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Leave Fug to Lamas

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Fug it to Lamas

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Fugarazzi

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Fuglyoaks

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Emmy Awards Unfug It Up: Jessica Lowndes

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Superfug

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Daytime Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Jacqueline MacInnes Wood

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