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October 19, 2009

Fug Crush

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"Hey guys! I'm Kate Bosworth."

"You're probably wondering where I've been recently. But listen, it takes a LOT of work to find a dress that makes ME look THIS queasy. I've been busy!"

September 21, 2009

Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Jane Krakowski

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Listen. Who DOESN'T love Jane Krakowski? I mean, her work in The Rural Juror alone has given me hours of pleasure:

But I feel like if someone tried to dress her 30 Rock character in this dress, that person would be in for a world of completely ineffectual hurt:

This both washes her out AND makes her look boxy. In other words, it's like she's wearing a recycled bulk mailer. Part of the problem is that J. Krak doesn't have much of a waist -- a debilitating and crippling condition I happen to share -- so she needs to wear a dress that helps create the illusion of one. AKA, not this one. The Rural Juror votes, GUILTY.

June 4, 2009

Fug or Fab: Kate Bosworth

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I always love to look at the OTHER people in a photo like this:

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

There's always Bored Bouncer Type Guy -- who sees these sorts of shenanigans all the time. And then you've usually got one Concerned Associate, and Some Dude Yelling, and then there is always one person who looks moderately amused by the fact that any of this is happening at all. I always wonder which of those people I would be. I like to THINK I would be Vaguely Amused This Is Happening, but I know me. I would probably be Some Dude Yelling.

But let's talk about Kate, here. I do have to hand it to her for taking risks -- if only because, if she didn't, I wouldn't have as much to write about. There are aspects of this dress that I really like -- but anyone who's read this site for longer than two minutes know what my complaint is: I don't think this color does anything for her. She looks like a pat of butter.

poll by twiigs.com

May 15, 2009

Fug or Fab: Bryce Dallas Howard

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Hey, it's Bryce Dallas Howard! I sort of forgot she was real.

Call me crazy, but is there something about this look that seems very....SWINTON to you? I mean, leaving aside the fact that SWINTON doesn't bare her legs very often. I can just see it on her, perhaps because it's mildly futuristic and also a bit ugly, but in a way that seems potentially extemely expensive. It takes a brave woman to SWINTON on us, but perhaps we should have expected nothing less from the Heir of Richie Cunningham. That being said, sometimes SWINTON doesn't even pull off SWINTON so what chance have the rest of us got?

poll by twiigs.com

May 11, 2009

Fug or Fab: Eva Longoria Parker

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Apparently, I am indecisive today.

Much as I was with Mariska Hargitay before her, I am of two minds about ELP here. (1) I'm sure that, in person, the detail work on this dress is amazing. (2) But she might look a bit shapeless and washed out. (3) But texturally, it's really interesting. (4) Although there's something about it that reminds me of a pile of window treatment samples come to life. (5) I think she needs a bracelet. (6) Never mind, she's wearing one. (7) I know this might an unpopular opinion, but I think ELP is actually really good on Desperate Housewives. Although I don't watch it anymore. (8) This also kind of looks like low shag carpet. (9) I'm sure 4 out of 10 readers just made a "shag" joke to themselves. (10) Apparently, I am of more than two minds about this.

poll by twiigs.com

May 5, 2009

Met Ball Fug Carpet: Rachel Weisz

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Seriously, every time I looked at this photo, I gasped. And I looked at it A LOT:

Sweet fancy bananas, she looks bad. The dress is bad, the makeup is bad, the hair is bad, the styling is bad -- seriously, a choker? Are you Kelly Taylor in 1994? -- the whole thing is just WRETCHED. She looks like she's in costume for a period piece in which she plays a beautiful debutante (the daughter, obviously, of some kind of nefarious robber baron) who is slowly dying of some terrible mysterious wasting disease and she just finished filming the scene where she collapses at the ball, right into the arms of the hunky but dissolute rake she loves. But of course they can never be together because he's under the angsty impression that he will never be good enough for her. Obviously, her pure and steadfast love will make him into a better man, but only after she dies, which looks like it's about ten minutes away from happening. Now, I sort of want to see the movie. But no one needs to reenact it in real life, you know? Wasting diseases are seriously unflattering.

April 15, 2009

Fug or Fab: Drew Barrymore

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Okay, first of all: we get it.

Second of all, this dress is -- undeniably -- gorgeous. Thirdly: that doesn't mean it works on her. D) Have you SEEN the tag line for Grey Gardens? It's something like, "the true story of Jackie O's incredible relatives." I'M NOT KIDDING. How freaking lazy is that? I mean, I guess it's DIRECT, but it's also BORING and doesn't seem to convey the idea that Drew is playing a woman who regularly wore her skirt on her head as a fashion statement. I'm serious. That needs to be better conveyed, and "Jackie O's crazy relatives!" doesn't do it. On the other hand, this would be an amusing trend. Like, "Terminator Salvation: Yeah, Yeah, This Is the Movie Where Bale Lost His Shit." Or, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince: The Awesome One With All the Flashbacks and Stuff, But Be Warned BAD THINGS HAPPEN AT THE END.." (iv) I guess that doesn't have anything to do with the matter at hand, but I had to get that out.

poll by twiigs.com

April 3, 2009

The Fugbook

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Time for my regularly scheduled hissy about wearing things the exact same color as your skin. Do I even really need to write it, or can you just fill in the blanks by yourself? It IS Friday, and I could use a break.

Allow me to provide you with a helpful template. Start off by commenting that Rachel McAdams is lovely/that you loved The Notebook/that you loved the episode of One Tree Hill where it is revealed that Skills loves The Notebook/ that you've never gotten over her break-up with Gosling, not least because it lends a terrible sad note to "Lazy Sunday." Then note that this dress, objectively, is actually very lovely/probably beautifully made/surely cost an arm and a leg/was clearly the result of a lot of laudable hard work by a stylist somewhere. But point out, finally and regretfully, that R. McA matches it so perfectly that she rather looks as though she's wrapped herself in layers of her own skin. Grossed out, publish your rant and go have a cookie. THE END.

March 3, 2009

Guys and Fugs

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This kind of bums me out. It's just SO BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH:

Maybe it's the cut, maybe it's the color, maybe it's them both, but I keep looking at this and thinking that she forgot whatever goes on top of it. Because, honestly, I think this is essentially a slip. Emily Gilmore would NOT approve.

February 27, 2009

Oscar Ceremony Fug: Nicole Kidman

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I just... I wish so many things. I wish I had a Diet Coke in my hand. I wish all the daytime soaps didn't suck right now. I wish those Charmin commercials with the dancing cartoon bears who flaunt their wiping habits had never been made. And I wish Nicole Kidman would stop wearing white.

I also wish she hadn't done her hair that way, but let's get back to the clothes: White DOES NOT WORK FOR ME ON HER BODY. Although Nicole has done what she can with makeup, I think it totally washes out her beautiful skin, especially without the darker red hair to balance it. As a fair skinned person myself, if I wore this, I suspect someone would come up to me and say, "I'm so sorry to see that you apparently have been locked in an attic for five years. You must have very strong WiFi in your house." Not to mention how the gown itself seems overly slouchy, and as if it's some sort of dying exotic bird that is about to molt its last feathers. I mean, seriously, if I yanked out the tails of some of my old My Little Pony toys and crimped them, and glued them to a skirt, it would be a pretty decent approximation of what's happening down around her feet. It saddens me. Bounce back with some color next time, Nic. I know you can do it -- you once wore chartreuse, woman! Be bold again.

Results tagged “washed out” from GoFugYourself

Fug Crush

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Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Jane Krakowski

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Fug or Fab: Kate Bosworth

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Fug or Fab: Bryce Dallas Howard

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Fug or Fab: Eva Longoria Parker

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Met Ball Fug Carpet: Rachel Weisz

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Fug or Fab: Drew Barrymore

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The Fugbook

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Guys and Fugs

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Oscar Ceremony Fug: Nicole Kidman

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